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Phoebe: You know it's funny, you'd think I'd be angry. I mean, you'd think I'd wanna rip his tiny little head off. Fortunately, I'm past it.
说也奇怪，我应该很生气。我应该很想扭断他那颗头，幸好我已经释怀了。
Monica: Phoebe, you do seem a little tense. Here, let me help ya.
你看起来的确有点紧张，我帮你捏一捏。
Phoebe: Oh yeah.
好。
Phoebe: Oh! Get off! Ow! Oh, stop it! Why? ! Why are you doing that to me? !
放开我！住手！你为什么这样害我？
Monica: What're you talking about?
你在说什么？
Phoebe: As a masseuse and a human, I'm begging you, never do that to anyone!
身为一个按摩师和一个人类，我恳求你永远别帮别人按摩！
Monica: I give good massages! I mean I used to give them to Rachel all the time before she got allergic! And-and-and Chandler, like loves them! Watch!
我很会按摩啊！我在瑞秋患了过敏症以前都帮她按摩的。钱德也很喜欢，你看。
Phoebe: He-he does not like it! He hates it! He's in pain!
他才不喜欢，他痛得快要死了！
Monica: No he's not!
他才没有！
Chandler: Yes, he is!
他有！
Monica: What?
什么？
Chandler: I'm sorry but, ow-owww-owww!
对不起，但是……
Monica: You've been lying to me? I-I can't believe you do that.
你一直在骗我？我真不敢相信。
Ross: Well, maybe he just didn't wanna hurt your feelings.
也许他只是不希望你难过。
Monica: But the minute we start to lie to each other...
但我们一旦开始欺骗对方……
Monica: And by 'we' I mean society.
我说的“我们”指的是社会。
The Casting Director: Any time you're ready, Joey.
你好了就开始。
Joey: Ok. Well, you must be new here. We get a table and I'll buy you a drink.
你一定是新来的。我们找张桌子，我请你喝一杯。
The Casting Director: I'm sorry. Could you, could you try it without the purse?
抱歉，你能不能不要背皮包？
Joey: Yeah, sure. Well, you must be new here. Maybe we sit- I'm sorry, can I ask you something?
当然可以。你一定是新来的，我们找张……抱歉，我可以问一件事吗？
The Casting Director: Sure. What?
可以，什么事？
Joey: Well, first it's not a purse.
第一，这不是皮包。
The Casting Director: Ok, anytime.
好，随便吧。
Joey: I mean if-if you're thinking it's a woman's bag, it's not. It's a man's bag!
别以为这是女用皮包，这是男用提包！
The Casting Director: Okay! And, go!
好的，继续吧！
Joey: All right look, let me show you the catalog! I- Look- See? Huh? It's the latest thing! Everyone's got one! Men! Women! Children! Everyone's carrying them!
我拿型录给你看！你看，这是最新流行，男人、女人、小孩都在背。
The Casting Director: Umm, do you sell these bags?
你在推销这些包包吗？
Joey: No. No-no-no, these babies sell themselves.
不是，这些包包摆着就能卖。
The Casting Director: Ok! Thank you! That was great!
好，谢谢，你表现得很好！
Joey: Yeah but I didn't even read anything.
我什么都还没念。
The Casting Director: I think we've seen enough!
我想这样就够了！
Joey: Ok! All right, I'll see you. We got it! We got it!
那好，再见。搞定了，搞定了！
Chandler: Hey, is Rachel here?
瑞秋在吗？
Monica: No.
不在。
Chandler: Listen, I just wanted to apologize about this afternoon and the whole massage thing. You know? I-I really like 'em.
听我说，我想为下午和按摩的事道歉。我很喜欢你的按摩。
Monica: Oh, please, stop! Ok, we're supposed to be honest with each other. I-I just wish you could tell me- just say, "I don't like your massages."
别再硬撑了！我们应该坦诚相对，我只希望你能明白告诉我 “我不喜欢你的按摩”。
Chandler: I don't like your massages.
我不喜欢你的按摩。
Monica: See? It's no big deal.
看吧，又没什么。
Chandler: Ok, but now see you're crying!
但是你哭了！
Monica: I'm not crying about that! I'm crying about something that happened at work.
我不是在哭这个，我是在哭工作的事。
Chandler: What?
什么事？
Monica: My boyfriend said he didn't like my massages.
我男朋友说他不喜欢我的按摩。
Chandler: It's ok, you don't have to be the best at everything.
你又不必事事都抢第一。
Monica: Oh my God! You don't know me at all!
天哪，你一点也不了解我！
Chandler: Ok, you give the worst massages in the world.
好，你的按摩技术是世界最烂的。
Monica: I'm crying here!
我在哭耶！
Chandler: Look, hear me out. Ok? You give the best bad massages.
