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The best and worst MRE accessories. Just like the hit-and-miss menu itself, there are fans and there are critics of the various accessories found in the ration packs of militaries past and present.
最好和最差的MRE口粮。就像时好时坏的菜单一样，针对过去和现在军队口粮包中的各种装备，毁誉参半。
A few are universally detested, a number are universally adored, and some fall in-between while others are just flat-out misunderstood.
其中一些装备普遍令人厌恶，一些装备普遍受到喜爱，还有一些介于两者之间，而另一些则完全被误解。
John Wayne Toilet Paper. For those in the military, back-end sanitation is a matter of life and death, mainly because the MRE toilet paper provided is so harsh.
约翰·韦恩厕纸。对于军队中的人来说，屁股的卫生事关生死，主要是因为提供的MRE卫生纸非常粗糙。
There's a high chance you'll bleed out before you flush.
很有可能在冲水之前就流血了。
Affectionately known as John Wayne toilet paper, because it's rough and tough and doesn't take off no one, this infamous MRE accessory can also be used to sand down stools, both wooden and biological.
这种臭名昭著的MRE配件被亲切地称为约翰·韦恩卫生纸，因为它粗糙而坚韧，不会弄脏任何人，还可以用来打磨凳子，无论是木制的还是生物的。
Aside from the dreadful feel, the main problem with this low-grade toilet tissue alternatively called oh dear God why paper is that it's not the sturdiest,
除了糟糕的触感之外，这种低档厕纸的主要问题是它不是最坚固的，
a common complaint being that it's utterly unable to wipe anything without tearing itself apart along with the colon.
士兵经常抱怨它完全无法擦拭任何东西，除非连同结肠一起撕裂。
However, these ring stinging reams of extra fine grit sandpaper which are commercially available online in packs of 50 for just 15 bucks each are far from impractical.
然而，这些刺痛的超细砂纸在网上每包50张仅售15美元，远非不切实际。
One web retailer has gone to great pains and know they haven't tested the original function to list many alternative applications.
一家网络零售商不遗余力地列出了许多替代品，他们知道他们没有测试过原始功能。
It might make bathroom users unable to touch their toes for an afternoon.
它可能会让浴室用户一下午都无法触摸脚趾。
But for others, it remains an incredibly flexible product that can be used as a pocket tissue, a fire starter, and even as a wipe to clean oil from the dipstick of a car.
但对于其他人来说，它仍然是一种非常灵活的产品，可以用作小纸巾、点火器，甚至可以用作擦拭汽车油尺上机油的抹布。
You could also probably use it as tracing paper or even try rolling a cigarette or whatever with it.
您可能还可以将其用作描图纸，甚至可以尝试用它卷烟或做其他事情。
Chewing gum. Of all the various military accoutrements, the chewing gum MRE is probably the most misunderstood.
在各种军用装备中，口香糖MRE可能是最容易被误解的。
Urban legend says that the gum has the opposite effect of the Biscuit Brown in that it releases the floodgates rather than holding them back.
都市传说称口香糖的效果与Biscuit Brown相反，它释放了闸门，而不是阻止闸门。
According to one former dweller, the red piece is the laxative while the white one is an anti-diarrheal, a useful combination that enables soldiers in the field to plug up or unplug at leisure.
据一位居民介绍，红色是泻药，而白色是止泻药，这种组合非常有用，可以让士兵在战场上随意憋住或排泄。
Thanks to the detective work of a few internet sleuths though, this myth has well truly been busted.
不过，多亏了几个网络侦探的侦查工作，这个神话终于被打破了。
According to David Aceta, a veteran in charge of public affairs at the Army Natick Soldier Systems Center,
据纳蒂克士兵系统中心负责公共事务的退伍军人大卫·阿塞塔(David Aceta)称，
which is tasked with supplying food to the US Army, the belief that the gum is a bowel loosener is completely incorrect.
口香糖是肠道疏松剂的说法完全是错误的，该中心负责为美国陆军提供食品。
Its true and rather more boring purpose is actually to clean the teeth and freshen the breath, which definitely comes in handy after you've gagged down a vomit.
它真正的、更无聊的用途实际上是清洁牙齿和清新口气，这在你呕吐物咽下去之后绝对有用。
In fact, it is surprisingly effective at staving off the maloudorous after-effects of army ration food introduced to MRE packages in 2004 by the Joint Services Operational Rations Forum.
2004年，联合军种作战口粮论坛引入MRE包装的军用口粮食品，口香糖在延缓其恶臭后遗症方面表现出惊人的效果。
Chewing xylitol gum on a daily basis has been shown to reduce tooth decay by between 30 to 85% and to adequately neutralize weapon-grade halitosis, even if it's one step down from chemical warfare.
研究表明，每天咀嚼木糖醇口香糖可减少30%至85%的蛀牙，并能充分中和武器级口臭，即使其臭味严重程度仅比化学战争低一级。
The US Army MRE also features another type of gum infused with caffeine.
美国陆军MRE还有另一种注入咖啡因的口香糖。
Like a mid battle power up, nibbling just a couple of pieces can get you buzzed in as little as 15 minutes,
就像战斗中的能量补充，只需咬几口就能让你在短短15分钟内兴奋起来，
because the caffeine is absorbed through the tissues of the mouth, meaning it gets into your bloodstream faster.
因为咖啡因是通过口腔组织吸收的，这意味着它会更快地进入你的血液。
So forget toothpaste and forget coffee, the chewing gum MRE has everything you need.
忘掉牙膏和咖啡吧，口香糖MRE拥有你需要的一切。
