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Ross: Hi! I uh, I couldn't help but notice, Ah, that's-that's an unusual necklace.
嗨，我不得不注意到你特别的项链。
Woman: You already hit on me an hour ago.
你一个小时前就来搭讪过了。
Ross: Right, so that's a firm "no".
没错，所以确定不要吗？
Ross: I don't believe this, I just keep striking out.
我不敢相信，我一直被拒绝。
Chandler: I don't get it either,
我也不敢相信，
Chandler: I mean you're obviously desperate, you're asking women how they wanna be killed.
我是说，很明显地你是很饥渴了，你问女人她们想要如何死法。
Ross: Oh, this is great. Rachel's gonna keep kissing guys until she finds the one she wants and I'm-I'm gonna die alone.
太棒了，瑞秋继续去亲男人，直到她找到她想要的男人，而我将孤单地死去。
Chandler: By drowning or...?
是淹死还是……？
Michelle: Why would he break up with me?
他为什么要跟我分手呢？
Her friend: I don't know sweetie.
我不知道，亲爱的。
Michelle: All I ever wanted was just love him and have him love me back.
我要的只不过是爱他，希望他也爱我。
Michelle: I mean, am I so unlovable?
我是说，我有这么不值得爱吗？
Chandler: Wow.
哇。
Ross: I know!
我知道！
Mike: All right, that was Kenneth with his much too literal rendition of "I touch myself".
好了，以上是肯尼所带来的即兴表演“我自摸”。
Mike: Coming up next we've got Monica singing "Delta Dawn".
接下来是莫妮卡演唱“破晓时分”。
Monica: But wait wait! I can't sing in front of all these people.
等等！我不能在这些人面前唱。
Phoebe: Well just pretend they're not even here!
假装他们不在！
Phoebe: It's OK once that spotlight hits you it so bright you won't see anyone anyway.
没关系的。一旦聚光灯照到你，会很亮的，反正你也看不到任何人。
Monica: Hi! I'm Monica and I'm going to be singing Delta Dawn.
嗨！我是莫妮卡，我要唱的是“破晓时分”。
Phoebe: Can you totally see through her shirt?
你可以看穿她的上衣吗？
Mike: Like an X-Ray.
像X光一样。
Mike: Bad day not to wear a bra.
今天不是不穿内衣的好日子。
Chandler: I'm calling about the advertising job?
我打来询问广告工作的。
Chandler: Yes, I realize it would be entry level.
是的，我了解这是基层职务。
Chandler: Oh, so would I actually have to wear the chicken suit?
喔，所以我真的要穿小鸡装吗？
Joey: Hey, I need your help.
嘿，我需要你的帮忙。
Chandler: Wow, it seems serious.
哇，看起来很严重。
Chandler: What seems to be the problem, Ashley Judd?
是怎么了呢？艾什莉·贾德（好莱坞女星）？
Joey: Ok look, I'll get new headshot taken, all right? So I went to get my eyebrows shaped.
我要照新的大头照，所以我去修了眉毛。
Chandler: I am sorry, moment to make fun of that, please!
很抱歉，让我笑一下吧！
Joey: I may be a sissy but I still pound you into the ground.
我看起来可能娘娘腔的，但是我还是可以海扁你的。
Joey: All right. Look, it hurt so bad, I could only let her do one eyebrow, and now... they don't match!
好吧，听着，好痛喔，我只能让她做一边 所以就……两边不对称了！
Chandler: It's like a baby caterpillar chasing its mama!
就像是毛毛虫宝宝在追妈妈一样！
Joey: All right, look, you gotta help me out, ok? Look, I have a magic marker, I want you to fill in the skinny one so I don't look stupid for my pictures.
你得要帮我，好吗？看，我有马克笔，帮我把细的这边划粗照起相来才不会很蠢。
Chandler: Ok. First of all, this is green!
好的，但是，首先这是绿色的！
Joey: Aw! Oh what the hell am I supposed to do!
我他妈的该怎么办呢！
Chandler: All right, I will help you out, but you have to promise me you will not tell anyone what I am about to tell you.
我会帮你的，但是你要答应我，不会把我要告诉你的事说出去。
Joey: What, what?
什么事？什么事？
Joey: Okay.
好了。
Chandler: you know how most kids get their allowance from mowing the lawn or taking out the garbage, well, I earned mine by plucking the eyebrows of my father and his "business" partners.
你知道大部分的小孩都是利用除草或是倒垃圾什么的……来赚取零用钱，而我赚零用钱的方式就是帮我父亲，还有他的“合伙人”拔眉毛。
Joey: Oh my God!
喔，我的天！
Chandler: Yeah, well, I guess you don't need my help Victor Victoria!
