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Look, I forgot my underwear.
我把内裤落在里面了。
So, thanks so much for for bringing her to the hospital.
谢谢你送她来医院。
Oh hey, don't worry about it man. Don't worry about it, no big deal.
别放在心上，没有什么大不了。
Yeah but still, I mean it should've been me. I'm the dad.
但应该由我送她来，我毕竟是孩子他爸。
If you have any questions, here's some information on Braxton Hicks. Thanks.
如果还有疑问，这是假性宫缩的资料。 谢谢。
Oh and by the way, you did the right thing by bringing her in. You're gonna make a wonderful father.
对了，你送她过来是对的。你会是个好爸爸。
Hey, not as good as this guy. He brought Twizzlers.
我没有这家伙厉害，他买了糖果。
There's got to be a way.
一定会有办法。
Easy there, Captain Kirk.
别紧张，寇克船长。
Oh, do you have a bobby pin? Yeah.
你有发夹吗？ 有。
Oh, no, wait. I'm not a 9 year old girl.
不对，我不是九岁的小女孩。
Then why do you throw like one?
那为什么你投球的时候很像？
Maybe Monica has a bobby pin.
或许莫妮卡有发夹。
Oh, sure, "Monica."
是啊，"莫妮卡"什么都有。
So, how's the hideously inappropriate crush on Rachel coming?
你暗恋瑞秋那事怎么样了？
Uh, really good. Really good. Yeah, I should be ready to kill myself any day now.
很不错，我该随时做好自杀的准备。
Well, you sure found that quick.
你这么快就找到了。
I just I wish I didn't feel this way about Rachel anymore, you know? I wish things could go back to normal.
我真希望对瑞秋的感觉能淡去。我希望一切能恢复正常。
I mean, I love living with her and God, helping out with the baby is just amazing, but now I think...I think Ross feels left out. You know?
我喜欢跟她一起住，在怀孕期间照顾她感觉也很棒。但罗斯会觉得自己像个局外人。
When I had to take Rachel to the hospital, the doctor thought I was the father. God...You should've seen the look on Ross's face.
我送瑞秋去医院，医生还以为我是孩子他爸。罗斯的表情很不自然。
By the way, I have no idea what I'm doing here. For all I know, I'm just locking it more. Oh hey, did you try opening it with a credit card?
我不知道自己在干嘛。我只知道锁越捅越紧。你试过用信用卡吗？
That's a good idea. Okay.
好点子。 好。
So Ross is kind of bummed, huh?
罗斯有点失落是吧？
I just...I feel terrible.
我感觉很过意不去。
Well, it's not your fault. What are you gonna do, not take her to the hospital?
那不是你的错。不然你要怎么做，不送她去医院吗？
You know? You're doing nothing wrong. Except for harboring an all consuming love for the woman who's carrying his baby.
你没做错事。但你不该爱上怀着他孩子的女人。
Richard, if you're in there, could you pass me my credit card?
理查德，如果你在里面，麻烦把信用卡递给我可以吗？
Hey. Hey.
嘿。 嗨。
I gotta tell you, yesterday was amazing. That massage felt so good.
我不得不说，你昨天的技术真的很棒。按摩感觉舒服极了。
No no, I I got that.
我懂的。
So, what do you say we make it a weekly appointment?
你能每星期帮我按摩一次吗？
Ok. Ok well you should know though, I've raised my rates to $200 an hour.
好吧。但你得知道，我的时薪涨到两百块了。
Okay. I mean 500.
好吧。 我是说五百块。
What? 600.
什么？ 六百块。
What's going on?
怎么回事？
Oh, you make sex noises when you get massaged!
我给你按摩你的时候，你会发出叫床声。
What? Yeah, and it really freaked me out!
什么？ 我一下子就乱了手脚！
And after a while I even tried to hurt you and it just spurred you on.
之后我想用力弄痛你，结果你叫得更大声。
What? You're crazy. There's nothing sexual about the noises I make.
