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Joey: Morning, roomier!
室友早！
Rachel: Hey! You remembered to put clothes on this morning.
嘿！今天早上你记得穿上衣服了。
Joey: Fifth day's a charm.
第五天终于记得了。
Rachel: Oh, Joey, it's so great to be back here. I gotta tell you, you're making it so easy on me and Emma.
能够搬回来真好，你帮了我跟艾玛一个大忙。
Joey: Hey, it's great having you back. You know, stay as long as you want, and when does she stop crying all night?
你能够搬回来也真好。你要待多久就待多久。她是什么时候才不会哭一整晚呢？
Ross: Hey, you're not naked!
嘿！你没有光着屁股！
Ross: So, hey, Raych, when-when will we expect to see you tonight?
瑞秋，你今晚什么时候会回来？
Rachel: Well, I'll probably be back to pick her up around six, but she's in the bedroom all ready to go.
大概六点吧，她在房间里已经准备好了。
Rachel: But she did actually fall back to sleep, so...
她又睡着了，所以……
Joey: She's probably exhausted from all that adorable screaming she did last night.
可能是因昨晚美妙的哭声而累坏了。
Rachel: Bye!
再见！
Ross: Bye!
再见！
Ross: Hey, I hope Emma isn't making it too hard on you.
嘿，我希望艾玛没有带来太多麻烦。
Joey: No, hey, it's been great.
没，嘿，一切都很好。
Ross: Yeah?
是嘛？
Joey: Yeah. And look, I just want you to know that with Rachel staying here and everything, all my feelings from before are totally over, ok?
我只想让你知道，虽然瑞秋住在这边，但是我之前对她的感觉早就已经没了，好吗？
Joey: And even if they weren't, when you accidentally walk in on a woman using a breast pump...
即使本来还有，当你看到一个女人用吸奶器……
Ross: Yeah, that'll do it.
是啊，没错。
Joey: Wow! So how are you?
哇！那你怎样呢？
Ross: I'm, I'm ok.
不错啊。
Joey: Really?
真的吗？
Ross: Sure, I mean, you know, do I wish me and Rachel living together would've worked out?
当然，我有没有希望过和瑞秋快乐地住在一起？
Ross: Of course. You know, I'm disappointed, but it's not like uh, it's a divorce.
当然有。你知道的，我是有点失望，但是这又不像是离婚。
Joey: Well, actually it...
嗯，事实上这……
Ross: No, it's not a divorce, it is not a divorce!
这不是离婚，这不是离婚！
Ross: Anyway, I think Rachel and I need to, you know, get on with our lives, maybe, maybe start seeing other people.
不管怎样，反正我认为我跟瑞秋应该要过自己的生活，或许开始跟其他人交往。
Joey: Wow, really?
哇，真的吗？
Ross: Yeah, sure, why not? In fact, if you know anyone that would be good for me...
当然，为何不呢？事实上，你有认识适合我的人吗……
Joey: Sure, I know lots of girls.
当然，我认识很多女生。
Ross: Yeah? Any names come to mind?
脑海中有浮现任何名字吗？
Joey: Ooh, names?
名字？
Phoebe: Hey.
嘿。
Joey: Hey.
嗨。
Joey: I was just gonna get something to eat. You want something?
我才正要吃点东西，你要吗？
Phoebe: What you got?
你有什么呢？
Joey: Ok, let's see, we got strained peas, strained carrots...Ooh! Strained plums. We haven't tried that yet.
好的，让我看看，我们有豆子泥，胡萝卜泥……喔！梅子泥。我们还没有试过这个。
Phoebe: Goody!
好棒！
Phoebe: Thanks.
谢谢。
Phoebe: So, how is it living with Rachel again?
跟瑞秋再住一起如何呢？
Phoebe: I mean, apart from the great food?
我是说，除了有很多好吃的之外？
Joey: I'm fine, I'm fine, it's just, it's just weird what's happening with her and Ross.
很好，很好，只是，只是她跟罗斯之间真的是很诡异。
Joey: You know, yesterday he asked me to fix him up with somebody.
昨天他要我介绍女生给他。
Phoebe: Oh my God, Rachel asked me if I knew anyone for her, too.
瑞秋也问我有没有男生可以介绍给她。
Joey: Why are they doing this?
他们为什么要这样呢？
Phoebe: I don't know. They're so perfect for each other; it's crazy.
不知道，他们彼此再适合不过了，真是神经。
Joey: You know what's crazy?
你知道什么才神经？
Joey: These jars. What is it, like two bites in here?
这些罐子？才两口就没了？
Phoebe: I just wish they'd realize they should be together.