好的，我猜你不需要我的帮忙了 “双面俏佳人”！
Joey: Ok all right, no, no, no, no, I do, I do, I do, I need your help, but Chandler I don't know if I can take anymore plucking. It hurts so bad!
不、不、不，我要，我要 我需要你的帮忙，但是钱德，我不知道能不能再忍受拔毛，真的好痛！
Chandler: Oh, not with my combination of ice cubes, Aloe vera and my gentle self-loathing touch.
放心，有我的冰块跟芦荟配方，加上……连自己也厌恶的温柔接触。
Monica: I am sorry, the song is over. Did you see me out there?
我很抱歉，歌唱完了。你有看到我在上面吗？
Phoebe: Every little bit of you!
全身上下看通透！
Monica: I-I can't believe I did it. I can't believe I'm singing for the people, and they liked me!
我不敢相信我在大家面前唱歌，而且他们喜欢我！
Monica: Hey, did you hear that one guy shouting "look at those tips"!
你们有听到还有人大喊 “瞧瞧那些小费（意同乳头）”吗？
Monica: I mean, did I really help you get a lot of tips?
我是说，我有帮你多赚小费吗？
Mike: Sure.
当然有。
Phoebe: Ok, Mon, not that you didn't sound good. Monica: Good?
莫妮卡，不是说你唱的不好…… 不好？
Monica: Didn't you hear them...I was great!
你没有听到他们的叫声吗？我棒透了！
Monica: Oh, thank you so much for making me do this. That's is the best gift, ever.
谢谢你逼我这样做，这是我有过最好的礼物了。
Mike: Also a good gift? Underwear.
内衣也会是好礼物。
Michelle: Thank you so much for letting me do this.
谢谢你让我过来。
Michelle: Public bathrooms freak me out, I can't even pee, let alone do anything else.
公共厕所让我觉得很恶心，我根本没有办法上厕所，更别说其他的。
Ross: But, what's great is you don't mind talking about it.
但是更棒的是，你根本不介意说出来。
Michelle: God, it's so amazing that I met you on the same day that Eric broke up with me, cause it's like you lose a boyfriend, you get a boyfriend.
这真是太神奇了，在我跟艾瑞克分手的这一天，我就遇见了你，这就是，失去一个男朋友又得到一个男朋友。
Ross: Uh-ah!
啊哈！
Michelle: No-no-no don't worry, this is not some rebound thing. I am totally over Eric.
你不用担心，这不是替补疗伤法，我已经完全不爱艾瑞克了。
Ross: Pfew. Good choice Ross.
挑的真好，罗斯。
Rachel: Oh, hey! Hi, there you are, I've been looking for you everywhere!
嘿，嗨，你在家，我到处在找你！
Ross: Oh, yeah, hello, well, here, here I am.
嘿，我在家。
Rachel: Hey, listen, my mum is not bringing the baby back until nine o'clock.
我妈到九点才会把孩子带过来。
Rachel: So, I was hoping you and I could have a chance to kinda talk? Somebody here?
所以我希望，我们可以有机会谈谈？有人在这里吗？
Ross: Oh, yeah, yeah, that's Michelle.
是的，是蜜雪儿。
Rachel: Who?
谁？
Ross: Oh, just this woman I've been seeing.
喔，是我最近在约会的女生。
Rachel: you are being seeing someone?
你有在约会？
Ross: Yeah, didn't I mention that?
是啊，我没有提过吗？
Ross: Yeah, yeah, uh-uh, I mean, we haven't being going out too long, but uh really there is this amazing connection between us.
我是说，我们并没有约会很久，但是我们之间有很奇妙的感情。
Ross: Um, I-I mean, in fact just before you came in she called me her boyfriend.
而且就在你进来之前，她才说我是她男朋友。
Ross: I thought it was a little too soon, but also, you know, felt kind of nice.
我是觉得有点太快，但是觉得也不错。
Michelle: What are you taking penicillin for?
你为什么要用青霉素呢？
Ross: How great is this? You're, you're already comfortable enough to, to look through my stuff. Oh, I am sorry Michelle, this's my roommate, Rachel.
真是太棒了，你已经可以自在的偷看我的东西了。很抱歉，蜜雪儿 这位是我室友，瑞秋。
Rachel: Hi, and I am also Emma's mother.
而且我也是艾玛的母亲。
Michelle: Ah, who is Emma?
艾玛是谁呢？
Ross: Oh, I-I, I told you about my daughter.
我跟你说过，是我的女儿。
Michelle: Ah, this is your daughter? I can be your new mummy!
这位是你女儿？我可以当你的新妈妈喔！
Chandler: And done!
好了！
Joey: Oh my God!
我的天！
Joey: I didn't feel a thing! Hey, are you still looking for a job? 'cause you can tweezers circles around that sadistic bitch at the salon.
