None of This Is Fair
毫无公平可言
Richard Rodriguez
理査德•罗德里格斯
My plan to become a professor of English—my ambition during long years in college at Stanford, then in graduate school at Columbia and Berkeley—was complicated by feelings of embarrassment and guilt. So many times I would see other Mexican-Americans and know we were alike only in race. And yet, simply because our race was the same, I was, during the last years of my schooling, the beneficiary of their situation. Affirmative Action programs had made it all possible. The disadvantages of others permitted my promotion; the absence of many Mexican-Americans from academic life allowed my designation as a "minority student."
我要成为一名英语教授的人生规划早就当我在斯坦福大学以及随后在哥伦比亚大学和加州大学伯克利分校研究生院读书时就形成了,却因为尴尬和愧疚之感而变得复杂。很多次我看见其他墨西哥裔美国人,我知道我们只是在种族上一样。然而,仅仅因为我们种族相同,在我求学生涯的最后几年,我成为了他们的状况的受益者平权法案使得这一切成为可能。他人的弱势使我的提升成为可能;学术界中没有多少墨西哥裔美国人,这使得我被指定为“少数群体学生”成为可能。
For me opportunities had been extravagant. There were fellowships, summer research grants, and teaching assistantships. After only two years in graduate school, I was offered teaching jobs by several colleges. Invitations to Washington conferences arrived and I had the chance to travel abroad as a "Mexican-American representative." The benefits were often, however, too gaudy to please. In three published essays, in conversations with teachers, in letters to politicians and at conferences, I worried the issue of Affirmative Action. Often I proposed contradictory opinions. Though consistent was the admission that—because of an early, excellent education—I was no longer a principle victim of racism or any other social oppression . I said that but still I continued to indicate on application for financial aid that I was a Hispanic-American. It didn't really occur to me to say anything else, or to leave the question unanswered.
对我而言,机会是非常多的,包括奖学金、夏季研究补助金和助教的职位。在研究生院待了仅两年后,便有好几所大学向我提供教学岗位。我被邀请去参加华盛顿会议,并得到以“墨西哥裔美国人代表”的身份去国外旅游的机会。然而,这些优待往往华而不实,我无法因此而高兴起来。在三篇发表的论文中,在和老师的谈话中,在写给政客的信中以及在会议中,我都提到了对平权法案的忧虑。通常我都提出反对意见。我一直认为,因为早期良好的教育,我不再是种族歧视或者其他社会压迫的受害者。虽然我嘴上那样说,但在申请经济资助时我仍然继续暗示我是西班牙裔美国人。我从来没有想过说其他的内容或者对这个问题不予回答。