我只希望他们可以发现，彼此是适合在一起的。
Joey: I know, I know. And when they moved back in together, I figured you know, that's where things were headed.
当他们一起住时，我以为事情就解决了。
Phoebe: I know. They should be a family.
他们应该是一家人。
Phoebe: They should get married and have more children.
结婚生更多的小孩。
Joey: Yes. And they should name one of their kids Joey.
是啊，而且该把其中一个取名叫乔伊。
Joey: Hey, I may not have kids. Someone's gotta carry on the family name.
我或许不会有小孩，总是要有人帮我传承家族姓氏吧。
Phoebe: You know what?
你知道吗？
Phoebe: Maybe once they start dating, and they see what's out there, they'll realize how good they are for each other.
或许他们一旦开始，跟别人约会，知道别人是怎样的，他们就会发现彼此是多么适合。
Joey: Yeah, because it is slim pickings.
是啊，因为他俩真是绝配啊。
Joey: I had this date last night: Yuck!
我昨晚约会的女生遭透了，讨厌！
Joey: But we should probably keep it down, she's still in the bedroom.
但是应该要说小声一点，她还在房间里面。
Phoebe: So, what are we gonna do? Are we just gonna go ahead and set them up with people?
那我们该怎么做呢？我们要帮他们介绍人吗？
Joey: I know; that just pushes them further and further apart.
我知道，这样只会使他们渐行渐远。
Phoebe: Yeah...
是啊……
Phoebe: Oh, I know what we can do.
我知道要怎么做了。
Phoebe: We could set Ross and Rachel up on horrible dates, so that they'll realize how good they are together.
我们可以帮罗斯跟瑞秋介绍可怕的人，让他们发觉彼此是很好的。
Joey: Ooh, that's a great plan!
真是好计划！
Phoebe: Yeah,
没错。
Phoebe: you know what the best part of it is? I get to do my "plan-laugh."
你知道最棒的是什么吗？我可以来个计划成功之笑。
Joey: Shhh! Not so loud, we don't wanna wake her up, uh...
好了，嘘！不要那么大声 不要吵醒……
Rachel: Hey!
嗨！
Monica: Hey!
嗨！
Rachel: Well you guys aren't doing anything tonight, are you?
你们今晚没有计划，对吗？
Chandler: See, now, why would you assume that? Just because we're married?
为什么你那样以为呢？就因为我们已经结婚了吗？
Chandler: I mean will have you know that we are very hip, happening people.
我是说，我要让你知道，我们是非常时髦好玩的人。
Chandler: Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to reading the obituaries.
现在不好意思，我要继续看报上的死亡新闻了。
Rachel: I was just asking 'cause I need someone to watch Emma tonight.
我会问是因为今晚我需要有人帮我带艾玛。
Monica: Sure, we'll do that. What are you up to?
我们当然可以。你要做什么呢？
Rachel: Well, Phoebe set me up on a date.
嗯，菲比帮我安排了一个约会。
Monica: Oh my God.
喔，我的天。
Chandler: Wow.
哇哦。
Rachel: Why? What's the big deal?
为什么？有什么不对吗？
Monica: Well, I just figured, cause you and Ross are...
我以为你跟罗斯是……
Rachel: What, slept together a year and a half ago? Yeah, I'm all set.
是怎样？一年半前上过床吗？是啊，那我就全搞定了。
Chandler: Well, I think it's great that you're going on a date, you know? I mean, it sounds healthy. I mean, you have needs. Embrace your womanhood!
我认为你能够去约会是件好事，我是说，听起来很健康。我是说你有你的需要，面对你的女性特质吧！
Monica: You want a job? Turn off "Oprah," and send out a résumé!
你要找工作吗？关掉奥普拉脱口秀，然后去寄履历表！
Rachel: So I'll bring her by around seven? Is that ok?
我七点左右带她过来？好吗？
Monica: Oh, it's perfect.
太棒了。
Rachel: Oh, you guys are gonna have so much fun! She's at such a cute age.
你们会很开心的，她现在正是可爱的时候。
Rachel: Oh, a couple things. Now that she's eating solid food, she poops around the clock.
有几件事，现在她会吃固体食物了，所以会按时排便。
Rachel: And watch out for your hair, 'cause she likes to grab it. And oh,
还有小心你的头发，因为她喜欢抓。
Rachel: She's also in this phase where if you leave the room, she screams, bloody murder, but...Thanks, you guys. Have fun.
这时期的她还会在你离开房间的时候大叫，但是……谢谢你们，祝你们玩的开心。
Chandler: Suddenly I, wish I was reading my own name.
突然间，我希望自己的名字在上面。
Phoebe: Ooh, Joey.
