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If a Chinese child gets a B, irrespective of the subject, there would first be a screaming, hair-tearing explosion. The Chinese mother would intensify her efforts and get dozens, maybe hundreds of practice tests and use every tool at her disposal, to get her child's grade up to an A.
如果中国孩子得了 B，不管什么科目，首先面临的就是一声尖叫和恼怒的爆发。中国母亲会更加不遗余力地找来几十也许几百套的测验题，不惜采取手头任何办法来让自己孩子的成绩提高到 A。
Chinese parents demand perfect grades because they take it for granted that their child can get them, and grades are a more important measure of success than "self-esteem". If their child doesn't get all A's the Chinese parents assume it's because the child didn't work hard enough. That's why the solution to substandard performance is always to punish and shame the child. Chinese parents believe that their child is hardy enough to take the shaming and to improve from it.
中国父母要求完美的成绩，因为他们理所当然地认为孩子完全可以做到，而且分数是比“自尊”更为重要的衡量成功的标准。如果孩子没拿到全 A，中国父母就认为这是因为孩子不够努力。这就是为什么对表现欠佳的孩子，父母总是会施以惩罚和辱骂。中国家长相信孩子足够坚强，能够承受羞辱，并会由此进步。
Second, Chinese parents believe their kids owe them everything. The reason for this isn't clear, but it's probably a combination of the Confucian doctrine of loyalty and the fact that parents have sacrificed so much for their children; so, Chinese children must spend their lives repaying their parents by obeying them and making them proud.
其次，中国父母认为孩子欠他们一切。这种看法的原因尚不清楚，也许是儒家“忠”的信条，再加上父母为子女牺牲诸多这一事实。因此，中国孩子必须听从父母教导，使他们自豪，终其一生回报他们。
Another area where Chinese and Westerners clash is that most Westerners don't believe offspring must show permanent gratitude to parents. My Western husband actually has this opposite view. "Children don't choose their parents," he once said to me. 'They don't even choose to be born. It's parents who force life on their kids, so it's the parents' responsibility to provide for them. Kids don't owe their parents anything. Their duty will be to their own kids." This strikes me as a terrible deal for the Western parents.
中西方理念碰撞的另一领域是，西方人大多认为子女无须永远感激父母。我丈夫是个西方人，实际上就持有这种相反观点。“孩子又不能选择自己的父母，”他曾对我说过。“他们连要不要出生都没法选择，是父母强行给了他们生命，所以父母有责任抚养他们。孩子一点都不欠父母的，他们只对自己的子女负责任。”这话让我觉得西方父母受到的待遇真差。
