评论
打印
Hello psych2goers, we just want to take the time to thank you for all your kind support.
Psych2go的观众，大家好。我们想先感谢大家的支持。
We are a team of dedicated, passionate and hard-working individuals who come together every day with one goal in mind:
我们的团队里都是勤劳、刻苦且充满激情的小伙伴，大家聚在一起只为一个目标：
we want to make psychology come alive for you.
为大家带来更加鲜活的心理学知识。
Psychologists have reported that within the past 10 years, there has been a rise in mistrust between partners and romantic relationships.
心理学家报告称在过去十年里，伙伴和情侣间的猜忌越来越多。
With the wide spread of technology, it makes it easy to connect and reconnect with others
科技进步使得相互联系变得简单
but technology can cause people to feel isolated just as much as it expands our world of networking.
但是科技会让人觉得孤独，就像我们网络世界的扩张一样。
As a result, social connection is stifled from the challenges of being vulnerable.
因此，社会联系面临危机，变得越来越脆弱。
Here are six ways you can break free from your trust issues.
以下是6种帮助脱离信任问题的方法。
1. Ask yourself how your reactions line up with reality.
1.问问自己你的反应如何向现实看齐。
Our emotions exist to tell us when something is or isn't working
情绪的存在是为了告诉我们事情什么时候出问题了
but sometimes they can get the best of us and distract us from problem solving when we're being rash, angry or defensive.
但是有时情绪会胜过理智，并让我们无法专心解决问题，因为我们的愤怒或冲动。
As a result, the thoughts we have may not always be an honest perception of what is happening. Self-evaluation is key.
因此，我们的想法或许并不是对所发生事情的诚实反应。自我评估是关键。
It's important to recognize when you're quick to close yourself up from someone
重要的是意识到自己什么时候封闭自己
because you're expecting the worst even if it hasn't happened.
因为你觉得最糟糕的情况要发生了，即便这件事根本没发生。
2. Learn to be non-defensive when you communicate.
2.学会在沟通时放下戒心。
People like consistency. Even if a life situation is toxic we may be hesitant to embrace change because familiarity is more important to us.
人们喜欢一致性。即便生活状况很糟糕，我们或许会犹豫要不要迎接机遇，因为熟悉对我们更加重要。
That's why old habits are hard to break.
因此习惯很难改变。
This includes our communication patterns.
这当中就包括沟通模式。
Learn to be non-defensive by trying to understand where the other person is coming from.
学会不那么戒备，尝试理解对方。
Ask yourself if they're an actual threat or if that's what you've been training yourself to believe.
问问自己他们是否对你是真的威胁，或者这不过是你一直说服自己去相信的。
Chances are people take the time to talk to you because they care about you not because they want to hurt you.
很有可能对方和你聊天是因为他们关心你，而不是因为他们要伤害你。
3. Let people know what you need and be direct about it.
3. 让别人知道你需要什么，直接说出来。
Communication is a two-way street. People aren't mind readers.
沟通是双向的。人们不介意读心者。
Dropping hints and expecting people to play detective is only going to set you up for disappointment.
放出线索，期待别人像侦探一样，这样只会让你更加失望。
In order to build trust, you have to be open and honest
为了建立信任，你需要敞开心扉且诚实。
People often have trust issues because they are afraid of getting hurt.
人们有信任问题是因为他们害怕受伤害。
This is why we build up walls to protect ourselves but getting hurt is part of the process of growing and cultivating deep relationships.
因此我们建起围墙保护自己，但是受伤是建立深刻友谊的一部分。
Trust issues are developed when too much focus is concentrated on the pain but not enough on overcoming the pain.
当过于专注伤痛而非解决伤痛时，就会出现信任问题。
4. Give people a chance to show you who they are.
4. 给别人机会告诉你他们是谁。
We live in an era of instant gratification, we want relationships to be easy in immediate.
我们生活在即时满足的时代，我们希望能够即可轻松地建立友谊。
But people aren't vending machines and building trust doesn't just happen when we want it to.
但是人类不是自动贩卖机，建立信任只有在我们想去建立信任时才会发生。
We must learn to be patient and spend time with others to get to know them.
我们必须学会有耐心，花时间了解对方。
People often try to look for perfection when they have trust issues.
在出现信任问题时，人们常试图寻找完美。
As a result, they may seek perfection in others in order to avoid conflict
因此，为了避免冲突，他们或在别人身上寻找完美点
but superficial relationships aren't fulfilling, more healthy for making social connections.
但是肤浅的关系并不能让人满意，也不利于建立社会联系。
Give people time to show you their true colors and you may be surprised that you can go through challenges well together.
给对方时间展示自己的真实色彩，当你们穿过层层围墙突破挑战，你们或许会感到惊讶。
5. Practice open-ended conversations that allow disagreements.
5.练习开放式谈话，允许分歧。
It's easy to fall into the trap of anger or bottling our thoughts because we don't want to rock the boat.
人们很容易落入愤怒的陷阱中，因为我们不想找麻烦。
Rather than holding onto insecure thinking, practice having open-ended conversations and debates.
我们不能牢牢紧握不安全的想法，而应该进行窗开心扉的对话和辩论。
It's healthy to sometimes disagree and it's important to understand
有时存在分歧也是正常的，重要的是去理解
that others can view things differently without feeling a need to control, belittle or mold them.
对方可以持不同的观点，而无需被控制、被挖苦。
6. Confront your fears and don't allow them to hold control over you.
6.直面恐惧，不要让控住支配你。
Letting go is a scary thing and that fear sometimes never goes away but you need to decide if it's holding you back.
放手是一件可怕的事情，有时摆脱不掉恐惧，但是你需要决定恐惧是否让你退缩。
Remember you have the power to work through your struggles openly and honestly.
记住你可以坦率诚实地解决困境。
Don't allow self-doubt to bring you down, you have it in you to connect and build trust with others.
不要让自我怀疑把你击倒，你可以和他人建立信任。
What holds you back from trusting others? Please share your thoughts with us below.
是什么让你退缩无法和别人建立信任？请在下方留言告知。