我根本都没感觉，嘿，你还在找工作吗？你比那个美容厅的臭娘们会拔多了。
Chandler: Thanks. You wanna see what it looks like?
谢谢，想要看看吗？
Joey: Yeah, yeah. Hey, they totally match! They look great! They look great! How you doing!
好啊，对称了，很好看耶，看起来真棒！你好吗？
Chandler: Yeah, yeah, I think it looks pretty good. I was a little worried that I was uh uncovering a birthmark right about there, but it turned out to be a little piece of chocolate.
是啊，我觉得看起来挺不错的，我本来有点担心会让这上面的胎记露出来，但原来那只是一点巧克力渣。
Joey: Hey Chandler, thank you so much.
钱德，真是感谢你。
Chandler: No problem.
不用客气。
Joey: Listen uh, that's a pretty girly hour we just spent, we should probably do some manly make up for it.
听着，我们刚花了一小时做女人的事，我们应该做一些男人的事来弥补。
Chandler: Yeah.
是啊。
Joey: Comb my eyelashes.
把睫毛梳一下。
Chandler: Yeah.
好啊！
Monica: Ok, for my next song I think I'll sing something a little more upbeat. All right?
下一首歌我想唱比较轻快的，好吗？
Monica: Uhm, oh, how about the Pointer Sisters' "I am so excited".
唱庞特姐妹的“我很兴奋”怎样呢？
Monica: And make it bouncy!
弹得活泼一点哦！
Phoebe: Oh you'll probably take care of that on your hand.
嗯，你自己就可以办得到了。
Chandler: I am sorry I am late. You'll understand when you see Joey.
很抱歉我迟到了，等一下你看到乔伊就知道为什么了。
Monica: Honey, honey, you're just in time, I'm about to sing another song!
亲爱的，你正好赶上，我正要唱另一首歌！
Chandler: Really? In front of all this people?
真的？在所有人面前吗？
Monica: And they love me!
而且他们很喜欢我！
Chandler: Oh my God!
我的天！
Phoebe: Yes, she gives the people what they want.
她给的正是他们想要的。
Monica: All right, watch!
好的，看着！
Chandler: Are those my wife's nipples?
那是我老婆的乳头吗？
Phoebe: Oh? Isn't that funny? I didn't see that before, I wouldn't have let her go up again.
真是好玩，我之前怎么没有注意到？要不然我不会让她上去的。
Chandler: I gotta stop this.
我必须要制止她。
Monica: Oh, who cares, they still love me!
管他的，他们还是爱我！
Monica: You, touching yourself! Out!
你，在自摸！出去！
Rachel: Wow. She does that a lot!
哇！她这么常上厕所！
Michelle: Ross, you didn't tell me you were a doctor!
罗斯，你没有告诉我你是博士。
Rachel: Whh-wh, wait a minute! You haven't even told her that you are a doctor yet?
等一下！你还没有告诉她你是博士？
Rachel: How long have you known her, like an hour?
你认识她多久呢？一个小时吗？
Michelle: Actually about an hour and a half.
事实上是一个小时半。
Ross: I-I told you it wasn't long, but uh there is an amazing connection between us.
我告诉过你了时间不长，但是我们之间有很奇妙的感觉。
Michelle: You feel that too? Oh, I thought that was just me!
你也有感觉到吗？我以为只是我单方面而已！
Ross: Are you, are you kidding?
你开玩笑吗？
Michelle: Oh. Hey, do you wanna go away this weekend?
你想要这周末一起去度假吗？
Ross: We'll see.
再说。
Ross: Ok, Ross, what's going on here, are we just bringing strange women back to the apartment now?
罗斯，这是怎么回事呢？我们现在是可以带陌生女人回家了吗？
Ross: I don't know, are we just kissing guys on balconies?
我不知道，我们现在是可以在阳台上亲吻男人了吗？
Rachel: How do you know about that?
你怎么会知道呢？
Ross: Through the magic of sight! I was here, putting our child to sleep...
我有神奇之眼！我在这里，把我们的女儿哄睡……
Michelle: Emma.
艾玛。
Ross: When I happened to look through the window and see you kissing a guy you know, for what? A week?
当我从窗户看过去，就看到你在亲一个男的，一个你认识有多久的男生，为什么？一星期吗？
Rachel: Oh, God, is that what this is all about? Did you bring her up here to get back at me?
天啊，这就是原因吗？你带她回来报复我吗？
Michelle: No, actually, see, I had to pee, cause I can't use public bathrooms because the doodle parasites.
不，事实上是我要上厕所，而我又不能上公共厕所，因为有寄生虫。
Ross: Ok, Michelle, it's time to go.
好了，蜜雪儿，你该走了。
Michelle: Well, call me!
