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071 第三十六章:伊丽莎白读完信后感到羞愧不已

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If Elizabeth, when Mr. Darcy gave her the letter, did not expect it to contain a renewal of his offers, she had formed no expectation at all of its contents.

在达西先生交给她信的时候,虽说伊丽莎白已经料到信里不会再提及求婚的事,可她对信中会写些什么还是一点也想象不出。

But such as they were, it may well be supposed how eagerly she went through them, and what a contrariety of emotion they excited. Her feelings as she read were scarcely to be defined.

或许我们可以想见的是,伊丽莎白在读这封信时,心情该是多么的急切,在她心中激起的感情该有多么的矛盾。她此时的情感几乎很难辨析。

With amazement did she first understand that he believed any apology to be in his power; and steadfastly was she persuaded, that he could have no explanation to give, which a just sense of shame would not conceal.

首先是她惊奇地发现,达西先生竟然还相信自己具有向别人道歉的能力;然后是她固执地认为,他根本没有什么理由值得加以解释,他在这儿表现出的羞愧感岂能掩饰了他信中的空洞无物。

With a strong prejudice against everything he might say, she began his account of what had happened at Netherfield. She read with an eagerness which hardly left her power of comprehension, and from impatience of knowing what the next sentence might bring, was incapable of attending to the sense of the one before her eyes.

对他可能要说到的一切抱着一种固执的偏见,她开始看对尼日斐花园发生的那件事情的叙述,她急切地读着,急不可待地想知道下一句的内容,结果对眼前的句子却无暇领会,她的理解力此刻似乎离开了她。

His belief of her sister’s insensibility she instantly resolved to be false; and his account of the real, the worst objections to the match, made her too angry to have any wish of doing him justice.

对于达西认为是她姐姐这方面缺少情意的话,她一读到就认定它是虚假的,读到他的那些反对这桩婚姻的令人发指的理由时,气得她再也不愿意给他以公允的评价。

He expressed no regret for what he had done which satisfied her; his style was not penitent, but haughty. It was all pride and insolence.

达西对他的所作所为没有表示出什么遗憾,这倒是合了伊丽莎白的想法。他毫无忏悔之意,信的风格也是盛气凌人的。信里充斥着他平日的傲慢无礼。

But when this subject was succeeded by his account of Mr. Wickham--when she read with somewhat clearer attention a relation of events which, if true, must overthrow every cherished opinion of his worth, and which bore so alarming an affinity to his own history of himself--her feelings were yet more acutely painful and more difficult of definition.

但是,在读到关于威科汉姆先生的这段文字时,当伊丽莎白用一种较为清醒的注意力来读这里的一连串的事件时——这些事件如果是真实的,必然会推翻威科汉姆在她心目中留下的一切美好印象,而且这些事件与其本人讲述的经历有着惊人的相似之处——她的感情更是感到了剧烈的痛苦,更是难以界定。

Astonishment, apprehension, and even horror, oppressed her. She wished to discredit it entirely, repeatedly exclaiming, “This must be false! This cannot be! This must be the grossest falsehood!”--and when she had gone through the whole letter, though scarcely knowing anything of the last page or two, put it hastily away, protesting that she would not regard it, that she would never look in it again.

惊愕、疑虑,甚至是恐惧压迫在她的心头。她希望能把这一切一笔勾销,她不停口地喊着:“这一定是假的!事情绝不可能是这样!这一定是那种最蛮横的欺骗!”她把信整个儿读完以后,尽管连最后一页上写的是什么也记不起来了,可还是很快地把信收了起来,发誓她再不理会它,永远不再去读它了。

In this perturbed state of mind, with thoughts that could rest on nothing, she walked on; but it would not do; in half a minute the letter was unfolded again, and collecting herself as well as she could, she again began the mortifying perusal of all that related to Wickham, and commanded herself so far as to examine the meaning of every sentence.

她心烦意乱地朝前走着,脑子里什么也不能想。不过,这样也不行,不到半分钟的工夫,信又被打开了,她振作起精神,开始仔细阅读有关威科汉姆的那一段令她心碎的文字,逼着自己去玩味每一句话的意思。

The account of his connection with the Pemberley family was exactly what he had related himself; and the kindness of the late Mr. Darcy, though she had not before known its extent, agreed equally well with his own words.

