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Today we're making tomato soup, which some people might think is very boring.
今天我们做西红柿汤，有些人可能会觉得西红柿汤很无聊。
But that's only because it's harder to say tomato, onion, garlic, chipotle pepper, broth, salt, sugar, pepper pepper pepper soup that's roasted until it tastes so delicious you're going to go.
这只是因为他们说不清楚“西红柿洋葱大蒜墨西哥辣椒肉汤盐糖胡椒胡椒汤”，这个汤还会被烤得非常美味，吃一口你就被香晕了。
You suck at cooking, yeah you totally suck.
你的厨艺弱爆了，完全弱爆了。
We're going to chop up this red onion, which is actually purple.
把这个红洋葱，实际上是紫洋葱，切碎。
It doesn't matter too much how you chop it since later we're going to be using a smithereen machine.
怎么切并不重要，因为稍后会用粉碎机。
So go buck wild with your onion chopping styled.
所以，尽情地狂野地切洋葱吧。
Then we're going to throw that in our baking dish with some olive oil and wangjangle that around, but not so quickly that it starts to cook from the friction.
然后把洋葱扔进烤盘并加一些橄榄油，然后开始搅拌，但不要搅拌太快，以免摩擦生热让洋葱变熟了。
We're going to do the same thing with garlic, making sure not to care about the shape.
大蒜也作同样处理，一定不要纠结大蒜的形状。
Whether that's a triangle, a perfect circle, a square, a square allelogram, a gram, a hand, a pan, some jam, your mam.
无论是三角形，完美的圆，正方形，菱形，一克，一只手，一个平底锅，一瓶果酱，还是你妈妈。
Those are also going to go in the baking dish for a good wangjangulation as well.
这些也要放进烤盘里，然后搅拌搅拌。
Now if you want to add a little smoky spiciness and you should want to add that, I highly recommend adding one chipotle pepper.
如果你想加一点带烟熏的辣椒，而且你应该加，那么我强烈建议你加一坨墨西哥辣椒酱。
If you add two chipotle peppers, you're going to end up with around 75 degrees Fahrenheit of spice so be careful.
如果加两坨，最后的汤会达到75华氏度，所以要小心。
Then we'll just wangjangle those in.
然后把辣椒酱也搅和进去。
Now we're going to wisely choose our tomatoes.
现在要明智地选择西红柿。
It's important that you use real tomatoes and not potatoes painted red.
重要的是，你要用真正的西红柿，而不是涂成红色的土豆。
Because those will taste like red paint and we're not making red paint soup today.
因为那些土豆会尝起来像红色油漆，我们今天可不是做红色油漆汤。
You can, of course, use fresh tomatoes.
当然，你可以用新鲜的西红柿。
You can use couch tomatoes, but I'm going to use my favorite tomatoes that are pirate-aged.
你可以用沙发西红柿，但我要用我最喜欢的海盗时代的西红柿。
And we'll just get these open.
把西红柿罐头打开。
If you think tomatoes are gross, you can also use finger-matoes.
如果你觉得西红柿很恶心，你也可以用小指头番茄果。
Now we're going to spoon feed these tomatoes to a parchment-papered pan.
现在用勺子把西红柿放到铺了吸油纸的平底锅里。
And by spoon feed I mean fork feed because you're not a little baby.
我说用勺子，其实是用叉子，因为你不再是小婴儿了。
We're separating these from that baking dish so that the tomato juice doesn't drown the onion and garlic,
西红柿和烤盘里的洋葱和蒜分开放，这样番茄汁就不会淹没洋葱和蒜了
so that we get more maillard reaction going, and also because we have red onions and red tomato which, if roasted together, will cancel out the flavor.
而且还能产生更多美拉德反应，而且红洋葱和红西红柿放在一起烤会负负得正，味道会被抵消。
Both those pans can go in the undo on 420 fundo.
这两个烤盘都可以放进420度的烤箱。
But every now and then we'll do a little wangjangling and rearranging.
时不时地要搅拌、翻一翻。
Then we'll throw them back in.
然后再放回烤箱。
Then we'll do that again and you can see we're maillarding the heck out of these.
然后再搅拌一次，你可以看到美拉德反应已经牛逼爆了。
Excuse my language. I'm sorry but I will not apologize for my wangjanguage.
请原谅我的言辞。我很抱歉，但我不会为我的“搅拌语”道歉。（wangjangle加language构成wangjanguage。）
And these will cook for around an hour or until you get bored.
西红柿可以烤一个小时左右，或者烤到你失去耐心为止。
And I'm going to try to deglaze the dish with some tomato juice.
现在我要用番茄汁把粘在烤盘上的洋葱脱盘。
Isn't deglaze a confusing term? Like am I removing a coat of shellac here or something.
脱盘是不是听起来很费解？就好像说我要在这里去除烤盘上的一层什么东西一样。
And basically all that stuff is going to go in the pot.
差不多所有这些东西都放进锅里。
And then I'm going to take out my smithereen stick while still being angry with my sister for taking back her Vitamix.
然后拿出我的粉碎搅拌棒，我妹妹把她的维他美仕搅拌机拿走了，我现在想想还是很气。
And we're just going to start magic-wanding that stuff until it turns into something soupy.