那，打电话给我！
Ross: Ok.
好的。
Michelle: No, wait, you don't have my phone number!
等等，你没有我的电话！
Ross: Um, you know what, if it's meant to be, I'll guess it. Bye-bye.
你知道吗？如果是命中注定，我会猜到的。再见。
Rachel: Score.
高招。
Ross: Oh, I am sorry, did you not like her, because I was hoping that we could come to one of your kissing parties on the balcony.
你不喜欢她吗？我还希望我们可以去参加你的阳台亲吻派对。
Rachel: Oh God, you know what, I can not believe you're making such a big deal about this. It was one kiss, one guy, one time!
我不敢相信你竟然小题大作，只不过是一个吻！跟一个人，一次而已！
Ross: Oh, really? !
喔，真的吗？！
Rachel: Yeah.
是啊。
Ross: Oh, really? !
喔，真的？
Rachel: Oh yeah!
喔，真的！
Ross: What about the guy from the bar?
那个酒吧认识的男的呢？
Rachel: What? who?
什么！谁？
Ross: The guy you gave your number to.
你给他电话号码的那一个。
Rachel: How do you know about that?
你是怎么知道的？
Ross: Because he called here looking for you.
因为他打来找你。
Ross: So don't tell me this...this kissing this guy from work is a one time thing, ok?
所以别跟我说，你亲这个男同事只是一次而已。
Ross: Cause you've been out there in-in bars and on balconies for over a month now. And you don't even have the courtesy to tell me.
因为你又在酒吧，又在阳台上，已经一个多月了，而你根本就没有礼貌性地告诉我。
Rachel: Why didn't I get that message?
为什么我没有拿到留言？
Ross: What?
什么？
Rachel: From the guy in the bar, why didn't I get that message?
那个酒吧的男的留言？为什么我没有拿到留言？
Ross: Because I folded it up and put it in my pants pocket, do you do you not look there?
因为我折起来放到裤子口袋里了。你没有去找过吗？
Rachel: Ross?
罗斯？
Ross: I never gave it to you.
我没有拿给你
Rachel: Why?
为什么？
Ross: I don't, I don't know.
我不知道。
Rachel: Oh God. You know what?
天啊，你知道吗？
Ross: Who you think you are? Who are you, to decide what messages I should or should not get?
你以为你是谁呢？谁让你有权决定什么留言我该收或是不该？
Ross: Who am I?
我是谁？
Rachel: Yes.
是的。
Ross: I am the guy who's taking care of our baby while you're out at bars meeting guys!
我是那个照顾我们孩子的人。而你却在酒吧跟男人混！
Rachel: Oh my God, I cannot believe you. You know I actually came in here hoping to have a mature conversation with you about us!
我真不敢相信，我回来希望能够跟你成熟的谈谈我们之间！
Rachel: But I can't do that with someone who hides my messages and brings crazy women back to my apartment!
但是我不能跟会藏我留言，还会带疯女人回我公寓的人谈！
Ross: Hey! None of the sane ones wanted to come back with me!
嘿，正常的人没有一个要跟我回来！
Ross: That's, that's not the point. OK?
这不是重点好吗？
Ross: The point is, you, you are the one who moved on and didn't tell anyone!
重点是……是你抛下我们的过去，而你却没有说！
Rachel: Oh God, Ross, this is just so messed up!
天啊，罗斯，这真是糟透了！
Rachel: Uh, what is wrong with us?
我们是怎么了？
Rachel: You know when people hear about our situation they always ask?
当大家知道我们的情况都会问吗？
Rachel: What, you live together but you're not a couple? And you have a baby, isn't that weird? And I say you know-you know what, it's not, because it works for us!
你们住在一起，不是一对，但是你们又有小孩，不是很奇怪吗？我会说，不会，我们都没问题！
Rachel: But you know what, this doesn't work.
但是你知道吗？是有问题的。
Rachel: In fact this is the-the opposite of working!
事实上，还正好相反咧！
Ross: Uh, clearly.
的确如此。
Rachel: And you know, we said that we would, we would live together as long as this makes sense and maybe this just doesn't make sense anymore.
你也知道。我们有说过只要一切没问题，我们就会一直住在一起，然而，或许一切不再是没问题了。
Ross: Yeah, maybe not.
是啊，或许不再是了。
Ross: So what you wanna do?
那你想要怎样呢？
Joey: Hey!
嗨！
Rachel: Hi.
嗨。
Rachel: Can Emma and I live here for a while?
我跟艾玛可以过来住一阵子吗？
Joey: God. Huhh, of course.
天啊。当然可以。
Rachel: Thank you.
谢谢你。
Rachel: Your eyebrows look weird.
你的眉毛很奇怪。