其中讲到威科汉姆跟彭伯里这一家关系的那一部分正跟威科汉姆自己讲得一样,过世的达西先生对他的疼爱,尽管她以前并不知道这疼爱有多深,和他自己所讲述的完全相符。

So far each recital confirmed the other; but when she came to the will, the difference was great.

到这里为止,双方所说的都可以相互印证,可是当她读到有关遗嘱的那一部分时,两个人所讲的可就大不相同了。

What Wickham had said of the living was fresh in her memory, and as she recalled his very words, it was impossible not to feel that there was gross duplicity on one side or the other; and, for a few moments, she flattered herself that her wishes did not err.

威科汉姆说到牧师俸禄的那些话,伊丽莎白还记忆犹新。她一想起他的那些话,就不免感到这里有一个人是说了假话。有一阵子,她倒颇为得意地觉得自己的想法不会有错。

But when she read and re-read with the closest attention, the particulars immediately following of Wickham’s resigning all pretensions to the living, of his receiving in lieu so considerable a sum as three thousand pounds, again was she forced to hesitate. She put down the letter, weighed every circumstance with what she meant to be impartiality--deliberated on the probability of each statement--but with little success.

可是当她又极其仔细地一读再读,读到威科汉姆借口放弃牧师职位从而获得了三千英镑的款项等细节时,她又不由得踌躇起来,她收起信,想不偏不倚地把每种情形好好地思量一番——把每一方陈述的可信程度仔细地推敲一下,却也无济于事。

On both sides it was only assertion. Again she read on; but every line proved more clearly that the affair, which she had believed it impossible that any contrivance could so represent as to render Mr. Darcy’s conduct in it less than infamous, was capable of a turn which must make him entirely blameless throughout the whole.

双方都只是各陈己见。接着她又拿出信读了起来,末了,这样的一个寓意从字里行间显现出来:她本来以为任凭达西先生怎样狡辩也不可能不使他蒙受耻辱的行为,却能够出现一个转折,使他在整个事件中势必变得无可指摘。

The extravagance and general profligacy which he scrupled not to lay at Mr. Wickham’s charge, exceedingly shocked her; the more so, as she could bring no proof of its injustice.

达西先生毫不隐讳地斥责威科汉姆的挥霍无度和放荡不羁,叫伊丽莎白非常吃惊;又因为拿不出证据驳斥人家,她越发感到惊骇。

She had never heard of him before his entrance into the ----shire Militia, in which he had engaged at the persuasion of the young man who, on meeting him accidentally in town, had there renewed a slight acquaintance.

在威科汉姆先生进入某郡的民团以前,她从未听说过他,何况他参加民团也纯属偶然,在城里碰上了个只有几面之交的年轻人,稍经人家劝说便进了军营。

Of his former way of life nothing had been known in Hertfordshire but what he told himself. As to his real character, had information been in her power, she had never felt a wish of enquiring. His countenance, voice, and manner had established him at once in the possession of every virtue.

有关他以前的生活和为人,除了他在哈福德郡告诉给她的那些,她便一无所知了。至于他真实的品性,即便她可以打听得到,也从来没有想着要去探询一下。他的面容,他的声音和举止,让人一眼看上去就觉得他身上具备了每一种美德。

She tried to recollect some instance of goodness, some distinguished trait of integrity or benevolence, that might rescue him from the attacks of Mr. Darcy; or at least, by the predominance of virtue, atone for those casual errors under which she would endeavour to class what Mr. Darcy had described as the idleness and vice of many years’ continuance.

她试着想要记起一两件能体现他的美好品德的事实,想起他的一些为人诚实友善的事例,以把他从达西先生的攻击当中解脱出来;或者,至少通过他的显著的优点能把这些偶然犯的错误弥补起来,在这里伊丽莎白把达西先生称之为多年游手好闲的恶习看作是偶尔犯的错误了。

But no such recollection befriended her. She could see him instantly before her, in every charm of air and address; but she could remember no more substantial good than the general approbation of the neighbourhood, and the regard which his social powers had gained him in the mess.