然后用这个魔法棒一直搅拌，直到它变成汤汁的样子。
I avoided adding all the broth so that we don't get too much of a soup tornado going here because there's nothing worse than a soup that's too windy.
不要一下子加入所有肉汤，以免出现一场肉汤龙卷风，因为最可怕的就是肉汤变成风到处喷洒。
Then we're going to add 2 teaspoons of salt.
然后加2勺盐。
Then we're going to add some pepper pepper pepper.
然后加一些胡椒胡椒。
We'll wangjangle this on low heat.
开着小火搅拌。
We'll check for WABS and do some adjusting with the salt. We'll admire the thick texture.
检查一下汤是不是太稀，并加盐调整咸度。看看这浓稠的质地。
And we'll also adjust with just a bit of sugar if you want.
如果你愿意，也可以加一点糖来调味。
Just take it a pinch at a time so you don't overdo it.
一次加一点点，免得加糖过量。
And we'll let that cook while we work on our grilled cheese, also known as closed face pizza, also known as hot flat savory cannoli.
汤先煮着，我们同时来做烤奶酪三明治，也被称为封闭式披萨，也被称为热食扁平奶油卷。
The big trend in grilled cheese over the past years is using mayo on the bread instead of butter.
近几年烤奶酪三明治流行在面包上用蛋黄酱而不是黄油。
If you can't decide which to use, just combine them both.
如果你不能决定用哪一种酱，就把两种酱混在一起。
Now we're going to butter mayo buttayo the bread.
现在我们要在面包上涂黄油、蛋黄酱、蛋黄油酱。
We're slicing up this Asiago cheese.
把这块阿夏戈奶酪切成片。
When slicing cheese, always test a piece to make sure it's not poison.
切奶酪时一定要先尝一点，确保它没有毒。
Nope, that's not poison.
没毒，安全可食用。
We're also going to slice up this mystery cheese.
还要切这块神秘奶酪。
It's a mystery because I threw the packaging away and wrapped it properly instead of trying to tuck that ripped plastic in, which leaves the corners dried out and gross.
这块奶酪很神秘，因为我把包装纸扔了，然后重新好好把它包了起来，而不是把它塞进撕碎的包装纸，让奶酪的边角变得很干很恶心。
This is a legit reason to start a fight with your roommate and/or partner.
这个问题很适合用来点燃你和室友或伴侣之间的战火。
Good news, also not poison.
好消息，这个奶酪也没毒。
And finally a handcrafted Artisan slice, so delicate and highend they've wrapped each slice individually.
最后是手工奶酪切片，这种奶酪如此精致和高端，每一片都是单独包装。
Also not poison.
也没毒。
Pan is on medium low and you do want to make sure there are specks of tomato soup all over the stove top before you begin.
开中低火，确保开始煎三明治之前灶台上到处都是溅出来的番茄汤油点子。
And we're just going to be patient here.
然后要耐心等锅热。
You can put a lid on top if you want, but just don't cook it too hot so the cheese has time to melt before the bread has time to burn.
如果你愿意，可以盖上盖子，但不要让锅的温度太高，以免面包都烤焦了，奶酪还没融化。
And when it's done, don't put it on a plate and try to cut it.
煎完后，不要把它放在盘子里，并试图去切它。
Get it on a cutting board and take your knife, and in one smooth motion slice it.
而是要把它放在砧板上，拿起你的刀，干脆利落地把它切开。
It hurts the sandwich a lot less this way.
这样可以减轻三明治的痛苦。
By the way, if you actually making a grilled cheese, you'd be doing this.
顺便说一下，如果你真的做的是烤奶酪三明治，你会这样烤。
But you're not, you're pan frying and you're lying about it.
但你没有，你是用平底锅煎，所以你说了假话。
And you're happy you lied about it because this is so dry and you can't taste the buttayo at all.
你很高兴你说了假话，因为直接烤的话，面包会变得干巴巴的，而且根本尝不出来蛋黄油酱。
And so you don't need to regret it.
所以你不需要对此感到后悔。
But if you want, you can also try the Cleveland steamed cheese, which is one of the most flavorful foods from that cuisine.
但如果你愿意，你也可以试试克利夫兰蒸奶酪，这种奶酪是最美味的。
We didn't put any cream in the soup, because it really doesn't need it.
这个汤里面没有放奶油，因为真的不需要。
But if you want, you can go right ahead.
但如果你愿意的话，也可以放一些。
You can also throw in some chopped chives.
还可以加一些切碎的细香葱。
And now it's time to submerge your sandwich in that delicious soup, which is really just a sandwich dip at this point.
现在可以把三明治浸在美味的汤里了，这个汤现在看起来真的就是三明治蘸酱。
They're so good together you're going to go.
三明治和这个汤真是绝配，吃一口你就会陶醉其中。
These are so good together.
真是太配了。
And if you want to make delicious handcrafted croutons for the soup, you can look up a tutorial on how to do that because I didn't make that.
如果你想做放在汤里的油炸面包丁，你可以查阅一下教程，因为我没做过面包丁。
