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What do these people have in common? I have a slight office supply addiction, but that's another talk.
这群人有什么共同之处？我对办公用品有点痴迷，但这是另一个话题了。
So I had a manila folder, and I had a Sharpie, and I was like, what am I going to call this research?
我有一个牛皮纸文件夹，还有一个三福极好笔，我心想，我该怎么给这项研究命名呢？
And the first words that came to my mind were "whole-hearted." These are whole-hearted people, living from this deep sense of worthiness.
第一个蹦入我脑子的是全心全意这个词。这是一群全心全意，靠着一种强烈的自我价值感在生活的人们。
So I wrote at the top of the manila folder, and I started looking at the data.
所以我在牛皮纸夹的上端这样写道，而后我开始查看数据。
In fact, I did it first in a four-day, very intensive data analysis, where I went back, pulled the interviews, the stories, pulled the incidents. What's the theme?
事实上，我开始是用四天时间集中分析数据，我从头找出那些采访，找出其中的故事和事件。主题是什么？
What's the pattern? My husband left town with the kids because I always go into this Jackson Pollock crazy thing, where I'm just writing and in my researcher mode.
有什么规律？我丈夫带着孩子离开了小镇，因为我老是陷入像杰克逊·波洛克（美国近代抽象派画家）似的疯狂状态，我一直在写，完全沉浸在研究的状态中。
And so here's what I found. What they had in common was a sense of courage.
下面是我的发现。这些人的共同之处在于勇气。
And I want to separate courage and bravery for you for a minute.
我想在这里先花一分钟跟大家区分一下勇气和胆量。
Courage, the original definition of courage,when it first came into the English language -- it's from the Latin word "cor," meaning "heart" --
勇气，最初的定义，当它刚出现在英文里的时候--是从拉丁文cor，意为心，演变过来的--
and the original definition was to tell the story of who you are with your whole heart.
最初的定义是真心地叙述一个故事，告诉大家你是谁的。
And so these folks had, very simply, the courage to be imperfect.
所以这些人就具有勇气，承认自己不完美。
They had the compassion to be kind to themselves first and then to others,
他们具有同情心，先是对自己的，再是对他人的，
because, as it turns out, we can't practice compassion with other people if we can't treat ourselves kindly.
因为，事实是，我们如果不能善待自己，我们也无法善待他人。
And the last was they had connection, and -- this was the hard part -- as a result of authenticity,
最后一点，他们都能和他人建立关系，这是很难做到的--前提是他们必须坦诚，
they were willing to let go of who they thought they should be in order to be who they were, which you have to absolutely do that for connection.
他们愿意放开自己设定的那个理想的自我，以换取真正的自我，这是赢得关系的必要条件。
