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Guys, I love hearing about new inventions. And every new invention has a patent.
朋友们，我喜欢听关于发明的故事，每一个发明都是专利。
And I read that the U.S. Trademark and Patent Office has issued over 10 million patents since it was created.
我听说美国商标和专利局自从创建之时发布了超一千万个专利。
But only a few of them have actually become actual products. So I figured there must be some gems out there that have been overlooked.
但只有少数成为了产品，所以我想肯定有一些我们忽视的珍贵发明。
So here's a look at some real patents I found that I think should be made in a new segment called Why Wasn't This Made?
所以来看看我发现的一些真实专利，我认为这些产品都应该在新栏目“为什么没制作”上制作成产品。
Why wasn't this made? Why, why, why wasn't this made? Now, before we start,
为什么没制作产品？为什么，为什么没制作？好的，在我们开始之前，
I just want to say these are all real actual patents that you can find on the U.S. Patent and Trademark's website.
我想说这些都是真实的专利，而且都可以在专利局网站上看到的。
Let's take a look at our first patent right here. It was filed back in 1980, and it's a device that will keep you from eating too much.
来看看第一个专利，这个是1980年申请的，这个装置可以避免你多吃。
It is the anti-eating face mask. This is real. And it says here, It is for preventing the ingestion of food by the user.
这事一个禁止吃饭的面具，这是真的，这个卡片上说，目的是避免使用者吃饭。
Yeah, it's pretty subtle. I think people will barely know you're wearing it. Especially if you're Hannibal Lecter, maybe.
没错，装置很巧妙，我认为人们肯定不会知道你戴了这个东西，特别是如果你是汉尼拔·莱克特的话，或许。
It actually has...It has like a padlock. That's crazy. Why wasn't it made?
它还有一个，很像是一个挂锁的东西，很疯狂，为什么没制造出来？
Why, why, why wasn't this made? You don't have to do the theme song every...Every time I say why wasn't this made. Yeah.
为什么，为什么没制造出来？你无需每次都是主题歌，每次我说为什么没有制造的时候，好吧。
This next patent is... Why, why, why... Next patent is an office supply.
下一个专利是，为什么，为什么，为什么...下一个是办公用品。
It's a device for moistening the adhesive coating on postage stamps and envelopes.
这是一个让邮票或者信封的粘合程度变潮湿的装置。
So it wets stamps and envelopes for you. Let's see what it looks like....There you go.
这个可以让你的邮票和信封变潮湿，来看看什么样子...看看。
It's fully functional. Totally appropriate for the workplace.
这个功能很强大，很适合工作场所。
Nothing weird going on here. Why wasn't that made? Why, why, why...
没有什么奇怪的，但为什么没有制作出来呢？为啥...为啥...
You tried to sneak that one in there, yeah. Why, why... This next patent was invented for people who have to deal with bad commutes.
你想把这个伴奏加进去，我知道，为啥...为啥...下一个专利是那些交通堵塞发明的。
Okay, it is a self-propelled unicycle engageable from a vehicle.
好吧，这是一个自力推进的独轮脚踏车，是和汽车接合的。
So as soon as you hit traffic, it's very simple. You just pull over, you jack up the car, you remove one of the tires.
只要你遇到堵塞，很简单，你只要将汽车停在一边，用千斤顶将汽车抬起来，移除其中一个轮子。
You pull this seat with handlebars out of your trunk probably weighs 300 pounds.
然后从后备箱拿出来带有把手的坐椅，大约重大300磅。
Then you attach the wheel to that, and simple as that. You're all done.
之后将轮子和它链接，很简单，然后完成了。
That should take you probably an hour or two. Then you just roll off, problem solved. Why wasn't this made? Why...
这或许要花费一两个小时，之后你就可以走了，问题解决，为啥没制造出来呢？为啥...
We're down to our last one, and it's for all you busy parents out there.
看看最后一个吧，这个是为繁忙的父母准备的。
It's the apparatus and method for carrying a child. Is that a child? That's a really old boy.
这是一个携带孩子的装置，这是一个小孩吗？这是一个老男孩。
They definitely look related. They look exactly alike. They look exactly...
他们长得很像，长得很像呢，十分相像。
Alright, well, anyways. So someone just took stirrup and stuck them down a tool belt.
无论如何，这个装置就是人们踩马镫，通过工具腰带摧垮那个人。
So all your miniature clone has to do is take his shoes off and climb into the stirrups and then choke his doppelganger dad around the neck.
所以这个模拟人要做的就是把鞋脱了，踩着马镫，用手围绕在长相相似的老爸脖子上，将其勒死。
I actually stayed up late last night and... Let's see if I can get this thing worked out.
我昨晚上很晚才睡，看看这个装置是否有效。
Yeah, it's pretty subtle actually. It's pretty cool. No one really knows you're wearing it.
没错，很微妙的装置，超棒的，没人知道你戴着这个东西。
You're at, like, Starbucks or whatever. Like, Hey, can I get a venti? You know, no one knows.
比如你在星巴克等等这些地方，给我一个超大杯？没人知道。
All I need is my mini clone and... Hello, hello, hello, hello. Oh. It's bouncy on here. What's that?
我需要的就是一个小模型，你好，你好，你好，这个沙发很有弹性，啥？
It's bouncy on here. It's bouncy on there. Alright, hold on now. Wow. Alright, buddy. You're in? Yeah, not bad.
沙发很有弹性，沙发有弹性，好了，抓住，好了，你蹬好了吗？可以了吗，不错。
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah! I'm so bouncy over here. Aah! So bouncy! Yeah!
啊啊啊啊...这个很有弹性，很有弹性，啊啊。
That's all the time I have for....Why Wasn't This Made? If you have a patent that you think should be on our show,
这就是本期的“为什么没制造出来”节目，如果你也有可以在节目中播出的专利，
I want to see it. Send your suggestions to whywasntthismade@tonightshow.com.
我想看一看，请将你的建议发送到whywasntthismade@tonightshow.com。
