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It did not bear discussion any more than that the sky was up, or that the earth circled the sun.
就像天空在上，地球绕着太阳转一样，这不值得讨论。
He had naively thought that—unlike with Marilyn's mother, unlike with everyone else—this thing made no difference to them.
他天真地认为，与玛丽琳的母亲和其他人不同，这件事对他们没有影响。
Now, when Marilyn says this—If she were a white girl—it proves what James has feared all along.
现在，当玛丽琳说“如果她是一个白人女孩”时，这就证明了詹姆斯一直以来的恐惧。
That inside, all along, she'd labeled everything. White and not white. That this thing makes all the difference in the world.
整句话里都是她贴的标签。白人和非白人。这件事改变了整个世界。
"If she were a white girl," he says, "none of this would ever have happened."
“如果她是一个白人女孩，”他说，“这一切都不会发生。”
Marilyn, still fuming at the police, does not understand, and her confusion makes her angrier. "What do you mean?"
玛丽琳还在对警察发火，她不明白詹姆斯的话，更生气了。“你这是什么意思？”
Under the kitchen light, her wrists are pale and thin, her lips set, her face cold.
在厨房的灯光下，她的手腕苍白而瘦削，嘴唇紧闭，脸颊冰凉。
James remembers: long ago, when they were young and the worst thing they could imagine was not being together, he had once leaned in to touch her, and his fingertips had left a trail of goose bumps across her shoulder blade.
詹姆斯回忆道：很久以前他们还年轻时，他们所能想象到的最糟糕的事情就是不能在一起，他曾经靠过来抚摸她，他的指尖在她的肩胛骨上留下了一串鸡皮疙瘩。
Every tiny hair on his arm had stood up, electrified. That moment, that connection, seems far away and small now, like something that happened in another life.
他胳膊上的每一根汗毛像是触电一般都竖起来。在那一刻的那种联系，现在看起来遥远而渺小，就像发生在另一个生命里的事情。
"You know what I mean. If she'd been a white girl—" The words are ash-bitter on his tongue. If she'd been a white girl. If I'd been a white man. "She would have fit in."
“你知道我的意思。如果她是个白人女孩——”他舌尖发涩。如果她是个白人女孩。如果我是个白人。“她会融入的。”
For moving would never have been enough; he sees that now. It would have been the same anywhere. Children of Mixed Backgrounds Often Struggle to Find Their Place.
他现在明白了搬家永远是不够的。在任何地方都是一样的。不同背景的孩子往往很难找到自己的位置。
The mistake was earlier, deeper, more fundamental: it had happened the morning they'd married, when the justice of the peace had looked at Marilyn and she had said yes.
这个错误更早、更深、更根本：悲剧发生在他们结婚的那天早上，治安法官看了看玛丽琳，她说愿意。
Or earlier, on that first afternoon they'd spent together, when he had stood beside the bed, naked and shy, and she had twined her legs around his waist and pulled him toward her.
或者更早的时候，他们一起度过的第一个下午，他赤身裸体，害羞地站在床边，她把腿盘在他的腰上，把他拉过来。
Earlier yet: on that first day, when she'd leaned across his desk and kissed him, knocking the breath out of him like a swift, sharp punch.
更早的时候：在第一天，她倚在他的桌子上，吻了他，像一记迅捷有力的重拳，使他无法呼吸。
A million little chances to change the future. They should never have married. He should never have touched her.
一百万个改变未来的小机会。他们不应该结婚。他不应该碰她。
She should have turned around, stepped out of his office into the hallway, walked away.
她应该转过身，走出他的办公室，走到走廊上，然后离开。
He sees with utter clarity: none of this was supposed to happen. A mistake.
他非常清楚地看到：这一切本不应该发生。他们的婚姻是一个错误。
"Your mother was right, after all," he says. "You should have married someone more like you."
“你妈妈毕竟是对的，”他说。“你应该嫁给一个和你更相似的人。”
Before Marilyn can say anything—before she knows whether to be angry or sad or hurt, before she really understands what James has said—he is gone.
在玛丽琳说话之前，在她生气、悲伤或感到受伤之前，在她真正理解詹姆斯所说的话之前，他已经走了。
This time, he does not bother to stop at the college. He drives straight to Louisa's, speeding through every traffic light, arriving out of breath, as though he'd run there on foot.
这一次，他没有在学院停留。他径直开到路易莎家，在每一个红绿灯前都开得飞快，上气不接下气，好像是步行去的。
"Is everything all right?" she says when she opens the door, still smelling of the shower, dressed but wet-haired, hairbrush in hand. "I didn't expect you so early."
“一切还好吗？”她说，她打开门时，身上还残留着沐浴的味道，穿着衣服，但头发湿了，手里拿着发刷。“没想到你会这么早来。”
It's only quarter to nine, and James hears the questions that ripple behind her surprise: Has he come to stay? What about his wife? He does not know the answers.
现在才8:45，詹姆斯听到了她惊讶背后的疑问：他要留下来吗？他的妻子呢？他不知道答案。
Now that he has finally pushed those words out into the air, he feels strangely light.
现在他终于把这些话说出来了，他意外地感到轻松。
The room wobbles and spins, and he sinks down onto the sofa. "You need to eat something," Louisa says.
房间摇晃着，旋转着，他在沙发上坐了下来。“你需要吃点东西，”路易莎说。
She steps into the kitchen and returns with a small Tupperware. "Here." Gently, she pries open the lid and nudges the box toward him.
她走进厨房，拿着一个小特百惠。“给你。”她轻轻撬开盒盖，把盒子推向他。
Inside lie three snow-colored buns, tops ruffled like peony heads ready to blossom, revealing a glint of deep tawny red within.
里面放着三个雪白的包子，顶部皱起，像即将绽放的牡丹花，露出里面泛着深茶色的红光。
The sweet scent of roast pork wafts up to his nose. "I made them yesterday," Louisa says. She pauses. "You know what these are?"
烤猪肉的香味飘进了他的鼻子。“我昨天做的，”路易莎说。她顿了一下。“你知道这些是什么吗？”
His mother had made these, long ago, in their tiny cinder-colored apartment.
很久以前，他的母亲就在他们那间灰红色的小公寓里做了这些东西。