可没有这样的回忆来帮助她。她能看到威科汉姆活生生的就在眼前,风度翩翩,谈吐迷人。但是,除了邻居们的泛泛赞扬和他的善于交际为他赢得的同伴们的尊敬,再也记不起他有什么实质性的优点。

After pausing on this point a considerable while, she once more continued to read.

在这样思考了一阵子后,她又读起了信。

But, alas! The story which followed, of his designs on Miss Darcy, received some confirmation from what had passed between Colonel Fitzwilliam and herself only the morning before; and at last she was referred for the truth of every particular to Colonel Fitzwilliam himself--from whom she had previously received the information of his near concern in all his cousin’s affairs, and whose character she had no reason to question.

可是天啊!下面讲到的威科汉姆对达西小姐的企图不是从昨天早晨她和费茨威廉上校的谈话中便可得到些许的证实了吗,信上最后要她就这些细节的真实性,去问费茨威廉上校本人——以前她就听他说起过他对表兄的一切事情都很了解,同时对费茨威廉上校的人格她也没有理由怀疑。

At one time she had almost resolved on applying to him, but the idea was checked by the awkwardness of the application, and at length wholly banished by the conviction that Mr. Darcy would never have hazarded such a proposal, if he had not been well assured of his cousin’s corroboration.

有一会儿,她几乎下了决心要去问他了,可是一想到这一问会有多少的尴尬,也就打住了,最后再一想达西先生如果事先对他表弟的合作没有把握,他是绝不会贸然提出这个建议的,于是,干脆就打消了这个念头。

She perfectly remembered everything that had passed in conversation between Wickham and herself, in their first evening at Mr. Phillips’s. Many of his expressions were still fresh in her memory.

伊丽莎白还清楚地记得在菲利普先生家的那天晚上,她自己和威科汉姆初次见面和谈话的情形。他的许多话现在仍然清晰地留在她的记忆里。

She was now struck with the impropriety of such communications to a stranger, and wondered it had escaped her before.

于是她突然想到,他跟一个陌生人讲这样的事有多么唐突,她奇怪她以前为什么就没能看出来。

She saw the indelicacy of putting himself forward as he had done, and the inconsistency of his professions with his conduct. She remembered that he had boasted of having no fear of seeing Mr. Darcy--that Mr. Darcy might leave the country, but that he should stand his ground; yet he had avoided the Netherfield ball the very next week.

她现在觉得他那样津津乐道地谈他自己有多么不雅,而且他的言与行又是多么的不符,她记起他曾吹嘘说他根本不怕见达西先生——达西先生要离开乡下他尽管走好了,他绝不离开这里;可是,接下来的那个星期,在尼日斐花园举办的舞会威科汉姆却没敢去参加。

She remembered also that, till the Netherfield family had quitted the country, he had told his story to no one but herself; but that after their removal it had been everywhere discussed; that he had then no reserves, no scruples in sinking Mr. Darcy’s character, though he had assured her that respect for the father would always prevent his exposing the son.

她还记着在尼日斐花园一家没有搬走以前,他把他的身世只告诉了她一个人。可是在那家人家一走,这件事就到处传开了。虽然他曾经向她说过,对达西父亲的尊重总是使他不愿意暴露他儿子的过失,可是他在贬低达西的人格时却是那么的不遗余力和无所顾忌。

How differently did everything now appear in which he was concerned! His attentions to Miss King were now the consequence of views solely and hatefully mercenary; and the mediocrity of her fortune proved no longer the moderation of his wishes, but his eagerness to grasp at anything.

凡是有关威科汉姆的事情,现在看起来都完全变了个样儿!他对金小姐的青睐现在看来,纯粹是出于令人憎厌的金钱上的考虑。金小姐的财产不多,不再证明他的欲望适中,而是证明他想贪婪地抓住一切东西。

His behaviour to herself could now have had no tolerable motive; he had either been deceived with regard to her fortune, or had been gratifying his vanity by encouraging the preference which she believed she had most incautiously shown.