听我说完，比烂的话你最棒。
Chandler: If anybody was looking for the best bad massage and they were thinking to themselves, "Who's the best of that?" They'd have to go to you.
如果有人在找最棒的烂按摩，他们自问：谁的烂技术最棒？那绝对非你莫属。
Monica: Huh. So you're saying like umm, if there was an award for the best bad massage, well who would get that?
你的意思是，如果有最佳烂按摩技术奖，那谁会得奖？
Chandler: Oh, it would be you! You! Monica! And you'd get all the votes!
一定是你，你，莫妮卡！你会大获全胜！
Monica: So maybe they could umm, call the award the Monica?
或许这个奖可以叫莫妮卡奖？
Chandler: Absolutely!
一定会的！
Monica: Ok. I suck!
好吧，我烂透了！
Chandler: Yeah!
没错！
Phoebe: Thank you for meeting with me.
谢谢你来见我。
Frank Sr. : Thank you. All right.
谢谢。
Phoebe: Come, sit. Sit. Sit! Umm, all righty, um, before we get started I just- I need you to state for the you know official record that you are in fact Frank Buffay.
这边坐，坐啊，坐！好的，在开始之前，你必须郑重声明，你其实是弗兰克·布菲。
Frank Sr. : Oh yes. Yes, yes, I am, uh-hmm.
是的，我是。
Phoebe: Ok.
好的。
Frank Sr. : So, what did Francis leave me?
好，法兰西丝留给我什么？
Phoebe: Huh?
哈？
Frank Sr. : Well, that's why you wanted-wanted me to come, right?
这是你找我来的原因吧？
Phoebe: Oh yes. Yes. Yeah- no, she did. She left you umm, this lipstick.
是的，的确有，她留给你……这支口红。
Frank Sr. : Oh. Huh. It's huh, well it's oh it's- ew used. Umm, cool.
这真是……这是用过的。酷。
Phoebe: Ok. I have just a few questions to ask so I'm gonna get out my official forms. Ok, so, question 1, you and uh, you were married to Francis' daughter Lilly, is that correct?
好，我要请教几个问题，我把相关表格拿出来。好，第一个问题，你娶了法兰西丝的女儿莉莉，正不正确？
Frank Sr. : Yes, yes I was.
对，没错。
Phoebe: Ok, umm, question 2, umm, did that marriage end A.Happily; B.Medium; or C.In the total abandonment of her and her two children?
好，第二个问题，这段婚姻一：很美满，二：普通，三：你最后抛妻弃子？
Frank Sr. : It really says that?
表上真的这么写？
Phoebe: Yeah. See?
对，你看。
Frank Sr. : Well then I guess then I-I would have to say C.
那我就得选三了。
Phoebe: Hmm, ok, total abandonment. Uh-huh.
好，抛妻弃子。
Phoebe: Ok, reasons for abandonment, um, A.Top secret government work; B.Amnesia, or C. you're just a, selfish, irresponsible bad, bad man?
抛弃的原因，一：极机密政府工作，二：失意症，或是三：你就是个自私不负责的大坏蛋？
Frank Sr. : You know what, I don't think I want the lipstick that much. But umm...Oh, would you do me a favor? And umm, would you, would you give Lilly that, please?
其实我没那么想要这支口红。请你帮个忙，把这个交给莉莉。
Phoebe: What? !
什么？
Frank Sr. : Well Lilly, when you see Lilly would you give her that, that note? Because I wanted to talk to her at the memorial but, well I pictured her getting mad at me the way you got mad at me and I felt, right, chickened out.
请把那张纸条交给她。我本来想在告别式上找她谈，但我觉得她也会像你这样发飙，就临阵退缩了。
Frank Sr. : So, uh, I wrote her that note, would you give it to her please?
我写了那张纸条，请帮我转交。
Phoebe: But you-you-you came to see Lilly?
你想来找莉莉？
Frank Sr. : Yeah, yeah. Why?
对，怎么了？
Phoebe: Lilly's dead.
莉莉死了。
Frank Sr. : She what? !
什么？
Phoebe: She's dead.
她死了。
Frank Sr. : Are you sure?
你确定？
Phoebe: Well, if she isn't cremating her was a big mistake.
没死就被火化就严重了。
Frank Sr. : I can't believe this. I just- I can't believe this. How-how- oh my God. How, how long ago?
我真不敢相信，怎么会……天哪，多久的事？
Phoebe: 17 years ago.
17年前。
Frank Sr. : Oh! What, what about the girls?
那孩子们呢？
Phoebe: Well, Ursula is a waitress and-and she lives in SoHo. And Phoebe, is on this couch.
乌苏拉在当服务生，住在苏活。菲比……就坐在这张沙发上。
Phoebe: Yep, lipstick and a daughter, big day for you, huh.
