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Hey kids.Whenever I browse this site, I see more and more videos of people talking about things like Youtuber drama, the Election, world politics,
嘿，小孩。每次我上网，我看到越来越多的视频在谈论网红八卦、选举、世界政治之类的事情，
and it made me think hey, maybe I should start covering more relevant nuanced topics in my videos.
这让我想，嘿，也许我应该开始在我的视频中讲一些更重要、更细腻的话题。
Anyway, let's talk about chickens.
不管怎样，我们来谈谈鸡吧。
So the story of the chicken begins a long time ago in Southeast Asia.
鸡的故事始于很久以前的东南亚。
Now this area had a ton of bamboo growing all over the place,
这个地区到处都长着大量竹子。
and the thing about bamboo is it follows a very specific life cycle
而竹子有一个非常特殊的生命周期，
where once every 50 years or so every bamboo plant in a given region will blossom at the exact same time
大约每50年，某个特定地区的所有竹子都会在同一时间开花，
then shortly after they litter the whole area with these little seeds known as bamboo rice, or as I called them bambinos.
然后不久之后，所有竹子就会在整个地区撒下叫“竹米”的小种子，我把这个种子称作“竹宝宝”。
These pellets get planted, the current bamboo dies out, and the cycle starts over.
这些种子埋入地里，已有的竹子死掉，然后再次开始整个循环。
Now enter the ancestor of the domesticated chicken, known as the Red Jungle Fowl.
现在家鸡的祖先登场，祖先被称为红原鸡。
The jungle Fowl lived in the same area as the bamboo, and as you can imagine,
红原鸡与竹子生活在同一地区，所以你可以想象，
they got a lot of benefit out of being literally knee-deep in food once every half century.
这些鸡每过50年就有多到能埋住膝盖的食物，它们从中得了不少好处。
So much so that Evolution basically said: Alright, when food supplies go up,
以至于进化之神说：好的，当食物供应增加时，
I want you to just start pumping out babies like there's no tomorrow.
我希望你们像活不过第二天一样生孩子。
That way we can take as much advantage of each bloom as possible.
这样我们就可以尽可能多地利用每一次竹子开花的机会。
As a result, the chicken population became synchronized with the bamboo,
结果鸡的数量与竹子的数量同步了。
shooting up during blooms and dwindling in between.
在开花时鸡的数量飙升，在开花间隔期数量减少。
Then humans showed up and they saw this pattern,
然后人类出现了，他们看到了这个模式，
and they said: Wow, how bamboozling.
然后他们说：哇，好竹意。
And then they realized: Wait a minute that pun was dumb.
然后他们意识到，等一下，这个谐音梗很傻。
But also we can harness this whole chicken cycle thing.
但我们也可以利用鸡的周期这件事。
All we have to do is give these guys a whole bunch of food,
我们只需要给这些鸡一大堆食物，
and we can make their reproductive systems go into overdrive whenever we want!
然后就可以随时让它们的生殖系统超速运转！
Do you know what that means?
你知道这意味着什么吗？
Lots of hot bird porn?
会有很多禽类色情片？
No, it means we get as many eggs as we could ever dream of.
不，这意味着我们能得到多得超出想象的鸡蛋。
So with a bit of work, we managed to domesticate the chicken around 5000 BC.
所以经过一番努力，我们成功地在公元前5000年左右驯化了鸡。
And as you can imagine, the idea of having a literal egg-laying machine around the house was extremely popular,
你可以想象，在家里拥有一个下蛋机器是非常受欢迎的，
leading to the chickens spreading across the entirety of the civilized world over the course of a few millennia.
这让鸡在几千年的时间里遍布整个文明世界。
I think it's interesting that despite the fact that the west has had chickens for most of its history,
我觉得很有趣的是，虽然西方国家在大部分历史时间都有鸡，
it wasn't until way later that we figured out where they came from.
但直到很久以后我们才弄清楚鸡来自哪里。
Like: Alright men, it's time to delve into the world of the unknown.
就像：好的，伙计们，是时候深入未知的世界了。
We're gonna see things the likes of which man has never laid eyes upon before.
我们将会看到人类从未见过的景象。
But if you keep your wits about you, We just might make it out of here alive.
如果你保持警觉，我们或许能活着离开这里。
Hey, is this this yours?
嘿，这是你的鸡吗？
No.
不是。
Weird.
奇怪啊。
What the hell!
什么情况！
Of course, having a constantly supercharged uterus is not without its drawbacks.
当然，拥有一个持续过度活跃的子宫并非没有缺点。
After all the chicken essentially goes through its entire menstrual cycle every day.
毕竟鸡基本上每天都要经历整个月经周期。
So next time your girlfriend's complaining about how bad her period is,
所以下次你女朋友抱怨她来姨妈很难受时，
get her a box of chocolates and be generally attentive to her needs.
给她买一盒巧克力，并时常关注她的需求。
You prick.
你这个混蛋。
Anyway, one thing with chickens and most other egg-laying critters
总之，鸡和大多数其他产蛋动物都有一个共同点，
is that they only have one hole in their pelvic region, which is called a Cloaca, I think.
就是它们的骨盆区域只有一个洞，这个洞叫做泄殖腔，好像是这个名。
Or "Clo-a-ca"? Cloaca?
还是克洛阿卡？克洛卡？
So the Croatia basically acts like a funnel,
反正这个克罗地亚就像一个漏斗一样，
taking all the eggs and waste and sending it down the same chute.
所有蛋和排泄物都通过同一个斜槽排出去。
And while this might sound convenient at first, there is one fatal disadvantage that affects chickens in particular.
这种构造乍一听很方便，但有一个尤其会影响到鸡的致命缺点。
Sometimes the egg can get stuck on its way out, leading to a condition known as egg binding.
有时鸡蛋在排出的过程中可能会卡住，导致一种被称为“卡蛋”的情况。
And since this means nothing can exit the clamato anymore,
由于这意味着任何东西都无法再排出去了，
the egg-bound chicken ends up dying of constipation over the course of a couple days.
因此这只卡蛋的鸡最终会在几天内死于便秘。
Hey Jerry, how you doing?
嘿，杰瑞，你好吗？
Ah, not good, Shawn, not good.
啊，不好，肖恩，不好。
Oh man, what's wrong?
哦，老兄，怎么了？
It's just ever since Jenni got egg-bound, things have been so stressful.
自从珍妮卡蛋了，我就压力很大。
Her funeral expenses are through the roof,
她葬礼的费用高得离谱，
and her memory means so much to me. But...
悼念她对我来说很重要，但……
if the bills keep coming in like this, I'm not sure my family will be able to handle it.
如果一直有这么多账单要付，我不确定我这个家还能不能撑得住。
Well. Hey man.You know what they say,
嗯。嘿，伙计。你知道那句话怎么说来着，
don't put all your eggs in one casket.
不要把所有鸡蛋放在一个棺材里。（注：化用“不要把所有鸡蛋放在一个篮子里”。）
Let's just hope she doesn't get egg-zoomed.
但愿她的尸体不会被挖出来。（注：egg-zoom听起来像exhume。）
I'm sorry.
对不起。
Don't ever contact me, or my kids ever again.
永远不要再联系我或者我的孩子。
I understand.
明白了。
Anyway, that's all for today. Till next time.
总之，今天就到这里了。下次见。
I'm Sam O'Nella, and thank you for watching.
我是山姆·奥内拉，感谢观看。
