You suck at cooking, yeah you totally suck.
你的厨艺弱爆了,完全弱爆了。
Today we're making a crispy chicken sandwich, not to be confused with the Tipsy Flippin clam ditch.
今天我们做酥脆鸡肉三明治,而不是蔬菜菊芋餐巾纸。
For this chicken sandwich we're gonna use chicken, and we're gonna get it into chicken sandwich shape.
做这个三明治要用到鸡肉,首先把鸡肉处理成适合做三明治的形状。
I'm pounding it to get the thickness more uniform, so it cooks more evenly.
我在敲打它,目的是让它的厚度统一,这样能煎得更均匀。
But you can also use chicken thighs, if you want.
但你愿意的话,也可以用鸡腿。
Don't worry if it's long and falling out the sides.
如果肉有点长,两边会伸出来,也没有关系。
Your chicken doesn't have to conform to your bun the way that you conform to society, man.
鸡肉不必像你顺应社会那样顺应面包饼,兄弟。
But you can also cut off some nuggets, if you want.
但想把边缘多余的部分切掉也是可以的。
Now we're gonna make our brine with a cup of buttermilk and two teaspoons of salt.
现在做腌料,一杯脱脂牛奶和两匙盐。
Now you can put some hot sauce or other spices in here.
还可以放一些辣酱或其他调味品。
But nothing is really going to penetrate the chicken aside from the salt.
但除了盐,没有什么调料能真正把鸡肉腌入味。
So save most of your spicing for the outside, and wang-jangle it until it becomes a salty buttermilk ocean.
所以可以把大多数调料拿来涂在鸡肉表面,然后把这些搅拌均匀,直到它变成咸味的脱脂奶海洋。
Now it's up to you if you want to marinade in an above ground pool or in an IV bag.
是想在这锅泳池里腌鸡肉,还是在静脉输液袋里腌鸡肉,这都取决于你。
They both work as long as the chicken is submerged.
只要鸡肉完全浸没在腌料里,在哪里腌都行。
You can move it around every now and then.
可以时不时地翻动一下它。
But make sure it sleeps in the molecule slower downer for at least a few hours if you can.
一定要确保鸡肉在分子减速器里放置至少几个小时。
Now we'll make our dredge, also known as the chicken powder room, which is going to be 1.5 cups of flour and this doesn't have to be super accurate.
现在来做面粉,也被称为给鸡肉准备的面粉房间,要用到1.5杯面粉,数量不一定要非常准确。
You can use the pre-powdered stuff, but I prefer to grate fresh flour myself.
你可以用预制的面粉,但我更喜欢自己磨新鲜面粉。
A couple tablespoons of cornstarch for extra crispitude.
再加几勺玉米淀粉,以增加酥脆程度。
Two teaspoons of baking powder because that's what other people do and I can't think for myself.
两勺发酵粉,因为别人都是这么做的,我自己懒得思考这样做对不对。
A tablespoon or two of garlic powder and a whole bunch of cayenne if you're into pain.
如果你享受疼痛感,还可以加一两勺蒜粉或两大勺辣椒粉。
Okay, this is Chipotle powder.
好的,这其实是微辣的齐波雷辣椒粉。
But keep in mind the spices are going to have their volume turned way down once it's fried, so don't be afraid to go buck wild.
但请记住,一旦经过油炸,调味料的味道就会降低,所以加调料的时候尽管大胆点。
But also beware of cayenne's ability to hurt you.
但也要小心,因为辣椒能把你辣哭。
Now we're going to make our slaw, which starts with the only vegetable known to be made of leather.
现在做蔬菜部分,首先要用到现在已知的唯一一种由皮革制成的蔬菜。
We'll slice that as thinly as humanly possible.
尽可能地切薄一些。
You'll know if it's thin enough, if it looks cool as a hairstyle for an onion.
如果放在洋葱头上看起来很合适,就说明够细够薄了。
If you're against using leather, you can just use crispy water.
如果你反对使用皮革,那么你可以用脆水卷心菜。
Now grab a carrot and drill a hole in it to allow the juice to drain, so the coleslaw won't get soggy.
现在拿一个胡萝卜,在上面钻一个洞,把汁液排干,这样蔬菜就不会变得湿嗒嗒了。
Now we'll thinly slice this with my fancy peeler slicer thing.
现在用我那精美的削皮机把它切成薄片。
It's up to you if you want to include the carrot nougat or not.
胡萝卜芯要不要放进去,也是全看个人选择。
And now a quick creamy sauce.
现在做一份超快的奶油酱。
Mayo, sour cream and a splash of red wine vinegar to numb the pain of life.
蛋黄酱、酸奶油加一点点红酒醋,这就足以抚平生活的痛苦。
I accidentally got the low-fat sour cream, which is a crime against human decency but sometimes you have to adapt to trying circumstances and forge ahead.
我不小心拿到了低脂酸奶油,这种奶油简直是侮辱人类尊严,但有时你必须适应艰难的环境,勇往直前。
Pickles are an essential part of not only a chicken sandwich, but most every sandwich,
不仅是鸡肉三明治,几乎所有三明治当中必不可少的东西就是酸黄瓜。
unless of course you don't like pickles, in which case you can replace them with seeing a psychiatrist to figure out what's wrong with you.
