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Ross: So I asked Emily if she would come to New York, and she said yes.
我就问艾蜜莉愿不愿意来纽约，她答应了。
Chandler: Yes!
对了！
Phoebe: Ooh-ohh!
好哦！
Monica: Great!
太好了！
Ross: No-no-no! Only if I promise never to see Rachel again.
不不不！条件是我不准再见瑞秋。
Phoebe: Why?
为什么？
Monica: What? ! You can't- what did you tell her?
什么？不行。你怎么说？
Ross: I told her I'd have to think about it. I mean, how the hell am I supposed to make this kind of a decision? I'm actually asking you!
我说要考虑，我到底该怎么决定？我这是在问你们！
Chandler: Well, you can't just not see Rachel anymore, she's one of your best friends.
你不能就此不见瑞秋，她是你的好朋友。
Monica: Yeah! But, she can't exactly not see Emily, I mean that's his wife.
但是他也不能不见艾蜜莉，她可是他老婆。
Chandler: That's true!
对，也是。
Phoebe: Yeah, right. Yeah, but, you've known Rachel since high school and you cannot just cut her out of your life.
你跟瑞秋从中学就认识，不能说不见就不见。
Chandler: That's true!
你说得也对！
Ross: Thanks for the help, problem solved.
谢谢你们的帮忙，问题解决了。
Monica: Hello.
喂。
Joey: Hey Mon!
嗨，莫妮卡！
Monica: Oh hey Joey! Oh we've been watching all day, when're you gonna be on TV?
乔伊，我们看了一整天电视，你到底何时才会出现？
Joey: See, there was kind of a mix-up in my agent's office, but I'm still on TV and that's good exposure.
我经纪人搞错了，反正我上了电视就有曝光率。
Monica: You're not on TV.
你没上电视啊。
Joey: Oh, uh, ok, how, how about now?
好吧，现在呢？
Chandler: Hey, there he is! There he is!
有了，看到他了！
Joey: Hello New York!
嗨，纽约！
Emeril: You know? Maybe you just like wanna put the whole duck right in there. Who cares, you know? Now I got the legs...
问题是这里有整支鸭，不过管他的，我先处理鸭腿……
Chandler: How many times have I told you guys, you never watch the cooking channel!
我说过多少次，不准看烹饪频道！
Monica: Hi Chandler.
嗨，钱德。
Chandler: Hey!
嘿！
Monica: Uh, listen, I need that broiling pan that Joey borrowed the other day.
我来要回乔伊上次借的烤盘。
Chandler: Oh that was yours? Uh, yeah, we used it when the duck was throwing up caterpillars.
那是你的？我们上次用来，盛小鸭吐出来的虫子。
Monica: William Sonoma, fall catalog, Page 27.
在“威廉索诺玛”秋季刊27页买的。
Chandler: Expect it in 4-6 weeks. Umm, hey, umm, Joey's gonna be at the telethon for the rest of the day, we have the whole place to ourselves.
4到6周后送货到你家。乔伊今天一整天都不在，整个家里就只有我们两个。
Monica: Yeah, so?
那又如何？
Chandler: Well I just, thought maybe you'd wanna book some time with the best you've ever had.
或许你想跟最佳情人，预约时间约会。
Monica: You know what, champ? I think I'll pass.
你知道吗，冠军，我自愿放弃。
Chandler: Why?
为什么？
Monica: Why?
为什么？
Chandler: What's your point?
什么意思？
Monica: With all the stupid gloating, would you want to sleep with you?
瞧你一副得意洋洋的蠢相，换作是你，还会有性趣吗？
Chandler: Well, I think I'd be a little out of my league, but I'd give it a shot.
或许有点困难，不过我会努力。
Joey: PBS telethon.
公视电视募捐。
Phoebe: Hey Joey, I just wanted to let you know that I found a selfless good deed. I went down to the park and I let a bee sting me.
乔伊，告诉你，我找到无私的善行了。我刚去公园让蜜蜂叮我。
Joey: What? What good is that gonna do anybody?
什么？这对谁有好处？
Phoebe: Well, it helps the bee look tough in front of his bee friends. The bee is happy and I am definitely not.
这支蜜蜂在同伴面前，脸上有光。蜜蜂很开心，我却很痛。
Joey: Now, you know the bee probably died after he stung you.
蜜蜂叮了你就死了。
Phoebe: Damn it!
可恶！
Stage Director: Back on in 30 seconds people!
各位，30秒后开始录影！
Joey: Hey, excuse me, would you mind switching with me? I'm just.
抱歉，可以跟你换位子吗？
PBS Volunteer: Uh, no way, I'm in the shot man.
