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He takes in Marilyn's honey-colored hair; her skin, even paler than usual from a month spent indoors.
他欣赏玛丽琳蜂蜜色的头发；她的皮肤，由于在室内待了一个月，比平时还要白。
Those sky-colored eyes he has adored for so long, first in his wife's face and then in his child's.
他爱慕了这么久的那双天蓝色的眼睛，先是在他妻子脸上，然后在他孩子脸上。
Things he has never said, never even hinted to Marilyn before, pour from his mouth.
他从未说过、甚至从未向玛丽琳暗示过的话，都从他的嘴里倾泻而出。
"You've never been in a room where no one else looked like you. You've never had people mock you to your face. You've never been treated like a stranger."
“你从未待在一个没有人看起来像你的空间。你从未被人当面嘲笑过。你从未被当作陌生人对待过。”
He feels as if he has vomited, violently, and he drags the back of his hand across his lips. "You have no idea what it's like, being different."
他觉得自己好像吐了，吐得很厉害，然后用手背抹了抹嘴唇。“你不知道与众不同是什么感觉。”
For a moment James looks young and lonely and vulnerable, like the shy boy she'd met so long ago, and half of Marilyn wants to gather him in her arms.
有那么一会儿，詹姆斯看上去年轻、孤独、脆弱，就像很久以前她遇到的那个害羞的男孩，而玛丽琳有一半的欲望想把他搂在怀里。
The other half of her wants to batter him with her fists. She gnaws her lip, letting the two sides struggle.
另一半则想用拳头打他。她咬着嘴唇，让双方斗争下去。
"Sophomore year, in the lab, the men used to sneak up behind me and try to lift up my skirt," she says at last.
“大二时，在实验室里，男人们常常偷偷溜到我身后，试图撩起我的裙子，”她最后说。
"One time they came in early and pissed in all of my beakers. When I complained, the professor put his arm around me and said—" The memory catches in her throat, like a burr.
“有一次他们来得很早，在我所有的烧杯里撒尿。当我抱怨时，教授搂着我说——”那段刺痛的记忆卡在她的喉咙里。
"Don't worry about it, honey. Life's too short and you're too beautiful. You know what? I didn't care. I knew what I wanted. I was going to be a doctor."
“别担心，亲爱的。生命太短，你太美了。你知道吗？我不在乎。我知道我想要什么。我想成为一名医生。”
She glares at James, as if he has contradicted her. "Then—fortunately—I came to my senses. I stopped trying to be different. I did just what all the other girls were doing. I got married. I gave all that up." A thick bitterness coats her tongue.
她瞪着詹姆斯，好像他反驳了她。“然后，幸运的是，我恢复了理智。我不再试图与众不同。我做了所有其他女孩都在做的事情。我结婚了。我放弃了一切。”一股浓浓的苦味笼罩着她的舌头。
"Do what everyone else is doing. That's all you ever said to Lydia. Make friends. Fit in. But I didn't want her to be just like everyone else." The rims of her eyes ignite. "I wanted her to be exceptional."
“做别人在做的事。你对莉迪亚也这么说过。交朋友。融入。但我不想让她和其他人一样。”她的眼圈发亮。“我希望她与众不同。”
On the stairs, Hannah holds her breath. She is afraid to move anything, even a fingertip.
在楼梯上，汉娜屏住呼吸。她什么都不敢动，哪怕是指尖。
Maybe if she stays perfectly still, her parents will stop talking. She can hold the world motionless, and everything will be all right.
也许如果她完全不动，她的父母就会停止说话。她能让世界静止，一切都会好起来的。
"Well, now you can marry this one," Marilyn says. "She seems like the serious type. You know what that means." She holds up her left hand, where the wedding ring glints dully.
“好吧，现在你可以娶这个了，”玛丽琳说。“她似乎是那种严肃的人。你知道那意味着什么。”她举起左手，手上的结婚戒指黯淡地闪烁着。
"A girl like that wants the whole package. Matchbox house, picket fence. Two-point-three kids."
“像她这样的女孩想要得到一切。火柴盒房子，尖桩栅栏。两三个孩子。”
She lets out one hard, sharp, terrifying bark of a laugh, and out on the landing, Hannah hides her face against Nath's arm.
她发出一声尖锐、可怕的狂笑，在楼梯平台上，汉娜把脸贴在纳的胳膊上。
"I suppose she'll be more than happy to trade student life for all that. I just hope she doesn't regret it." At this word—regret—something in James flares.
“我想她会非常乐意用学生生活来交换这一切。我只希望她不会后悔。”听到“后悔”这个词，詹姆斯内心突然燃烧着什么东西。
A hot biting smell, like overheating wires, pricks his nostrils. "Like you do?" A sudden and stunned silence.
一股灼热刺鼻的气味，就像过热的电线，刺激着他的鼻孔。“像你一样？”一阵突然的、震惊的沉默。
Though Hannah's face is still pressed into Nath's shoulder, she can picture her mother exactly: her face frozen, the rims of her eyes a deep red.
虽然汉娜的脸仍然压在纳的肩膀上，但她能准确地想象出母亲的样子：她的脸僵住了，眼圈变成了深红色。
If she cries, Hannah thinks, it won't be tears. It will be little drops of blood. "Get out," Marilyn says at last. "Get out of this house."
汉娜认为，如果她哭了，那不会是眼泪，而是几滴鲜血。“出去，”玛丽琳最后说。“滚出去。”
James touches his pocket for his keys, then realizes they are still in his hand: he had not even put them down. As if he had known inside, all along, that he would not be staying.
詹姆斯摸了摸口袋里的钥匙，然后意识到钥匙还在手里：他甚至没有把它们放下来。仿佛他心里早就知道，他是不会留下来的。