什么？你疯了吧。我的叫声一点都不淫荡。
Really? There's nothing sexual about this? Oooh. Oh God! Ohh. Ohhhh. Ohh.
是吗？这样一点都不淫荡吗？天啊！
What are you looking at? I mean, hi.
你看什么看？我是说，嗨。
Oh my This is so embarrassing. Oh my God, I'm I'm never gonna get massaged again!
这简直太丢脸了。我再也不按摩了。
No, you can't let this stop you from getting massages.
别让这个问题害你放弃按摩。
No look, I have, I have lots of clients that make the same noises you do!
我有很多客人也会发出那种叫声。
Really? Well, not clients. Lovers.
真的吗？ 好吧，他们不是客人，是床伴。
Let's just you know, try it again. Come back and and we'll work through it.
我们再试一次。再来找我，我们想办法解决。
You sure? Yes.
你确定？ 对。
I guess. Great! Ok, now, just, if you'll just excuse me.
好吧。 太棒了，失陪一下。
So did you hear something you liked?
你刚才听到你中意的声音了吗？
Hey, Ross, check it out! I learned a new trick.
罗斯，你看，我学到了新把戏。
Hey, I brought you some lunch.
我帮你买了午餐。
Oh, that's so sweet of you. Oh, yum.
你真的太贴心了。美味啊。
Did you put pickles on this? Well, yeah.
你放了腌黄瓜吗？ 对。
What? What? Rach, what?
怎么？瑞秋，怎么了？
What's going on?
发生了什么事？
I made her favorite, tuna salad with pickles.
我帮她带了最爱吃的腌黄瓜金枪鱼三明治。
Pickle? Pickle makes her sick. Giving her pickle is like giving me salad.
腌黄瓜？那会让她恶心。让她吃腌黄瓜就像让我吃沙拉。
I'm sorry Rach, I didn't know. Are you gonna be okay?
抱歉，我不知道。你还好吗？
Yeah, I'll be fine. But could someone please make sure that sandwich is gone when I get out there?
我没事。趁我不在，谁能赶紧把那个三明治给解决掉？
I'm on it!
我在吃了。
I can't believe this. I shouldn't be the one making her throw up.
怎么会这样。我不该惹她恶心的。
Relax, Ross. It could happen to anyone.
放轻松，罗斯。谁都可能做出这种事。
Yeah, not to you. 'Cause you know this stuff. I don't know any of it and I'm the father.
你就不会，因为你了解她。我什么都不知道，亏我还是孩子他爸。
I wish I could be more involved, you know?
真希望自己能更多地参与其中。
Well, if anyone is keeping score, I no longer eat tuna.
谁帮我记下来，我绝不会再吃金枪鱼了。
Hey uh, can I, can I talk to you guys for a second?
我能跟你们谈一谈吗？
Yeah. What's up?
可以啊。 怎么了？
Sit down. I wanna talk about our situation.
坐吧，我想谈谈我们现在的情况。
Are you breaking up with us?
你要跟我们分手吗？
The thing is because I live with Rachel, I'm here for a lot of stuff. And Ross...Ross is missing everything. So...
我想说的是，因为我跟瑞秋一起住，我参与了不少事情。而罗斯却不断错过，所以……
Yeah?
怎么了？
Maybe you two should live together.
也许你们两个应该住在一起。
Are you asking me to move out? You don't want me here?
你要我搬出去吗？你不想让我住在这里了？
Oh no no, no no, I love living with you. It just seems that...if you're gonna have a roommate, you know, it might as well be the father.
不是，我喜欢跟你一起住。只不过，要找室友，也最好是孩子他爸。
But, Joey, I don't think Ross wants me to move into his apartment and disrupt his life like that. I mean Or he does.
乔伊，我觉得罗斯不希望我搬过去干扰他的生活。或许他希望我搬过去。
No I I I would love to be around for you and the baby. And we we can just try it like on a temporary basis.
我很乐意照顾你跟宝宝。我们可以先试一阵子。
But Ross, it's you and me.
但咱们有太多过往。
So? Sure! But it it wouldn't be anything romantic. And I'm I'm dating Mona Damn it Mona!
