You know, women or people who are assigned female at birth are really performing the bulk of caregiving, and this particularly often falls on daughters.

So there's actually sort of an unofficial term for this. It's called "eldest daughter syndrome."

Yeah. I've definitely seen that on social media for sure. Yeah.

And I mean, as an eldest daughter myself, I can definitely identify with this.

You know, it's basically the idea that the oldest daughter is sort of expected to take on a lot of those caregiving responsibilities.

It feels very real, and I've seen people talking about that, I think, for as long as I can remember.

Is there data that actually backs that up?

Yeah, so it turns out there is actual data.

There was a 2020 report by the National Alliance for Caregiving and AARP's Public Policy Institute, which found that 61 percent of caregivers are women, and some estimates put that number as high as 80 percent.

Wow. This really impacts women.

You know, that's not to say that there are not some very good sons who are caregivers. It primarily just falls on the women.

You think of a woman in the prime of her professional career, what's the impact on that career advancement?

This is certainly an imbalance, but I don't want to make it sound like there's no men who are caregivers as well.

Of course, yeah.

Although there's all this pressure on the oldest daughter and children in general, you know, it's really important to have someone else to provide backup.

So if you have siblings or friends or other family members who can help out, I think just even having one other person as a backup can be incredibly important for the mental health of the caregiver.

And this is something that I personally found in my own life, you know, with my own siblings, when we were taking care of our mom—that we really valued having each other to kind of, like, take the load off now and then and take breaks.

So we actually talked to an adult brother and sister who are helping care for their mother who lives in an assisted living facility.

And the brother's name is Tim Spellman, but his sister Margaret calls him "Saint Tim" because he actually takes care of several older people in their life, including their mom.

I do a lot of the visiting to take her to medical appointments and stuff, and my car knows the way really well.

There's been times when I've been in twice a week.

I guess I'll just say--so I have several old people in my life.

My mother-in-law is 94. She's about to turn 95 next month. She lives on the Cape.

She saves up "honey-do" things for me to do for her when I get down there, and I absolutely adore that.

So that's been a real joy for me is to have all these people that I can do something for, and it really brings meaning to my life.

Another person we talked to is Catherine Musinsky.

We heard her voice earlier in the episode.

She is a woman in Massachusetts and a daughter who—she's taking care of her mom, who had a stroke a few years ago.

She really explained how hard it is to be the sole person providing care, because, without having that backup, you know, every little task falls to you.

And she just described how she feels constantly worried and anxious about her mom, and as much as she loves her mom and is happy to take care of her, she's really had to put her own life on hold.

If I'm here, I can't focus on anything for a long time without getting interrupted because her needs are continual or constant.

She'll drop something; she can't pick it up. She needs help opening a jar. You know, the list goes on.

For example, she has a boyfriend, but she feels like she can't have him stay over because she's constantly having to look after her mom.

And she can't go out dancing—she used to go to these, like, improv dance jams all the time.

And she would go out to drawing nights and things like that, but she just can't do any of that anymore, even though it was a really big part of her life before she moved in with her mom.