甭想，我刚好在镜头里。
Joey: Come on man! You've been here all day!
拜托，你已经在这里一天了！
PBS Volunteer: Yeah, I-I'm taking pledges here, eh?
我在接受捐款，别吵我！
Stage Director: And we're on in 3,2,
倒数计时3、2……
Gary Collins: Welcome back to our fall telethon. Now if you've been enjoying the performance of Cirque Du Soleil, and you'd like to see more of the same kind of programming, it's very simple.
欢迎收看电视募捐。如果各位喜欢“太阳马戏团”，以后还想收看同类型节目，方法很简单。
Gary Collins: All you have to do is call in your pledge and at that time tell the operator, one of our volunteers, what type of programming you'd like to...
只要打电话捐款，并告诉我们的义工。你喜欢收看哪类型节目……
Chandler: Uhh, quick broiling pan question...
问你一个烤盘的问题好吗？
Monica: Yes, it really does cost that much. Maybe next time your duck can puke in something from Pottery Barn.
价钱就是这么贵。或许你们下次可以考虑，用廉价盘子处理鸭子的呕吐物。
Ross: Ok, that's it. I cannot make this decision! It is too difficult, so I'm just gonna leave it entirely up to the gods of fate.
够了，我无法做决定。这实在太难了，我决定交给命运之神。
Monica: A Magic 8-Ball? ! Come on you can't be serious, you can't make this decision with a toy!
神奇8号球？你开玩笑吧？怎么可以用玩具决定命运？
Phoebe: Ooh, it's not a toy.
这可不是玩具。
Ross: Well, I don't know what else to do. I mean, I either keep my wife and lose one of my-my-my best friends or I keep my friend and get divorced for the second time before I'm 30!
我别无选择！不是追回老婆，失去最好的朋友，就是留下朋友，在30岁前离婚两次。
Ross: So-so if anyone has-has a better suggestion, let's hear it! Cause I-I got nothing! All right, don't beshy, any suggestion will do.
要是有人有更好的建议，现在就说出来。否则我真的没有办法！大家别害羞，各种建议都可以。
Ross: Ok then. Here we go. Magic 8 Ball, should I never see Rachel again?
好吧，开始了。神奇8号球，我是不是不该再见瑞秋？
Ross: Ask again later. Later is not good enough. Ask again later. What the hell! This is broken! It-it is broken!
待会再问。这个答案不够好！待会再问。搞什么啊，这东西坏掉了！
Monica: All right, let me see. Will Chandler have sex tonight? Don't count on it. Seems like it worked to me.
我来看看，钱德今晚会跟女人上床吗？别指望了，我倒觉得没坏掉。
Ross: Ok, one more time. Should I never see Rachel again?
好，再来一次。我是否不该再见瑞秋了？
Rachel: Hey. Ooh, Magic 8 Ball! What did you ask?
神奇8号球！你问什么？
Ross: Uhh, do-does...Rachel get to pick the movie that we're all going to see tonight?
今晚要看的电影，可以交由瑞秋决定吗？
Rachel: Excellent. What's the answer? Woo-hoo! Looks like Stella's gonna get her groove back tonight! Wh-what? I heard it was good.
很好，答案是什么？看来斯泰拉今晚能找回她的快乐了！（《当老牛碰上嫩草》）怎么了？听说那部片不错啊。
Joey: PBS Telethon.
公视电视募款。
Phoebe: Hi Joey.
嗨，乔伊。
Joey: Hey Pheebs!
嗨，菲比。
Phoebe: I would like to make a pledge. I would like to donate $200.
我要捐钱，我想捐200元。
Joey: $200? You sure Pheebs? I mean, after what Sesame Street did to you?
200元？你确定？“芝麻街”可是伤你不浅。
Phoebe: Oh, I'm still mad at them but I also know that they bring happiness to lots of kids whose moms didn't kill themselves.
我还是很生气，不过我也知道，很多妈妈没自杀的小孩很爱看。
Phoebe: You know, so, by supporting them, I'm doing a good thing, but I'm not happy about it. So there, a selfless good deed.
为了支持这节目，我决定做件好事，不过我自己可不开心。你看，这就是无私的善行。
Joey: All right and you don't feel a little good about donating the money?
难道你捐钱没有一点开心？
Phoebe: No, it sucks. I was saving up to buy a hamster.
难过死了，我本想用那笔钱买支黄金鼠。
Joey: A hamster? What, those things are like 10 bucks.
黄金鼠？那种宠物，10元就买得到。
Phoebe: Yeah, not the one I had my eye on.
我喜欢的那支可没那么便宜。
Gary Collins: It looks like we have surpassed last year's pledge total! Thank you viewers!
