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What are some dating rules that hurt more than help?
哪些约会规则弊大于利？
Since 1995 when the book The Rules came out and codified the game playing, that was meant to be dating.
自从1995年The Rules一书问世并编纂了约会游戏规则以来，约会就是如此。
Dating has been a place of gaming and tactics. Let's take a look at some of the rules that hurt.
约会一直需要游戏和策略。让我们来看看一些有害的规则。
Number one, wait 3 days before responding. This rule is meant to show that you aren't really interested but you are.
第一，等待3天后再回复。这条规则旨在表明你并不是真的感兴趣，但你确实感兴趣。
These kinds of don't respond even though you want to rules can mean that authenticity is put to pasture before the relationship ever begins.
这种即使你想回复也不回复的规则可能意味着在关系开始之前，真实性就被搁置了。
Second, wait for the other person to make the first move. This can set up a sort of relationship purgatory where nobody wants to lose their power by expressing interest and a relationship can sort of die on the vine.
第二，等待对方迈出第一步。这可能会造成一种关系炼狱，没有人希望通过表达兴趣而失去权力，一段关系可能会半途而废。
This can get reinforced by gender stereotypes that suggest that it is bad form for a woman for example to say that she is interested.
性别刻板印象可能会强化这种印象，例如，女性说她感兴趣是不礼貌的。
Third, don't be needy. What does needy really mean? Because many people read it as don't express your needs. You can meet them where they at but not sacrifice what you need or want either.
第三，不要有求于人。needy到底是什么意思？因为很多人认为这指不表达你的需求。你可以在他们所在的地方遇见他们，但不必牺牲你的需要或想要的东西。
Fifth, avoid the apps. They are here to stay and are how lots of people are meeting.
第五，避免使用应用程序。它们会一直存在，而且是许多人见面的方式。
Demonizing dating apps entirely may lead you to miss some real opportunities and keep trying to meet people the old fashioned way as well.
完全妖魔化约会软件可能会让你错过一些真正的机会，并继续尝试以老掉牙的方式结识人们。
