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How do I know my partner is “the one”?
我怎么知道我的伴侣就是“那个人”?
I don't love this designation of “the one”, it puts way too much pressure on the relationship.
我不喜欢这个“那个人”的称号，它给我们的关系带来了太多压力。
As though if you don't make this work you're doomed.
好像如果找不到，你就完蛋了。
Listen, with 7 billion folks on the planet there's more than one “one”.
听着，地球上有70亿人，可不止一个“那个人”。
An important question is how do I know that this is my person and we have a chance at a healthy happy relationship.
一个重要的问题是，我怎么知道这是我的那个他，有机会建立一段健康快乐关系的那个他。
Here are some things to look out for.
这里有一些事情需要注意。
First, do you feel safe, do you feel that there is room for mistakes for sharing vulnerability for simply being yourself without the sense or experience that you will be shamed, mocked, manipulated or gaslighted?
首先，你是否感到安全?你是否感到有犯错的空间?是否有分享脆弱的空间?是否有做你自己的空间，而不会有你被羞辱、嘲笑、操纵或PUA的感觉或经历?
Second, does it feel balanced, equitable and mutual, do you notice each other, step in to help each other, listen to each other in a balanced way?
第二，你们是否感到平衡，公平和共有，你们是否注意到对方，主动帮助对方，以平衡的方式倾听对方?
Third, does it feel respectful?
第三，你感到尊重了吗?
Respect can be shown in many ways, how a partner regards your time, your work, what is meaningful to you, the people that matter to you, ask yourself if you feel talked down to or if you feel heard.
尊重可以在很多方面表现出来，比如对方如何看待你的时间、你的工作、对你有意义的事情、对你重要的人，问问你自己是否觉得被人看不起，或者是否觉得被人倾听。
Fourth, are they empathic?
第四，他们有同理心吗?
Empathy is not simply understanding what you're experiencing, but being present with your feelings too and also understanding how they affect you through their words, behaviors and actions.
同理心不仅仅是理解你正在经历的事情，还包括感受你的感受，并理解它们是如何通过言语、行为和行动影响你的。
Folks, if you found this person, you can weather the storms, draw together, and if you feel safe seen heard and supported then hold on tight to this.
朋友们，如果你找到了这个人，你们就能经受住风暴，团结在一起，如果你感到安全，被看到，被听到，被支持，那就紧紧抓住这个人。
This may in fact be “the one”.
事实上，这可能就是“那个他”。