看来今年的募款，已经超过去年总额，谢谢各位。
Gary Collins: Yeah, te pledge that did it was taken by one of our volunteers...Oh boy! And may I say one ofour sharpest dressed volunteers, Mr. Joseph Tribbiani!
打破纪录的捐款是由我们的义工募得。而且这位还穿得很体面。这位就是乔伊崔比昂尼！
Phoebe: Oh, look-look, Joey's on TV! Isn't that great? Hey, my pledge got Joey on TV! Oh that makes me feel so- Oh no!
乔伊上电视了！太棒了！我的捐款让乔伊上了电视！这真是让我……糟糕！
Chandler: Look, maybe I got carried away before. But there's something you gotta know. If I'm the best, it's only because you made me the best.
或许我先前太得意了，不过有件事要告诉你。如果我表现得很好也是因为你。
Monica: Keep talking.
说下去。
Chandler: I mean I was nothing before you. Call the other girls and ask. Which wouldn't take long. But whenI'm with you, and we're together, OH...MY...GOD.
跟你在一起之前，我根本表现平平。你可以打去问我以前那些女友，你一定很快就问完了。但是我跟你……我们在一起……我……的……天……啊！
Monica: Really?
真的？
Chandler: Oh-aw my God! Now, I understand if you never want to sleep with me again, but that would be wrong. We're too good! We owe it, to sex!
天啊！如果你不想再跟我上床，我也能体谅。不过这决定就不对了，我们太厉害了，不上床实在太可惜！
Monica: Well, if we owe it? Oh! Oh my...When is Joey gonna be home?
如果真是这样……天啊！乔伊何时回来？
Chandler: Well, I was kinda hoping we could do this without him. Oh no-no-no, leave the gloves on.
我们应该不需要等他。没关系，手套不用脱。
Monica: But, I just cleaned the bathroom.
可是我刚在清厕所。
Chandler: Yeah, why don't we lose the gloves. Monica: Yeah.
那就脱掉吧！好。
Chandler: All right, let's show 'em how it's done. Monica: Ok. Ow!
让大家看看谁才是高手。好。喔！
Chandler: You know that wasn't part of it?
这不包括在内。
Monica: I know! I know.
我知道！
Rachel: Hi! You ready? You know- you- we're gonna be late!
嗨，你准备好没？我们要迟到了。
Ross: For what?
迟到什么？
Rachel: For Stella! Remember? She's getting her grove back in like 20 minutes.
看电影啊？你没忘吧？还有20分钟斯泰拉就能找回快乐了。
Ross: Yeah, I uh, totally forgot about that. Do you, do you mind if I take a rain check? I'm waiting for a call from Emily.
我完全忘记了，你不介意我爽约一次吧？我正在等艾蜜莉的电话。
Rachel: Well, sure, yes. Hey, I hear you don't have to go to London. Yay!
没关系。听说你不用去伦敦了，好耶！
Ross: It's not that easy, there's still a lot of uh relationship stuff.
事情没那么简单，我们还有很多问题。
Rachel: Like what?
例如？
Ross: Just stuff. You know, uh, kinda what Emily wants.
就是一些问题，艾蜜莉对我有些要求。
Rachel: Well, why don't you talk to me about it, maybe I can help.
你可以告诉我，或许我帮得上忙。
Ross: No. No. You-you can't help. I mean, I kinda have to do this without your help.
不行，你帮不上忙，这件事你帮不上忙。
Rachel: Well, I-I know you can do that too. I'm, I'm just saying if you need somebody to talk to...
我知道你自己办得到，但是如果你想找人谈谈……
Rachel: Hi!
这呢！
Ross: Thanks.
谢了。
Rachel: Ross? Look, whatever this relationship stuff is that Emily wants, just give it to her.
罗斯？无论艾蜜莉有何要求，你答应就是了。
Rachel: Come on, the bottom line is that you love her. So just fix whatever she wants fixed. Just do it.
最重要的是你爱她。她怎么要求，你就怎么做。答应就对了。
Rachel: I mean, you're gonna have to try. You'll just hate yourself if you don't. Oh come on answer it! It'sdriving me crazy!
你总得试试看，不试试以后一定会后悔。快接电话啊，我都快被逼疯了！
Ross: Hello. Hi sweetie. Good. Look umm, yes I've been-been thinking about that thing you-you wanted me to do and uh, I can do it. So will you come to New York?
喂，亲爱的，我很好。我考虑过你的要求，我办得到。你愿意来纽约吗？
Monica: Never done that before.
不要再这样了。
Chandler: Nope.
不会了。
