Leonard:All I'm saying is if they can cure yellow fever and malaria, why can't they do something about lactose intolerance?
Stephanie:Leonard, you're going to have to let this go.
You had a little cheese dip, you farted. I thought it was cute.
Sheldon:Oh, hi, Stephanie.
Stephanie:hi.
Leonard:Want some more wine?
Stephanie:Yeah, I mean, I assume I'm not driving anywhere tonight.
Leonard:What are you doing?
Sheldon:I have a craving for white asparagus that apparently is destined to go unsatisfied.
Leonard:Excuse me.
What the hell is wrong with you?
Sheldon:I'm helping you with Stephanie.
Leonard:By making constipated moose sounds?
Sheldon:When I fail to open this jar and you succeed, it will establish you as the "alpha" male.
You see...when a female witnesses an exhibition of physical domination, she produces the hormone oxytocin.
If the two of you then engage in intercourse, this will create the biochemical reaction in the brain which lay people naively interpret as "falling in love."
Leonard:Would it work if I just punched you in the face?
Sheldon:Yes, actually it would, but let's see how the lid goes.
I'm not strong enough, Leonard, you'll have to do it.
Leonard:Oh, for God's sakes.
Sheldon:Go ahead, it's preloosened.
Stephanie:Do you want some help with that?
Leonard:No, no, no, I got it.
Sheldon:No, yeah, yeah, he's got it, and that's not surprising.
This is something I long ago came to peace with in my role as the beta male.
Open it.
Stephanie:Oh, my God, are you okay?
Leonard:No, I'm not. I'm bleeding.
Sheldon:Just like a gladiator!
Stephanie:Oh, honey, you're going to need stitches.
Leonard:Stitches? With a needle?
Stephanie:Well, yeah, I mean, just a few.
Leonard:Oh, okay, yeah, hang on a sec.
Sheldon:FYI,I was defrosting a steak in there.