声音简介：看完《送你一朵小红花》，想到了这部电影

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上周末去看了电影《送你一朵小红花》很感动，讲的是关于两个青年癌症患者的故事。

看完我就想起了之前看过的一部根据真人故事改编的美国电影叫

The Fault in Our Stars《星运里的错》。

These two movies both tell the story about cancer. But the Fault in Our Stars has dig deeper into the meaning of life and death, and pain.

It follows Hazel Grace Lancaster, a 16-year-old cancer patient, who meets and falls in love with Gus Waters, another cancer patient from her cancer support group.

这两部电影讲的都是关于坠入爱河的两个癌症青年，他们认识也都是从癌症互助小组里，最后也都是其中一个先走了的结局。

不过《星运里的错》里除了聊爱情，对于如何面对疼痛的思考也对我启发很大。

电影一开始就说了，Pain demands to be felt. 疼痛应该被感知。

什么意思呢？

Everyone is afraid of feeling pain. Just like Hazel, she knows she’s gonna die soon, so she rejects to meet new people, to make new friends, and even to fall in love, because she thinks there’s supposed to be an unhappy ending.

大家都害怕经历疼痛。

就像Hazel最开始因为知道自己所剩时日可能不多，就拒绝认识新的朋友，因为觉得反正不会有好的结果，自己快死了。

可如果知道故事不会有好的结局，就不应该开始了吗？

这个怪圈其实跟男主Gus的担心是类似的。

他最害怕的事是Oblivion——被遗忘。

He thinks he’s supposed to be a hero, and supposed to be remembered by the world. He’s afraid that once he’s gone, everyone will forget him.

而Hazel反驳他说：

There will come a time when all of us are dead. All of us. There will come a time when there are no human beings remaining to remember that anyone ever existed or that our species ever did anything.

Everything that we did and built and wrote and thought and discovered will be forgotten and all of this will have been for naught.

Maybe that time is coming soon and maybe it is millions of years away, but even if we survive the collapse of our sun, we will not survive forever.

And if the inevitability of human oblivion worries you, I encourage you to ignore it. God knows that’s what everyone else does.

总有一天我们所有的人都会死去，可能人类也已经不存在了。

我们所有做过的、建设过的、写过的事、我们的想法、我们的发明，都会被遗忘。这是我们每个人必经的事。

每个人的终点都是死亡，

可要因为害怕死亡，害怕被遗忘，就拒绝所有的开始吗？

疼痛也是一种经历，它值得被感知。

只有感知疼痛，才能正视问题。

就像Hazel被诊断换抑郁症后，医生说这可能是癌症的副作用。

Hazel的反应是：

Whenever you read a cancer booklet or website or whatever, they always list depression among the side effects of cancer.

But, in fact, depression is not a side effect of cancer.

Depression is a side effect of dying.

“其实抑郁不是癌症的副作用，它是害怕死亡的副作用。

因为怕死，所以才抑郁了，而不是有了癌症就大概率会有抑郁症。”

所以Hazel才会那么喜欢Peter Van Houten那本关于死亡的书，想从里面寻找答案。

而男主Gus也同样启发了Hazel：

与其担心疼痛这种掌控不了的结果，不如掌控自己能掌控的。

就像他对香烟的隐喻：

Gus very often has a cigarette in his mouth, but he never lights it. He says,

"It's a metaphor, see: You put the killing thing right between your teeth, but you don't give it the power to do its killing."

他总是嘴里叼着一根烟却从不点燃它。因为他说：

“你看，它有伤害我的能力，但我不给它这个能力。”

类似的，他跟怕受伤而不敢爱的Hazel说：

“You don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world...but you do have some say in who hurts you.”

你没办法选择你会不会受伤，但你可以选择让谁来伤害你。

他下一句是：I like my choices. 我喜欢我的选择，不介意被你伤害。

多美的情话啊。

对于Gus来说，爱上Hazel就是自己无法控制的事，尽管他知道两个癌症患者想好好在一起有多难。既然无法控制，那就好好在一起。

他对Hazel表白的时候说的是：

"I'm in love with you, and I'm not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasure of saying true things. I'm in love with you, and I know that love is just a shout into the void, and that oblivion is inevitable, and that we're all doomed and that there will come a day when all our labor has been returned to dust, and I know the sun will swallow the only earth we'll ever have, and I am in love with you."

“我爱上你了，我并不打算否认这种说出真话的简单快乐。我知道爱说出来就像一句空话，我知道遗忘是无可避免的，我知道我们在劫难逃，总有一天我们的一切都会化作尘土。我知道太阳总有一天会吞噬我们的地球，但我还是爱上你了。”

所以他们选择了一起面对疼痛，也治愈了彼此。

至于该怎么和疼痛共处，Hazel的妈妈给出了答案。

在女儿担心自己去世后妈爸生活会很艰难的时候，Hazel的妈妈说：

Losing you..that is gonna hurt like hell. But you of all people know it’s possible to live with pain. You just do it. I’m taking classes in social work. You know if I can take what we’ve been through and help other people, maybe council families.

虽然失去女儿很伤心，但她可以参加社工活动，用这段经历去鼓励那些跟自己有类似情况的人。

虽然很痛，但一样可以继续生活——It's possible to live with pain. You just do it.

就像Gus的兄弟在失恋后砸东西、往前女友车上扔鸡蛋发泄，发泄完了还是可以好好的。

Hazel也是在参观纪念那本经典小说《安妮日记》的博物馆的时候，

听到Anne书里的话的语音的时候，才放下害怕死亡结局的执念，勇敢亲吻Gus。

书里Anne说的是：

At such moments, I can’t think about the misery, but about the beauty that still remains. Try to recapture the happiness within myself. Think of all the beauty in everything around you, and be happy.

在荷兰生活的犹太人Anne在荷兰被德军占领后，一家人藏在密室度过了充满恐怖的25个月的生活，最后只有Anne的爸爸活下来了，帮她出版了她的日记。

在这么艰难的情况下，Anne选择的和疼痛相处的方式就是——Think of all the beauty in everything around you, and be happy.

So pain still exists, but you can choose to be happy.

尽管疼痛还在，但你能尽量选择关注身边美好的人和事，选择快乐。

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