对，但我们不会有感情牵扯。我在和蒙娜交往。该死，又把蒙娜忘了！
I was supposed to meet her like an hour ago. What is wrong with me?
我跟她约好一小时前见面。我这是怎么了？
So, what do you think?
你们意下如何？
I don't know. Is it crazy? No, no, it's not...Joey, this is a smart idea.
我不知道，那很疯狂吧？ 不，乔伊，这是个聪明点子。
Well, I was due.
我早该想到的。
Okay, let's do it. I'll move in.
就这么办吧，我搬过去。
Really? Yeah.
真的吗？ 对。
Uh, Rach, that's great. That's great.
瑞秋，那真是太棒了。
Not too shabby. I got this all off myself using my wife's tools.
还不赖嘛，我自己就把这玩意卸下来了，用我老婆的工具。
Oh, my God.
我的天啊。
How did you get in there?
你是怎么把它打开的？
You're messy.
你很邋遢。
No! You weren't supposed to see this!
不！你不该看到这个场面的！
I married Fred Sanford.
我娶了弗雷德·山福德。
No, Chandler, you don't understand.
钱德勒，你不了解。
Ok! Ok! Ok! Fine! Now you know.
好吧，现在你知道了。
Ok? I'm you know...I'm sick. No, honey, you're not sick.
我很病态。 不，老婆，你不病态。
Look, I don't love you because you're organized. I love you in spite of that.
我爱你不是因为你井井有条。不论如何，我都爱你。
Really?
真的吗？
Promise you won't tell anyone? Yes.
你发誓不会告诉任何人？ 好。
And look, now that I know if I got some extra stuff lying around, can we share the closet?
既然我知道了，那如果我有多余的东西可以也放进那个储藏室吗？
Well...It's just...I'm afraid you might mess it up.
可是……我怕你会把里面弄乱。
Hey. Hey.
嗨。 嗨。
So Rachel's all moved out? How are you taking it?
瑞秋彻底搬出去了？你还好吧？
I wanted to have a few beers, but I got rid of those because Rachel couldn't stand the smell of them.
我本想喝几瓶啤酒，但我把啤酒都丢了，因为瑞秋受不了那个味道。
So. I have thrown back a lot of orange juice with calcium you know. And uh, it's a couple weeks past its expiration date, so it's got a bit of a kick.
我买了不少加钙的柳橙汁。已经过期几星期了，所以会有点酒精的效力。
Are you okay?
你没事吧？
You kidding me? Yeah, I'm great. I'm better than great. I am good.
开什么玩笑？我棒极了。我好到不能再好，我很好。
And now that she's gone, I can uh, I can do all this stuff around here that I couldn't do before. You know?
现在她搬走了，我可以做以前不能做的事了。
Like umm, I can walk around naked again. You know? I can uh, I can watch porn in the living room.
譬如……我又能脱光衣服到处走了。我可以……我可以在客厅看黄片。
This is uh, this is good for me. You know? I like being on my own, I'm uh, better off this way. I'm uh, a lone wolf. You know? A loner. Alone. All alone. Forever.
这对我来说是件好事。我喜欢一个人过日子，我喜欢这个样子。我是一匹孤独的狼。我是个孤单的硬汉。永远都是一个人。
What's a wolf gotta do to get a hug around here?
狼都哀嚎成这样了，怎么还没人给个拥抱呢？
That's it, just relax. Ohh. Oh! Ohh!
好了，放轻松。 哦。哦！哦！
Come on, more. Oh, God!
加油，再来。 天啊！
Yeah, you like that don't you?
你喜欢那样，对吧？
Yeah, right there.
对，就是那里。
You want it there? You take it there baby!
你要吗？我这就给你，宝贝。
Phoebe? Yeah, say my name. Say it.
菲比？ 对，喊我的名字，快点。
And now I'm going to cover you back up. And I won't be speaking with you for several weeks.
现在我要帮你盖上被子。我接下来几周不会再跟你说话了。
