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What is hardballing?
什么是强硬态度？
Hardballing is laying it all out there right in the beginning, putting your expectations and wants out there in black and white from the jump.
强硬态度就是从一开始就把一切都摆出来，从一开始就把你的期望和愿望白纸黑字地摆出来。
No performative dance or seduction, it's clear. This approach is transparent and allows people to save time and psychological bandwidth.
没有表演性的舞蹈或诱惑，一切都很清楚。这种方法是透明的，可以让人们节省时间和心理带宽。
Now some people may be suspicious about this approach but there may be some benefit to doing that before your heart gets too deeply involved.
现在有些人可能会对这种方法持怀疑态度，但在你的心陷太深之前这样做可能会有一些好处。
Yes, relationships are about compromise but being clear on what matters to you.
是的，亲密关系就是妥协，但要清楚什么对你来说是重要的。
Whether around wanting marriage, children, expectations around religion, monogamy, sex before marriage can help you gain clarity but hardballing is not a cure-all.
对婚姻、孩子、宗教、一夫一妻制、婚前性行为的期望，都可以帮助你获得清晰的认识，但强硬态度并不是万能的。
It may not work as a way of setting expectations with regard to abusive and invalidating dynamic such as gaslighting, invalidation or betrayal.
它可能不适合作为一种设定期望的方式，用于解决虐待和无效的动态，例如煤气灯式效应、无效化或背叛。
A person may say they are in line with your expectations and then renege.
一个人可能会说他们符合你的期望，然后又食言。
It may even feel like a game to see if they can win you over despite their lack of adherence to your wish list.
这甚至可能感觉像是一场游戏，看看他们是否能赢得你的心，尽管他们没有遵守你的愿望清单。
Hardballing may clear what can often feel like ambiguous waters when dating but it's not a substitute for due diligence, paying attention to red flags and green ones and remaining true to yourself.
强硬态度可能会消除约会时经常感觉模棱两可的部分，但它不能代替尽职调查、注意危险信号和绿灯、忠于自己。
In fact, the best thing you can do is be clear on your hardball rules for yourself before you start dating.
事实上，你能做的最好的事情就是在开始约会之前明确自己的强硬规则。
And don't trick yourself into thinking that making that hardball clear means that everything will fall into place as a result.
不要欺骗自己，以为明确了强硬态度就意味着一切都会水到渠成。