他对待她自己的那些行为,也不可能有什么好的动机。他不是错误地估计了她的钱财,便是为了满足他的虚荣心,而故意怂恿她心中涌起的对他的情意。

Every lingering struggle in his favour grew fainter and fainter; and in farther justification of Mr. Darcy, she could not but allow that Mr. Bingley, when questioned by Jane, had long ago asserted his blamelessness in the affair;

对他的每一点好感现在都在消减。还能进一步说明达西先生清白的是,她不禁又想起当吉英问到宾格莱时,宾格莱先生所说的达西先生在这件事情上毫无过失的话。

that proud and repulsive as were his manners, she had never, in the whole course of their acquaintance--an acquaintance which had latterly brought them much together, and given her a sort of intimacy with his ways--seen anything that betrayed him to be unprincipled or unjust--anything that spoke him of irreligious or immoral habits;

想起自从他们认识以来(特别是最近以来他们经常见面,对达西的种种行为有了较深切的了解),她从未在达西身上看到过任何邪恶或是行为放荡的地方,尽管他的举止言谈显得高傲和令人生厌。

that among his own connections he was esteemed and valued--that even Wickham had allowed him merit as a brother, and that she had often heard him speak so affectionately of his sister as to prove him capable of some amiable feeling;

而且,达西的亲友们都很尊敬和器重他——甚至连威科汉姆也承认他是一个好兄长,她自己不也经常听达西那么亲切地谈到他的小妹,证明人家也能有一些温柔的感情吗?

that had his actions been what Mr. Wickham represented them, so gross a violation of everything right could hardly have been concealed from the world; and that friendship between a person capable of it, and such an amiable man as Mr. Bingley, was incomprehensible.

如果达西先生的行为果真像威科汉姆所说的那样,他的种种胡作非为难道还能瞒过天下人的耳目。再且达西要是那样的人,他又如何能跟像宾格莱先生这样的好人结成亲密无间的朋友呢?

She grew absolutely ashamed of herself. Of neither Darcy nor Wickham could she think without feeling she had been blind, partial, prejudiced, absurd.

伊丽莎白越想越为自己感到羞愧。不论是想起达西,还是想起威科汉姆,她都不能不觉得自己是盲目、荒唐、存有偏见和不公正的了。

“How despicably I have acted!” she cried; “I, who have prided myself on my discernment! I, who have valued myself on my abilities! Who have often disdained the generous candour of my sister, and gratified my vanity in useless or blameable mistrust! How humiliating is this discovery! Yet, how just a humiliation! Had I been in love, I could not have been more wretchedly blind! But vanity, not love, has been my folly.

“是我自己做得多么不好啊!”她不禁喊了出来,“我,一个自诩为善于甄别是非好坏的人!我,一个一向看重自己能力的人!常常看不起姐姐的那种宽大胸怀,每每操着一种对一切都不信任的眼光,以满足自己的虚荣心!这一发现多让人丢脸!可是这一丢脸又丢得应该!即便是我真的坠入了情网,我也不可能做得比这更糊涂了。然而,是虚荣而不是爱情,使我变得如此愚蠢。

Pleased with the preference of one, and offended by the neglect of the other, on the very beginning of our acquaintance, I have courted prepossession and ignorance, and driven reason away, where either were concerned. Till this moment I never knew myself.”

在刚认识这两个男人时,我便为一个人喜欢我感到得意,为另一个冷落我感到气恼,在对待他们两个人的态度上,我与偏见和无知为盟,驱赶跑了理智。到现在,我才恍然大悟。”

From herself to Jane--from Jane to Bingley, her thoughts were in a line which soon brought to her recollection that Mr. Darcy’s explanation there had appeared very insufficient, and she read it again.

从她自己想到吉英,从吉英想到了宾格莱,顺着这样一条思路,让伊丽莎白很快记起了达西先生对这件事的解释还显得理由不太充分。于是,她又把信读了一遍。

Widely different was the effect of a second perusal. How could she deny that credit to his assertions in one instance, which she had been obliged to give in the other? He declared himself to be totally unsuspicious of her sister’s attachment; and she could not help remembering what Charlotte’s opinion had always been.

这第二遍的细读,效果有很大的不同。既然她在第二件事情上不得不相信了人家,又怎么能在第一件事上不相信人家的陈述呢?达西声称他自己完全没有看出她姐姐对宾格莱的感情,这使她不由得想起夏洛特对她姐姐的一贯看法。

Neither could she deny the justice of his description of Jane. She felt that Jane’s feelings, though fervent, were little displayed, and that there was a constant complacency in her air and manner not often united with great sensibility.