没错，口红和女儿，真是好日子。
Frank Sr. : Phoebe, I-I-I, umm, Oops. I just, I-I-I-I don't know, I don't know what to say. I just can't believe that you're my daughter, you're so pretty.
菲比，我……我不知道该说什么。你居然是我的女儿，你长得这么漂亮。
Phoebe: Yes. Well, that's neither here nor there.
那个跟这个无关。
Frank Sr. : So would it, would it make you feel better if I said that I was very, very sorry I left?
如果我说我很抱歉，你会不会好过一点？
Phoebe: You know what, it doesn't matter what you say it's not gonna make a difference anyway, so you can just go.
你说什么都没区别了，所以你可以走了。
Frank Sr. : All right. Well, you know, in my defense I was a lousy father.
好……我要辩解一下，我很不会当爸爸。
Phoebe: That's a defense?
这叫辩解？
Frank Sr. : Yes. I-, it is. I burned the formula and I put your diapers on backwards. I mean, I made up a song to sing you to sleep, but that made you cry even more!
没错，我把牛奶烧焦，把尿布包反。我写了一首歌哄你睡觉，结果你哭得更厉害！
Phoebe: You make up songs?
你会写歌？
Frank Sr. : Well no, just-just that one. But, it was stupid. I-, Let's see, how did it, how did it go. Umm.Yeah, ok
只有那一首，不过很白痴，我想想怎么唱……对……
Frank Sr. : Sleepy girl, sleepy girl. Why won't you go to sleep? Sleepy girl, sleepy girl. You're, you're, you're keeping me up! Yeah.
瞌睡虫，瞌睡虫，你为什么不睡觉？瞌睡虫，瞌睡虫，你害我不能睡觉！好。
Frank Sr. : I just, I you know, I'm not very good at this. So, umm...
我实在……这种事我不太行。
Phoebe: Well, I am.
我很行。
Phoebe: Not yet, no.
现在还不行。
Joey: Hi.
嗨。
All: Hey!
嗨。
Chandler: Hey man, how did the audition go?
结果如何？
Joey: Estelle said I didn't get it.
艾斯黛说没中。
Rachel: What? ! Why? Joey you were so ready for it!
什么？你准备得那么充分！
Joey: Yeah, I thought so too but, she said the casting people had some problems with me.
我也这么想，但她说选角的人对我有意见。
Ross: What kind of problem?
什么意见？
Joey: Well to tell you the truth, they uh, they had a problem with the bag!
老实说，他们不喜欢这个包包！
Chandler: Oh my God!
天哪，怎么会！
Joey: You know what? It was a stupid play anyway!
反正也是出烂戏！
Monica: You know, Joey, I think it's time to give up the bag.
乔伊，你该放弃这个包包了。
Joey: I don't wanna give up the bag. I don't have to give up the bag! Do I Rach? You think I should give up the bag!
我不想放弃它！我不必放弃它，对吧瑞秋？你觉得我应该放弃！
Rachel: Honey wait, Joey, I'm sorry, I mean as terrific as I think you are with it...
乔伊，对不起，我觉得你背起来很帅……
Chandler: Oh, hey!
嗨！
Rachel: I just don't know if the world is ready for you and your bag.
但世人或许还没办法接受你和你的包。
Joey: I can't believe I'm hearing this!
你居然这么说！
Rachel: Wait a minute! Wait a minute! I'm not saying that you shouldn't have a bag, I just- it's just there are other bags. You know, that are maybe a little less umm,controversial.
等等，我不是说你不该带包包，但有其他争议性比较小的包包。
Chandler: Yeah umm, they're called wallets.
对，叫做皮夹。
Joey: You're right. You're right. This-this bag has become like a part of me. You know? It's like...my bag. You know, I had a place for everything. It's- Oh Man!
你们说得对，只是它已经成为我的一部分，它就像是……我的包包，什么东西都有地方摆。天呐！
Monica: What?
怎么了？
Joey: There's a whole series of pockets here I didn't even know about, Rach. Look.
有一组暗袋我居然没发现，瑞秋，看！
Phoebe: Ursula, I have the most amazing news. I found our dad. Phoebe!
乌苏拉，我有个天大的消息，我找到咱们的爸爸了。我是菲比！
Phoebe: Your sister. And I found our dad. John Glenn? John Glenn is not our dad. No, I will not join you in the lawsuit against him.
你妹妹，我找到爸爸了。约翰·格里恩（影星）？约翰·格里恩不是我们的爸爸不，我不会跟你一起告他的。
Phoebe: It- it doesn't matter that he wasn't there while we were growing up. He's not our father! What do you mean that's for a jury to decide?
他没看着我们长大又怎样，他又不是我们的爸爸。你是说帮陪审团做决定？
