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And this is where my story starts. When I was a young researcher, doctoral student,
我的故事从这里开始。当我还是个年轻的博士研究生的时候，
my first year, I had a research professor who said to us, "Here's the thing, if you cannot measure it, it does not exist."
第一年，有位研究教授对我们说：“事实是这样的，如果有一个东西你无法测量，那么它就不存在。”
And I thought he was just sweet-talking me. I was like, "Really?" and he was like, "Absolutely."
我心想他只是在哄哄我们这些小孩子吧。我说：“真的么？”他说：“当然。”
And so you have to understand that I have a bachelor's and a master's in social work,
你得知道，我有一个社会工作的学士文凭，一个社会工作的硕士文凭，
and I was getting my Ph.D. in social work, so my entire academic career was surrounded by people who kind of believed in the "life's messy, love it."
我在读的是一个社会工作的博士文凭，所以我整个学术生涯都被人所包围，他们大抵相信生活是一团乱麻，接受它。
And I'm more of the, "life's messy, clean it up, organize it and put it into a bento box."
而我的观点则倾向于，“生活是一团乱麻，解开它，把它整理好，再归类放入便当盒里。”
And so to think that I had found my way, to found a career that takes me -- really, one of the big sayings in social work is, "Lean into the discomfort of the work."
我觉得我领悟到了关键，有能力去创一番事业，让自己--真的，社会工作的一个重要理念是置身于工作的不适中。
And I'm like, knock discomfort upside the head and move it over and get all A's. That was my mantra.
我就是要把这不适翻个底朝天，每科都拿到A。这就是我当时的信条。
So I was very excited about this. And so I thought, you know what, this is the career for me, because I am interested in some messy topics.
我当时真的是跃跃欲试。我想这就是我要的职业生涯，因为我对乱成一团，难以处理的课题感兴趣。
But I want to be able to make them not messy. I want to understand them.
我想要把它们弄清楚。我想要理解它们。
I want to hack into these things that I know are important and lay the code out for everyone to see.
我想侵入那些，我知道是重要的东西，把它们摸透，然后用浅显易懂的方式呈献给每一个人。
So where I started was with connection. Because, by the time you're a social worker for 10 years, what you realize is that connection is why we're here.
所以我的起点是“关系”。因为当你从事了10年的社会工作，你必然会发现关系是我们活着的原因。
It's what gives purpose and meaning to our lives. This is what it's all about.
它赋予了我们生命的意义。就是这么简单。
It doesn't matter whether you talk to people who work in social justice, mental health and abuse and neglect,
无论你跟谁交流，工作在社会执法领域的也好，负责精神健康、虐待和疏于看管领域的也好，
what we know is that connection, the ability to feel connected, is -- neurobiologically that's how we're wired -- it's why we're here.
我们所知道的是，关系是种感应的能力--生物神经上，我们是这么被设定的--这就是为什么我们在这儿。
So I thought, you know what, I'm going to start with connection.
所以我就从关系开始。
Well, you know that situation where you get an evaluation from your boss,
下面这个场景我们再熟悉不过了，你的上司给你作工作评估，
and she tells you 37 things that you do really awesome, and one "opportunity for growth?"
她告诉了你37点你做得相当棒的地方，还有一点--成长的空间？