她不能否认,达西对吉英的描述并没有错。她认为吉英的感情虽然炽烈,却很少表露出来,她举止神态中常有的那种娴适恬静,每每让人很难看出她的真实情感。

When she came to that part of the letter in which her family were mentioned in terms of such mortifying, yet merited reproach, her sense of shame was severe.

当伊丽莎白读到关于她家人的那一段时,其中措辞固然伤人,然而批评得却很中肯,于是她越发感到了羞愧。

The justice of the charge struck her too forcibly for denial, and the circumstances to which he particularly alluded as having passed at the Netherfield ball, and as confirming all his first disapprobation, could not have made a stronger impression on his mind than on hers.

那一切入肌肤的有理有据的指责让她否认不得,达西特意提到的在尼日斐花园舞会上她家里人的种种表现(是达西起初反对这门亲事的原因),不仅是他难以忘怀,而且伊丽莎白也同样难以忘记。

The compliment to herself and her sister was not unfelt. It soothed, but it could not console her for the contempt which had thus been self-attracted by the rest of her family; and as she considered that Jane’s disappointment had in fact been the work of her nearest relations, and reflected how materially the credit of both must be hurt by such impropriety of conduct, she felt depressed beyond anything she had ever known before.

信中对她自己和姐姐的赞扬,伊丽莎白当然体会到了。这使她感到些许的安慰,但拂不去她为家人不争气而招来别人小看的羞辱。当她考虑到吉英的失意事实上是由她自己的亲人一手造成,想到她们姐妹俩的优点,由于家人行为的不检点受到多大的损害,她感到一种从未有过的沮丧。

After wandering along the lane for two hours, giving way to every variety of thought--re-considering events, determining probabilities, and reconciling herself, as well as she could, to a change so sudden and so important, fatigue, and a recollection of her long absence, made her at length return home; and she entered the house with the wish of appearing cheerful as usual, and the resolution of repressing such reflections as must make her unfit for conversation.

伊丽莎白沿着小路徘徊了两个钟头,她前思后想,脑子里重新过着这些事情,判断着它们的可能性和合理性,尽可能地说服自己去适应这么一个巨大、突然的变化。最后,她的身子感到疲惫了,又想到自己出来已久,便往家走。她进到屋里时,努力装出像平常一样高兴的样子,极力抑制着自己的情绪,免得谈起话来露出不自然的神情。

She was immediately told that the two gentlemen from Rosings had each called during her absence; Mr. Darcy, only for a few minutes, to take leave--but that Colonel Fitzwilliam had been sitting with them at least an hour, hoping for her return, and almost resolving to walk after her till she could be found. Elizabeth could but just affect concern in missing him; she really rejoiced at it. Colonel Fitzwilliam was no longer an object; she could think only of her letter.

伊丽莎白回来后立刻有人告诉她说,在她出去的这段时间里,罗新斯的两位先生分别来看过她了。达西先生只待了几分钟说是来辞行的,费茨威廉上校则至少跟她们坐了一个钟头,希望等到她回来,有一会儿他甚至决定非要出去找她不可了。伊丽莎白对没有见到费茨威廉装出了一副惋惜的样子。实际上她却为此感到庆幸。费茨威廉上校不再是她向往的一个目标,她脑子里装着的只有这封信。

重点单词   查看全部解释    
insufficient [.insə'fiʃənt]

想一想再看

adj. 不足的

联想记忆
folly ['fɔli]

想一想再看

n. 愚蠢,荒唐事 (复)follies: 轻松歌舞剧

联想记忆
probability [.prɔbə'biliti]

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n. 可能性,或然率,机率

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consequence ['kɔnsikwəns]

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n. 结果,后果

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prejudice ['predʒudis]

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n. 偏见,伤害
vt. 使 ... 存偏见,

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variety [və'raiəti]

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n. 多样,种类,杂耍

 
hastily ['heistili]

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adv. 匆忙地,急速地

 
intimacy ['intiməsi]

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n. 亲密,隐私

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integrity [in'tegriti]

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n. 诚实,正直,完整,完善

 
constant ['kɔnstənt]

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adj. 经常的,不变的
n. 常数,恒量

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