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You suck at cooking, yeah you totally suck.
你的厨艺弱爆了，完全弱爆了。
Today we're making hash browns, which are potatoes that have been dismantled, soaked, rinsed, squeezed, wang-jangled, flattened, fried, then degreased.
今天我们做土豆饼，也就是把土豆切碎、浸泡、漂洗、挤压、搅拌、压扁、油炸，然后去油。
We're going to use russet potatoes because that's what everyone else says is the best.
土豆要用棕皮的，因为其他人都说这种土豆最好吃。
They're called russet potatoes because when they're ripe, they rustle around.
棕皮土豆之所以叫做棕皮土豆，因为它们成熟之后会发出沙沙的声音。（注：russet谐音rustled。）
We'll start by removing the potato's insulating layer, which keeps it from getting too cold underground since it's a warm-blooded vegetable.
首先去除土豆的保温层，由于土豆是一种恒温蔬菜，保温层可以防止土豆在地下感觉太冷。
You can also put your potato inside a box and shake it, which leaves it disoriented and easier to handle.
你也可以把土豆放在盒子里摇晃，这样会让土豆迷失方向，更容易后续的处理。
Now we'll initiate the disintegration process by using this disintegrator.
现在用这个粉碎器启动粉碎过程。
You can also buy genetically modified pre- disintegrated potatoes if you want to save some time.
如果你想节省一些时间，也可以买转基因的预粉碎土豆。
You can also throw the potato against the wall if you want to make crash browns.
如果你想做土豆壁而不是土豆饼，也可以把土豆往墙上扔。（注：hash brown与crash brown发音相似。）
We're going to wash the smithereens in a bowl of water to clean the potatoes since they live underground, one of the dirtiest places on Earth.
把粉碎的土豆放在碗里清洗，因为土豆生活在地下，这是地球上最脏的地方之一。
But here's the thing I've learned about washing.
但关于清洗土豆，我了解到一些说法。
The longer you soak, the more starch is removed; and the more starch that's removed, the less they bind together when you're shaping your patties.
浸泡的时间越长，去除的淀粉越多；去除的淀粉越多，在捏土豆饼的时候土豆就越不容易粘合在一起。
Since this recipe has no egg, you don't want to wash them too long.
因为这个食谱里没有鸡蛋，所以不要洗得太久。
In fact if you just rinse them, they'll stay pretty sticky.
事实上，如果用水冲一下，土豆的粘性还是很好的。
And while every recipe on the Internet is going to say they won't end up as crispy, the thing is they're wrong and I'm right.
虽然网上的所有食谱都会说清洗后土豆饼不会那么脆，但实际上他们错了，而我是对的。
Now if you do soak them, save that water and serve it as a bowl of starch gazpacho, which is a German delicacy and traditionally eaten with a sausage spoon.
如果你把土豆浸泡了一下，可以把水留下来，当成一碗淀粉冷汤端上桌，这是一种德国美食，传统吃法是用香肠勺子把汤舀起来吃掉。
Now we'll lay those potato particles on a soft warm blanket and squeeze them to remove most of the moisture, and also so that they feel temporarily loved.
现在把这些土豆粒放在柔软温暖的毯子上，挤压一下，去除大部分水分，同时也让它们感受到短暂地被疼爱。
Now I'm going to add some oil to a non-stick pan and then add our potatoes.
现在在不粘锅里加点油，然后加入土豆。
We're cooking them for a few minutes because if you just go straight into making hash browns, they'll end up medium rare.
先炒几分钟，因为如果直接做土豆饼，最后只有五分熟。
We've cooked them for around 10 minutes now.
已经炒了大约10分钟了。
We'll let them cool off a bit.
让它们凉快一下。
Then we'll add them to a bowl to begin the reintegration process.
然后把它们倒进碗里，开始重新融合。
It's really important to only add certain spices to your hash browns and to avoid others.
非常重要的一点是，在土豆饼里只需要加某些调料，其他调料不要加进去。
So I made this comprehensive list to help guide you towards which spices will taste good, and that's about it.
所以我列出了下面这个很全面的清单，指导你选择哪些调料做出的土豆饼会好吃，差不多炒到这样就行了。
For every potato I'm going to go with a third teaspoon of flavor glitter, 1 teaspoon of garlic powder, 1 teaspoon of onion powder, and 1 teaspoon of corn starch.
一个土豆需要三分之一勺调味料，1勺蒜粉，1勺洋葱粉，1勺玉米淀粉。
The corn starch is important because it gives a nice corn flavor, which is the best flavor for potatoes.
玉米淀粉很重要，因为会让土豆有很好吃的玉米味，有玉米味的土豆是最好吃的。
Now we're going to take what was our 3D potatoes and shape them into 2D potatoes.
现在把我们的3D土豆做成2D土豆。
You don't have to make ovals if you don't want to.
如果你不想，也可以不捏成椭圆形。
You can of course make triangles, but that's it, no other shapes.
当然可以做三角形，但也就是这两种形状了，不能做其他形状。
I'm using my cast iron pan with oil about half the thickness of the hash browns.
铸铁平底锅里倒入油，油的高度大约是土豆饼厚度的一半。
Look how low that dial is.
看看，火要调得很低。
You don't need to go high.
不需要太大的火。
In fact you'll burn your house down if you do.
事实上，如果火太大，你会把你的房子烧掉。
Check the links below for fry and safety tips, please.
请查看视频下面的链接，了解油炸注意事项和安全提示。
I'm slowly lowering my hash browns into the dangerous oil, and the trick is to cook it until it's as brown as you like it.
我正在慢慢地把土豆饼放入危险的热油中，诀窍是把它煎成你喜欢的棕色。
If you prefer, you can use a stainless steel pan if you like having your hash browns literally welded to the bottom.
如果你愿意，也可以用不锈钢平底锅，如果你喜欢把土豆饼真地焊死在锅底上。
While flipping, I'm going to use this edging technique to avoid having hot liquid splash my hands and face.
在翻土豆饼时，我将使用溜边技巧，避免热油溅到我的手和脸上。
Then just a few more minutes in there, and those hash browns are good and crispy.
然后再煎几分钟，土豆饼就会变得非常脆。
Despite the the starch fearmongers telling you that you're going to go to soggy hash brown hell, we'll lay them on a comfortable paper towel for some after care and to ensure maximum crispito.
虽然害怕淀粉的人说这样做会让土豆饼变得软趴趴的，但还是要让它们舒舒服服地躺在厨房纸上接受后续护理，以确保最大限度的酥脆。
And here's my attempt at making a hash brown.
现在我在试着做一个井字号土豆饼。
The main issue I had was that the physics of reality didn't really line up with the physics in my mind when I thought of this.
我主要的问题是，现实的物理与我想象中的物理并不一致。
So not bad overall considering I made it in this dimension and not another one where it could have been easier.
考虑到我是在三维世界而不是在二维世界摆这个形状，二维世界可能会更容易，总体来说效果还不错。
Now this is a real crispiness test.
现在来测试一下脆度。
If that sounds like potato chips to you, it might be because these are made of the same material as those.
如果你觉得听起来像薯片，可能是因为土豆饼和薯片是用同样的材料制成的。
Guys, seriously, if these are not the absolute best hash browns you've ever eaten in your life, I promise you that means you found a recipe that's better than this one.
兄弟们，说真的，如果这个土豆饼不是你们一生中吃过的最好吃的土豆饼，那我向你们保证，这说明你们的食谱比我的食谱更好。
