ESSAY批改：申请赴美交换学习。TPO小站综合点评及修改意见：本篇essay内容总的看起来就非常杂乱，建议将文章的结构要重新做调整。学校让写申请论文，回答提出的问题，其实不是一定要根据列出的题目顺序再一板一眼地作答，而是说用一篇essay回答上述提到的所有问题点即可。TPO小站建议以目的—准备—未来计划做主线，其他与专业无关的内容就尽量简化。

原文：

It is the first time for me to go abroad and study abroad. So it will be a very special experience for me. And I have several goals that I want to achieve.
The first one is that I want broden my horizons. I will experience the exotic culture through participating in this program. And I can visit the famous museums and theaters which will enhance my appreciation abilities.

The second one is that I want to improve my academic performance. Since the Penn is one of the most famous universities in the world I think I will learn a lot from the professors and the other students.

There are a couple of reasons for me to be interested in studying in the United States. In the first place, the United States owns a high standard education and it's economics develops very well. So I believe I can take in some valuable things through studying in the USA. Secondly, I'm interested in the American cultural and it is a good opportunity for me to experience their culture. And I wish to study in the University of Pennsylvania because it is located in Philadelphia, a city that is one of the most historic cities in the US. I think I can Visit the many historic sights, including two famous symbols of freedom: the Liberty Bell and Independence Hall, where the Declaration of Independence was, Enjoy performances of the Philadelphia Orchestra, Pennsylvania Ballet, Opera Company of Philadelphia, or local productions of major Broadway plays, 1,700 exotic animals at the Philadelphia Zoo, the oldest in the US, Explore 50 museums including the Philadelphia Museum of Art and the Rodin Museum and Join thousands of sports fans at professional baseball, basketball or football games. Philadelphia city offers everything from rich history to diverse dining; the arts and culture to recreation and outdoor activities. Philadelphia has something for everyone. And the University of Pennslyvenia owns an enterprise of powerful and esteemed research I believe I will learn a lot of advanced knowledge of economics. Besides, I will make a full use of the world-class libraries, computing facilities and academic and language support resources to improve my academic performance. What's more, I'm also interested in the colorful social and cultural activities, so I think I will attend many activities such as the community service and I think this is one of the best way for me to blend into the Penn.

I'm interested in the Microeconomics and Macroeconomics and the Statistics for the economists. These three courses are related to my course in our university and I think I can get some new ideas from these three courses which I think will help improve my academic performance. Besides, I'm also interested in the writing classes for the research paper. I have not receive the formal academic research paper writing training, so I think this is a good opportunity for me to learn how to write a good essay. As for the campus resources, I think I will make a full use of the campus academic resources such as The University of Pennsylvania Library System, State-of-the-art Laboratories. And I will also try to keep a close contact with the academic advisor to consult him\her to design a program of study to meet my needs. I think I can develop an individualized curriculum from over 170 courses in 50 areas of study. What's more, I will try my best to access to Penn student life. I will attend the Social and Cultural Events such as the theater, orchestra, dance, film society, jazz concerts, Spring Fling positively. And I will also use the Recreational Facilities and Classes such as the gyms, tennis and squash courts, fitness center, and pools to help me keep healthy.
Since I will be helped by the academic advisors to choose the best class for me and I have free access to the libraries and computing center I think this will help me a lot in my academic study. I plan to have a further study in the Penn. I plan to apply to the graduate program in the Penn's the School of Wartoon.

TPO小站综合点评及批改意见：

学校让写申请论文，回答提出的问题，其实不是一定要根据列出的题目顺序再一板一眼地作答，而是说用一篇essay回答上述提到的所有问题点即可。但是本篇essay总的看起来就非常杂乱，建议将文章的结构要重新做调整。以目的—准备—未来计划做主线，其他与专业无关的东西就尽量简化或者调整到最后。