喔，乔伊。
Joey: Hey.
嘿。
Phoebe: Hey. I'm so excited;
嘿。我好兴奋。
Phoebe: I just set up Rachel with the worst guy tonight.
我帮瑞秋约了一个最糟糕的男生。
Joey: All right! Who is he?
好的，是谁呢？
Joey: It's a guy I used to massage. By "massage" I mean hold down so he wouldn't turn over and flash me.
是我曾经按摩过的一个男的，而“按摩”时我得按住他，让他不能转身冲我露出来。
Joey: Ok, ok. Wait till you hear who I got for Ross.
等你听听我介绍谁给罗斯再说吧。
Phoebe: Oh, yeah.
喔，好啊。
Joey: Ok, she's this really boring woman. She's a teacher!
她真是个很无趣的女人，她是个老师！
Phoebe: A teacher?
老师？
Joey: Yeah, yeah, she's really into history and foreign movies...
她喜欢历史跟外国影片……
Joey: Oh, oh, and she loves puzzles. Huh?
而且她喜欢猜谜游戏，哈？
Come on, who loves puzzles?
拜托，谁会喜欢猜谜游戏呢？
Phoebe: Well, Ross does.
嗯，罗斯喜欢啊。
Phoebe: What...You're-you're ruining the plan!
你毁了计划了！
Phoebe: Joey, you've-you've fixed him up with his perfect woman!
乔伊，你把他的天生另一半介绍给他了！
Joey: Oh my God, you're right!
我的天，你说的没错！
Phoebe: Yeah.
是啊。
Phoebe: She even reads for pleasure!
她甚至还喜欢读书！
Phoebe: How do you even know a woman like that?
你怎么会认识那种女人呢？
Joey: What-what? I'm not allowed to know smart women?
我不能认识聪明的女人吗？
Phoebe: Joey.
乔伊。
Joey: I met her at the library. I went in to pee.
在图书馆，我进去上厕所时认识的。
Phoebe: So now what do we do?
那我们现在该怎么办呢？
Joey: Well, ok, I'll-I'll just call her and tell her the date's cancelled, and find him somebody else.
嗯，好吧，我打电话跟她说取消，然后再找别人。
Phoebe: What if we don't find him somebody else?
要是我们找不到别人呢？
Phoebe: We'll just tell her the date's off but we don't tell Ross. He'll go to the restaurant and get stood up.
我们只要跟她说约会取消了，但是不要跟罗斯说，他会去餐厅等，然后被放鸽子。
Joey: Ooh...Oh I hear that's bad.
噢唔……真是太坏心了。
Phoebe: Ooh, so this is great! Oh, Rachel's gonna have a terrible date, Ross gets stood up, and then they'll realize how good they have it together.
太棒了！瑞秋会有个很糟糕的约会，罗斯被放鸽子，然后他们会发现，对方才是最好的。
Joey: Ah, yes, the Plan!
是的，好计划！
Phoebe: It's not Santa's plan.
这不是圣诞老公公的计划。
Phoebe: No, it's...
不，这是……
Joey: Yeah, you know, it's not that fun.
你知道吗？不太好玩了。
Phoebe: No, I think we killed it.
是不好玩，我们弄僵了。
Chandler: Emma? Emma? Look at me!
艾玛？艾玛？瞧瞧我！
Chandler: Well, I think I'll go downstairs for a while.
嗯，我想我要下楼一下子。
Chandler: No, no, no! It's okay! It's okay! I didn't go!
不！没关系！没关系！我没有去！
Chandler: Don't cry, it's just a bit! I'm your Uncle Chandler. Funny is all I have!
别哭，我是开玩笑的！我是你的钱德姑丈，我只会搞笑啊！
Monica: Ok, just so you know, I'm gonna be ovulating from tomorrow until the sixth,
好了，让你知道一下，我从明天开始到六号都在排卵。
Monica: So don't touch yourself for the next 48 hours.
所以接下来的四十八小时你可别自慰。
Chandler: I don't do that. I'll try to stop. Wait, did you say until the sixth?
我不自慰的。我会试着克制自己。你是说到六号吗？
Monica: Yeah.
是啊。
Chandler: Today is the 6th.
今天就是六号。
Monica: No, it's not.
不，不是。
Chandler: Yes, it's also 2003.
是的，而且是2003年。
Monica: Oh, my God. Today's the 6th?
我的天，今天是六号？
Monica: I may be done ovulating!
我可能已经排完了！
Monica: I may have also served some very questionable meat at the restaurant.
我在餐厅做的肉类，或许都很有问题。
Chandler: It's ok. Go take the test, see if we're ok.
