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A husband comes home with a huge check for the month, but his wife isn't happy.
丈夫带着一个月的大支票回家，但是他的妻子却不高兴。
She thinks, "I didn't get any attention the entire month so that he could bring home this check?"
她在想，“他整个月都没有关心我，就是为了带这张支票回家吗？”
He thinks, "I worked hard the entire month, so that I could bring home this check and make us happy,
他觉得，“我整个月都努力工作，所以我可以把这个支票带回家，让我们都高兴一下，
and she doesn’t appreciate it."
但是她一点也不领情。”
This has become the standard narrative in relationships,
这已经成为男女关系中的标配叙述，
and simply stems from ignorance about how men and women assign points.
这源于对男女不同评价标准的忽视。
Think of these as, I guess, happiness points.
就把这当做，我想，当做幸福值来考虑吧。
If Britney gets one video game for Bill, he assigns that one point.
如果布兰妮送给比尔一款视频游戏，他打一分。
If Britney were to get him ten video games, he would be really, really happy and assign it ten points.
如果布兰妮送他十款视频游戏，他可能会真的真的非常高兴，给打十分。
But what Bill doesn't realize is that the opposite is not true for how Britney assigns points.
但是比尔不明白的是，反过来布兰妮的打分方式却不是这样的。
If Bill gets Britney one rose on his way home, that will be one point for her.
如果比尔在回家的路上给布兰妮一朵玫瑰，她只会给一分。
If Bill got ten roses for Britney, guess what, it would still be one, just one point.
如果比尔给布兰妮十朵玫瑰，猜会怎样，还是一分，只有一分。
Maybe if he got fifty roses, then it would be two points,
可能如果他送五十朵玫瑰的话，会有两分，
but the big idea is that she assigns points very differently.
但重要的是她对分值的分配方式非常不同。
Little things are assigned just as much value as big things.
小事情拥有和大事情一样的价值。
I can make my girlfriend her favorite coffee in the morning, send her a flirty text on lunch break,
我会在早上给女友准备好她爱的咖啡，午休的时候给她发消息，
come home and show her how excited I am to see her and give her a kiss,
回家后表现出我见到她是多么兴奋，并亲吻她，
and she will be much happier than if I had completely disregarded her feminine need,
她会比我完全忽视她的女性需求，
and simply brought home an expensive gift at the end of the day.
只是单纯的在一天结束时带回家昂贵的礼物要更加高兴。
Now with this said, let's address that one guy.
这么说的话，让我们来讨论一下某人。
There is always that one guy who tells me,
总有那么一个人告诉我，
"What you say sounds nice but you’re wrong, that’s not what girls really want."
“你说的很棒，但是你不对，女孩真正想要的不是那些。”
The problem isn't that what we're telling him is wrong.
问题不是我们告诉他的是错的。
The problem is that he can't do the little things meaningfully.
问题是他不肯去做一些有意义的小事。
His kiss actually does not generate that one point for her.
他的吻实际上对她来说没有产生一分的效果。
None of his little attentions do because he has no understanding of the feminine.
他小小的关心也无法获得一分，因为他根本不懂女性。
So, guess what, the girl is obviously going to pick a gift or whatever, that is at least guaranteed to give her a point.
所以猜猜看，女孩明显会选择至少能让她获得一分的礼物或东西。
It also becomes obvious that she isn't with him for the right reasons,
也很明显，她和他在一起并不合适，
but then again, they will both settle for now, until their next co-dependently mediocre relationship.
但他们暂时依然会好好相处，直到各自再与其他人进入一段互相依赖的普通关系。
