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如何赢得朋友和影响他人

来源:可可英语 编辑:Jenny   可可英语APP下载 |  可可官方微信:ikekenet

When I meet a person and he tells me he plays the violin, I become fascinated.

当我遇到一个拉小提琴的人,我就着迷了。
The first thing I want to do is hear him play.
要做的第一件事就是听他演奏。
When I meet a person and he tells me he’s a painter, I instantly want to see his paintings.
当我遇到一个画家,就立刻想欣赏他的画作。
I want to ask him what he paints about, what his lifestyle is like.
我想知道他画的是什么,他的生活方式是什么样的。
I want to ask him why my paintings look like I’m five years old.
我想问问他为什么我的画作看上去那么幼稚。
If I meet a doctor, I instantly want him to tell me about his craziest patient stories.
如果碰到一个医生,我立刻想让他告诉我他最疯狂的病人的故事。
I want to know what his schedule is like. I want to know how that affects his family.
我想知道他的日程是什么样的。想知道那对他的家庭有何影响。
But was I always like this? NO! I used to be interested in only one sport, one instrument, one profession, one everything.
但我总是那样吗?不!我曾经只对一种运动,一种乐器,一种职业,统统都只对一种感兴趣。
And it was obviously the one thing that I did.
而我所做的事情就是我感兴趣的东西。
If I didn’t do something, it couldn’t possibly have value or be interesting.
如果我不做些什么,就不会有价值,也不会有乐趣。
I would sit there and pretend I was listening when all I really did
我就会坐在那里假装倾听,其实我是在
was think about the things I was going to say when the other person was done.
考虑别人说完之后我要说些什么。
And once the person was done, I would unload all my really interesting and important stuff onto them.
一旦别人说完,我会把所有我真正感兴趣和重要的事情说给他们听。
If your social interactions suffer, one of the biggest reasons might be this.
如果你的社会交际出现问题,一大原因可能就是这个。
You need to become genuinely interested in other people.
你需要真正地对别人感兴趣。
By doing this, you will create a beautiful variety in your life,
这样你会在生活中创造出美丽的多样性,
and also have great social experiences because you won’t be sitting there
也会有很棒的社会经历,因为你不会坐在那里
creepily excited about what you’re going to say when the person is done talking.
对你即将在别人讲话结束后要说的事情感到兴奋。
Do you ever meet a person, and almost everything he says is wrong?
你有没有遇到过这么一个人,几乎他说的所有事情都是错误的?
As an economist, this happens to me all the time.
作为一个经济学家,这种事情经常发生在我身上。
I used to confront it, and I never really changed anyone,
我经常会反驳他们,也从来没有真正的改变任何人,
but I did create a lot of unnecessary arguments and hostility.
但我确实制造了很多没有必要的争议和敌意。
Telling a minimum wage worker about the inefficiencies caused by the minimum wage won’t get you too far.
告诉一个低收入的工人他的低工资导致了低效率对你没有任何好处。

如何赢得朋友和影响他人

Trust me on that. There are settings where you could do this,

相信我。有一些情况你可以这么做,
but in general... you simply show respect for the other man’s opinion.
但通常来说…你只需要尊重别人的意见就可以了。
And you never tell a man he’s wrong.
永远不要告诉别人他是错的。
Now, the next little milestone that I have set for myself is to reach 1,000 subscribers to my channel.
我为自己设立的下一个小里程碑是我的频道要达到1000个订阅用户。
However, would I ever make the mistake of approaching my viewers from that perspective? NO!
然而,我会从那个角度去接近我的观众吗,我会犯那样的错误吗?不!
If I came to you and said, “Hey, everyone! I’m trying to get to 1,000 subscribers.
如果我对你说,“嘿,大家好!我尝试达到1000个订阅用户。
Please subscribe to me!” That doesn’t mean anything to you.
请订阅我吧!”那对你没有任何意义。
My social IQ would be non-existent in that case. Yet, look around. Most people do exactly that.
在那种情况下我的社会智商为零。但是,纵观周围,大多数人都在那么做。
So instead, how do I approach you?
那么取而代之,我会怎么接近你呢?
Well, if you’re watching this video, it’s pretty safe to assume that you are interested in self-improvement ideas.
如果你在观看这个视频,假设你对自我提升的观点感兴趣,这是相当靠谱的。
Then, in the best possible way I can, I present to you an idea that can really impact you.
那么,我所能做的最好的方式,就是给你呈现一个可以真正对你产生影响的观点。
After I have done all this, I tell you, “If you want to see more big ideas when they come out, you can subscribe.”
这样做之后,我告诉你,“如果你想在发布的时候看到更多的好观点,可以订阅”
Now, if these are the ideas that you’re interested in, and assuming that I did a decent job at presenting them,
现在,如果这些都是你感兴趣的观点,又假设我做了很好的展示,
the chances of your subscribing increase dramatically.
你订阅的机会就会大大提高。
This is called talking in terms of the other man’s interest.
这就是所谓的根据别人的兴趣来开展讨论。
Carnegie uses a great metaphor for this.
卡耐基用了一个很棒的比喻来形容这个。
He says, “If you were going fishing, you wouldn’t take cherries as bait.”
他说,“如果去钓鱼,你不能用樱桃当鱼饵。”
Yet, we do this all the time. It’s absolutely ridiculous.
但是,我们一直都在这么做。太荒唐了。
And then we complain about how anyone could pick worms over cherries.
然后我们就抱怨为什么会有人宁愿选择虫子也不用樱桃呢?
You have to talk in terms of the other man’s interest, if you’re to going to influence anyone.
如果你想影响别人的话,就需要根据别人的兴趣来探讨。
Anyway, these are just the three big ideas that I use all the time from How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie.
无论如何,这只是我从戴尔·卡耐基《如何赢得朋友和影响他人》一书中看到的并且一直在用的三个主要观点,
I’m sure most of you who are into self-improvement have already read this book and not just once either,
我相信大多数乐于自我提升的人不止一次的读过这本书,,
but if you haven’t, definitely read it because there are so many other cool ideas in the book.
如果你还没读过,一定要读因为书中还有很多其他很酷的观点。

重点单词   查看全部解释    
decent ['di:snt]

想一想再看

adj. 体面的,正派的,得体的,相当好的

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hostility [hɔs'tiliti]

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n. 敌意,敌对状态,公开战争

 
bait [beit]

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n. 饵,引诱
vt. 嘲笑,纵犬攻击,以饵引

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approach [ə'prəutʃ]

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n. 接近; 途径,方法
v. 靠近,接近,动

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milestone ['mailstəun]

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n. 里程碑

 
absolutely ['æbsəlu:tli]

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adv. 绝对地,完全地;独立地

 
unnecessary [ʌn'nesisəri]

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adj. 不必要的,多余的

 
violin [.vaiə'lin]

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n. 小提琴

 
impact ['impækt,im'pækt]

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n. 冲击(力), 冲突,影响(力)
vt.

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instrument ['instrumənt]

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n. 乐器,工具,仪器,器械

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