You suck at cooking, yeah you totally suck.

Making pesto eggs, also known as pegging, is both an art and a science.

Pesto eggs method number one is pesto fried eggs.

This took off a few years ago and the logic is, since there's oil in pesto, let's pretend it's butter.

Going to crack this egg right into the middle.

We'll add in a little flavor glitter and some pepper pesto pepper.

Fun fact: when you cover eggs like this, you're harnessing the exact same technology that used to power train.

Now cook these for around 88 miles an hour.

Pesto was originally meant as a cold sauce, but that's only because it was invented before heat was discovered.

Oh, I went way too far, with these, cuz I got distracted.

All right and Devon, can you re-shoot these so they're not as overcooked and look better? Perfect.

Method number two is feta pesto fried eggs, also known as festo fried eggs.

Let's go pesto in the middle.

I'm pretty sure that's what a neutron star looks like.

All right yeah, we're getting gooshy, we're getting goochy.

They were making emergency snack purses at a feta for a while.

A little bit of flavor glitter, some triple P.

If you're wondering if this lid came with this pan, it did.

And you want to plate that.

Put that on your cutting board.

Push the zucchini away.

Don't worry about that zucchini, that's nothing.

This is looking really good.

I'm just going to assume it tastes amazing.

Yes, I did put mayo on the toast.

This is French Italian Fusion, you're welcome.

It's time to make pesto.

And we're going to make it the way Mark Pesto, the inventor of pesto, intended.

With a mortar and pestle.

I think this is the pestle.

Fun fact: we're going to start by getting our garlic in there.

I'm throwing in quite a lot of garlic.

And the reason for this is, these words have never come out of my mouth, this tastes too garlicky.

I'm going to put in a big pinch of coarse salt.

And then I'm just going to start pounding it with the pounder, aka the pestle, aka the pesto nestler, aka the make a messel.

Since this is raw, I'm going to do the respectful thing and use a fork to de-garlicize this instead of my finger.

Once that starts looking like...it doesn't matter what it looks like, I'm going to start adding in basil.

So start with exactly that much.

And then we're going to pulverize it into smithereens.

By the way, if you have one of these and there's like a harness attached, just take the harness off first.

Let's respectfully clean this smithereeny stick.

So I got my pinenuts here; I toasted them a bit; do you want to see how?

This might be a good time to add some pepper pepper pepper.

Let's get the cheese in there.

Now I only grated a small chunk; look how much this is.

You got to keep in mind you're actually putting in a lot of air.

Just respectfully clean the goop grinder.

Why don't we give this a little bit of a tasting?

That might be a little too much garlic.

Isn't cheese the antidote to garlic?

I'm pretty sure when people go to the hospital for garlic poisoning, the first thing they do is cover them with a gruyere blanket.

So let's put in a disrespectful amount of olive oil.

Disrespectful cuz I'm pouring it from a high altitude and olives are afraid of heights.

We've transitioned from grinding into wang-jangling.

Italians, please savagely roast me in the comments.

Non-Italians, who think they know more about making pesto than they do, please savagely roast me in the comments, thank you.

Damn it, that's pretty good.

And finally I'm just going to respectfully clean off the pesto *.

Okay, here's an idea.

How about instead of cooking all the flavor out of the basil, we just spread pesto on toast and add the egg?

Who knew that not frying all the flavor out of the basil would taste great?

Just an entire country.

Okay, I'm excited about this one.

This is a sort of an eggs coquette, which in this case we'll call it an eggs coquesto.

My hands are washed and I'm going to start by respectfully butter-fingering the dish.

I'm kind of tempted to just leave the rest of the butter in there and so I'm going to.

Now I'm going to crack a couple of eggs in here.

I'm going to add some cream, a couple tablespoons of boar's and cheese, and a pinch of flavor glitter, some pepper pepper pepper, big spoonful of pesto.

And we'll see how that goes.

We're experimenting, okay? You know what they say. Don't shoot the experimessager.

Now we've got some nearly boiling water, to halfway up the dish inside the dish.

Let's put it in the oven.

Okay, we're taking this out of the oven.

Keep in mind, it's dangerously hot.

Don't go rod dog in this with your hands.

Just make sure you have a firm grip, cuz that's slippery.

Let's try it.

This is the best one yet. Just look at that.

If you see this and don't think slam dunk, then you're obviously not a basketball player.

When I first heard of pesto eggs getting popular, I just assume they were made the way I invented them many years ago: scrambled into the eggs.

Why do I have chopped garlic here? Don't worry about it.

What I've learned is there's really something to this because by combining the pesto inside the eggs, you preserve a lot more of that basil flavor rather than frying it out of the pesto.

Why do we have olive oil that's heating up here? Don't worry about it.

Going to add in some flavor glitter and some pepper pepper pepper.

These are, by the way, the same green eggs that are in my book. But don't worry about it.

You see the green eggs were part of a bigger breakfast dish that I came up with, for better or for worse.

Why am I boiling spaghetti right now? Don't worry about it.

You see what I figured was breakfast often has potatoes or toast or some other carb, so why not create a breakfast pasta by making aglio e olio?

Not to be confused with its kid brother ugly e olio.

And we're going to do that by sauteing some garlic.

I haven't made this in years, and I haven't looked up the recipe, so I hope I'm doing this right.

I mean I've already burnt the garlic a little bit.

So that's one problem we have now.

I'm going to put in some chilies.

And we're just going to cook that.

Is this the right size pot? Probably not.

Can we make it work? Yes, we can.

Why? Cuz we believe in ourselves.

You've probably heard of green eggs and ham.

This is green eggs and damn these eggs are so good.

Our cooked pasta that I drained is going into the pan.

Wow, that's still way hotter than I expected.

It's only one of several problems going on right now.

Here's another problem.

These are cooking way too hot, cuz I got distracted doing this all at the same time.

But you know what, actually it's not that bad.

Don't feel like you have to cook your eggs so they're the texture of pablum, like some chefs do.

Not going to name any names that rhyme with Florida Bamsey.

You can have eggs where your teeth actually have a function, if you want.

It's okay to chew food.

I'm not out here trying to defend this.

I'm just showing you what I did once upon a time, including today.

Let's get some parma on there, also known as pam, depending on where you're from.

Definitely lean in the too much pam realm for me.

So the eggs just go in there.

All right, so let's just try the eggs on their own.

It's so good.

To me it's way better than the fried egg.

And let's see do we like this still.

You know what, I'm going to stand behind it.

All I'm going to say is welcome to The Cutting Edge, guys.

Can someone in Italy please make this?

Or you know, if you're Italian-American, please make this and come back and tell me it's not good.

It takes a lot of vulnerability to admit you came up with something so good so many years ago.

Does this look delicious? No.

Does it taste delicious? Yes.

Embrace the contradiction.

Embrace breakfast pasta.