除非你不喜欢酸黄瓜,在这种情况下,你可以去看看精神病医生,看看你是哪根筋不对。
I'm going to slice them into long strips, although you can also smash them into one flat pickle if you prefer.
我要把酸黄瓜切成长条,如果你愿意,也可以直接把它拍扁。
Pickles are also great for making knockoff alligator shoes for your battering ram.
酸黄瓜也很适合用来给你的公羊玩具做鳄鱼形的鞋子。
The reason pickles are so great in sandwiches is because they give you a hit of acid.
三明治里的酸黄瓜之所以如此美味,是因为它们能让你轻度致幻。(注:acid可以指迷幻药,也可以指酸的。)
I mean it gives the sandwich a bit of acidity which enhances the flavor.
我是说,它给三明治增加了一点酸度,从而让味道更鲜明。
And now it's time to dredge the chicken,
现在可以把鸡肉裹上面粉了,
but first make sure to dredge your dredge before dredging so nothing ends up in your chicken that you'd prefer to stay out of your chicken.
但首先要在裹面粉之前把面粉里的粉尘清走,以免把脏东西也裹进鸡肉里了。
Now you want to grab a piece of your chicken and let the buttermilk drip all inside the batter.
现在抓起一块鸡肉,把脱脂奶腌料滴到面粉里。
You want these little milk spice globules to form and stick to the chicken to create nooks and crannies and added texture once it fries.
这些液体小水滴会粘在鸡肉上,把边边角角都覆盖住,这样油炸之后口感会更好。
Go ahead and be spring break sloppy.
去吧,像放春假一样懒洋洋地躺着吧。
Just work that flowery spicy coating into the chicken until it's well covered.
把这层有调味料的面粉全粘上去,直到鸡肉上完全沾满了面粉。
And once you've got your chicken ready to go, you can gently put it into your oil, which is at 350 degrees Fahrenheit.
鸡肉准备好了,就可以轻轻地把它放进油锅里,油是350华氏度。
If you feel a fear response when making this, it might be a residual memory from being called chicken when you were a child,
如果你在做这一步的时候感到恐惧,可能是你想起来了小时候大家都说你是个弱鸡,
or it might be your recognition that hot oil is extremely dangerous and needs to be used with care, which is why you'll find a link in the description about all the oil safety stuff you need to know if you're going to try this.
也可能是你意识到热油极其危险,需要小心使用,因此你可以在简介里找到一个链接,里面提供了你需要知道的所有关于热油的安全知识。
So please check it out.
请一定要查看。
Some say crispiness is an inside job and you can't have crispy chicken with a soggy heart.
有人说,要想鸡肉酥脆,主要是看鸡肉里面,鸡肉最里面是软趴趴的,就不算酥脆炸鸡。
Those people are dumb.
那些人都是笨蛋。
We'll let this cook for around four minutes until it has a fever of 165 degrees Fahrenheit.
把鸡肉炸四分钟左右,直到它升温到165华氏度。
I've got a thin squeezable potato bun here because my philosophy with buns is that they should hold the sandwich together.
这里有一个薄薄的可挤压的面包胚,因为我对面包胚的理念是,面包应该能把三明治里的东西都夹住。
But otherwise get the f** out of the way.
但如果不是用来做三明治,这种面包就可以滚得远远的了。
Okay come back. I need you. I'm sorry. I was wrong.
好的,回来吧。我需要你,对不起。我错了。
I'm just gonna fry the bun to get a mildly golden brown, and don't forget to knock your wang-jangler onto the floor.
把面包煎成淡淡的金黄色,同时别忘了把你的搅拌器碰倒并掉在地上。
If you're on keto, you can take your bun and just do this. Perfect.
如果你在吃生酮饮食不能吃碳水,你可以这样处理面包。完美。
And now it's time to assemble, starting with the spicy mayo on both sides of the bun.
现在可以组装三明治了,首先把两块面包上都涂上辣椒蛋黄酱。
Look, I'm just a person with a very high sauce threshold.
看到没有,我对酱料的涂抹要求很高的。
Now I'll add our protective pickle layer.
现在把酸黄瓜放上去,作为保护层。
Add on that crispy chicken.
在放上酥脆鸡肉。
We'll top that with our coleslaw, which along with the mayo and chicken makes for a real creamy crispy crusty contrast.
然后上面放上菜叶,这就和蛋黄酱、鸡肉形成了细腻、清脆、酥脆的三重不同口感。
And then we'll throw the spicy mayo bun sealing on top, completing our chicken sandwich puzzle.
最后把涂了辣味蛋黄酱的面包放在上面封顶,鸡肉三明治拼图就完成了。
Is this the crispiest sandwich in the history of chicken sandwiches?
这是鸡肉三明治史上最酥脆的三明治吗?
No.
不是的。
But is it the tastiest best chicken sandwich ever made?
但这是有史以来最美味最棒的鸡肉三明治吗?
No. It's not.
不,这不是。
But is it a really good chicken sandwich that you'll probably enjoy and maybe it'll be your favorite?
但它是一种真的很棒的、你可能会喜欢的、也许是你最爱的鸡肉三明治吗?
Um, I'm not sure.
呃,这不好说。