How do you stop being so jealous in your relationship?
如何才能在亲密关系中不再那么嫉妒?
Healthy jealousy is normal in an intimate relationship. In fact, it's even a sign that you do have some skin in the game.
在亲密关系中,健康的嫉妒是正常的。事实上,这甚至表明你确实参与其中。
However, excessive jealousy can undercut trust and create tension, discomfort and even fear in a relationship.
然而,过度的嫉妒会削弱信任,并在恋爱关系中造成紧张、不适甚至恐惧。
But also keep in mind that if you are traditionally not a jealous person and you are feeling more jealousy than is typical of you in a relationship, pay attention to whether you are actually feeling psychologically safe.
但也要记住,如果你传统上不是一个嫉妒的人,但在恋爱关系中,你的嫉妒感比你通常的要强烈,那么要注意你是否真的感到心理安全。
First, pay attention to your own past history. Have you been betrayed in the past or did you observe a parent cheat? Any of that can foster jealousy and talking about it can help.
首先,注意你自己的过去。你过去被背叛过吗?或者你亲眼目睹过父母出轨吗?所有这些都会滋生嫉妒,谈论它会有所帮助。
Second, be curious about your partner's life and get to know people in their lives.
其次,对伴侣的生活保持好奇,了解他们生活中的人。
This may help to debunk any threats, especially once you meet people and they get to know you.
这可能有助于揭穿任何威胁,尤其是当你遇到别人,他们也了解你的时候。
Third, jealousy sometimes has its origins in triangulation and being compared to siblings or other children when we were children. Dig into those root causes for yourself.
第三,嫉妒有时源于我们小时候的三角关系和与兄弟姐妹或其他孩子的比较。自己挖掘这些根本原因。
Sometimes our backstories mean that we were almost indoctrinated into the idea that other people represent a threat and that we will be unfavorably compared to them or that we are not enough and can be replaced.
有时我们的背景故事意味着我们几乎被灌输了这样的观念:其他人代表着威胁,我们会被不利地与他们比较,或者我们不够好,可以被取代。
Fourth, find safe spaces to talk about it. Sometimes we cannot fully process feelings like jealousy with a partner and may need a safe space such as therapy to explore these feelings.
第四,找到安全的空间来谈论它。有时我们无法与伴侣完全处理嫉妒之类的感觉,可能需要一个安全的空间,比如治疗来探索这些感觉。