去做测试，看是不是还好。
Monica: Ok.
好的。
Chandler: Tough crib.
定力不错啊。
Monica: Hey, where are all my ovulation sticks? There's only one here.
嘿，我其他的排卵测试剂呢？只剩下一个了。
Monica: I might have checked to see if I was ovulating a couple times.
我可能拿了几个测试看我是不是有排卵。
Monica: Chandler!
钱德！
Chandler: I'm not working! There's not much to do around here!
我没有工作！没事做很痛苦的！
Ross: Sorry. Hey, would you, you want a roll with that or?
抱歉，还需要面包吗？
Ross: Excuse me, um, I'm sorry, is there a woman waiting at the bar?
不好意思，有没有一个女人在吧台那边等人呢？
Ross: Um, someone average height, dark hair, perhaps doing a puzzle?
不高不矮，黑发？可能在玩猜谜游戏？
Waiter: Uh, there's a drunk Chinese guy.
是有个喝醉的中国人。
Ross: Well, if I'm still here in an hour, buy him a drink on me.
嗯，如果我一小时之后还在这里，帮我请他喝一杯。
Waiter: Can I get you another glass of wine?
您要不要再点一杯酒呢？
Ross: I don't know if I should. I don't want to be drunk when I go home alone tonight.
我不知道应不应该，不想喝到醉醺醺的，然后今晚独自回家。
Waiter: Got stood up, huh?
被放鸽子了，是吗？
Ross: Yeah, it's no big deal. It's just a blind date.
没有什么，只不过是跟陌生人约会。
Waiter: Are you worried your date came, saw you, and left?
你担心那个女的一来，看到你就走了吗？
Ross: No!
不！
Monica: We're ok. I'm still ovulating.
还好，我还在排卵。
Chandler: Oh, good, because as of four o'clock this afternoon, I am not.
很好，因为今天下午四点的时候，我没有在排卵。
Monica: So, let's do this.
那我们来进行吧。
Chandler: I-I don't think I can.
我想我没办法。
Monica: Oh come on.
喔，别这样。
Monica: I know you're not eighteen anymore, but give it a minute.
我知道你不是十八岁了，但是给它一点时间啊。
Chandler: Because of Emma.
因为艾玛的原因。
Monica: Oh my God, Emma. Oh, sweetie, I forgot you were here.
天啊，艾玛。亲爱的，我忘记你在这里了。
Monica: Oh, you're right, we can't do this. We can't leave her alone.
你是对的，我们不能这样做，我们不能单独留她在这里。
Chandler: Sorry.
对不起。
Monica: Unless... Maybe we do it here.
除非……或许我们可以在这里做。
Monica: I mean, how much can she even be aware of at this age?
我是说，她这个年纪懂什么呢？
Chandler: Well, she's aware when we leave the room. She may notice if we start...canoodling in it.
我们离开房间她都知道，或许她也会注意到我们……在亲热。
Monica: Canoodling?
亲热？
Chandler: Well, I can't say "hump" or "screw" in front of the B-A-B-Y.
嗯，我总不能在一个娃娃面前说……做爱或是上床吧。
Monica: I don't know. I mean, I guess having sex in front of a baby isn't so...
我不知道，我想在婴儿面前做爱不是很……
Chandler: Horrifying? Scarring?
可怕？吓人？
Chandler: Something people go to jail for?
没有人因此而坐牢？
Monica: I guess you're right.
我想你说的对。
Chandler: You guess I'm right?
你想？
Chandler: When we stayed at that bed and breakfast, you wouldn't have sex with me because you thought a deer was staring through the window.
住在旅馆的时候，我们没做爱，因为你认为有只鹿站在窗外看。
Monica: But what kind of a sick bastard wants to do it in front of a deer?
什么样变态的人想要在一只鹿面前做爱呢？
Rachel: Wow, everything looks so good! I think I'm gonna have the chicken.
哇，每样东西看起来都很好吃！我想我要点鸡肉。
Steve: I-I just have to say this; you're really beautiful.
我必须要这么说；你真的很漂亮。
Rachel: Oh, well, that's-that's very sweet. Thank you. I'm kind of funny-looking.
哇，这真是贴心，谢谢你。我长得有点好笑。
Rachel: What?
什么？
Steve: Oh, come on, you're way out of my league. Everybody in here knows it.
听着，我是说少来了，你不是我可以高攀的起的。这里每个人都看得出来。
Steve: Bet that guy over there's probably saying, "Ooh, why she's with him? He must be rich!" Well, I'm not.
我敢说那边那个男的 能在想，“为什么她会跟他出来呢？他一定是很有钱！”可是，我并不有钱。
