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a white footprint against the off-white, as if someone has stepped in paint and then onto the ceiling, leaving one faint but perfect track. He has never noticed it before.
灰白色的墙上有一个白色的脚印，就好像有人踩进了油漆，然后踩到了天花板上，留下了一条模糊但完美的轨迹。他以前从未注意到。
Hannah catches his eye and the look on her face is serious and proud, as if she's discovered a new planet. It's ridiculous, really, a footprint on the ceiling.
汉娜吸引了他的目光，她脸上的表情严肃而自豪，仿佛发现了一颗新行星。天花板上的脚印真的很可笑。
Unexplainable and pointless and magical. Hannah giggles, and to James it sounds like the tinkling of a bell. A good sound.
无法解释、毫无意义、不可思议。汉娜咯咯地笑着，对詹姆斯来说，这听起来就像铃铛的叮当声。一个美妙的声音。
He laughs too, for the first time in weeks, and Hannah, suddenly bold, nestles close to her father. It feels familiar, the way she melts into him.
他也笑了，几个星期以来第一次笑，汉娜突然大胆依偎在父亲身上。感觉很熟悉，她融入他的方式。
It reminds him of something he's forgotten. "You know what I'd do with your sister sometimes?" he says slowly.
这让他想起了他忘记的事情。“你知道我有时会拿你姐姐怎么办吗？”他慢慢地说。
"When she was small, really small, even smaller than you. You know what I'd do?"
“当她很小的时候，真的很小，甚至比你还小。你知道我会怎么做吗？”
He lets Hannah climb onto his back. Then he stands and turns side to side, feeling her weight shift against him. "Where's Lydia?" he says. "Where's Lydia?"
他让汉娜爬到他的背上。然后，他站起来，左右转动，感觉她的重心移向他。“莉迪亚在哪里？”他说。“莉迪亚在哪里？”
He'd say this, over and over, while she nestled her face in his hair and giggled.
他会一遍又一遍地说这些话，而她则把脸贴在他的头发上，咯咯地笑着。
He could feel her hot little breath on his scalp, on the back of his ears.
他能感觉到她在他的头皮上，在他的耳后吹出的热气。
He'd wander the living room, peering behind furniture and around doorways.
他会在客厅里转来转去，盯着家具后面和门口。
"I can hear her," he'd say. "I can see her foot." He'd squeeze her ankle, clutched tight in his hand. "Where is she? Where's Lydia? Where could she be?"
“我能听见她，”他说。“我能看见她的脚。”他会紧紧抓住她的脚踝。“她在哪里？莉迪亚在哪里？她会在哪儿呢？”
He would twist his head and she'd duck, squealing, while he pretended not to notice her hair dangling over his shoulder. "There she is! There's Lydia!"
他会扭着头，而她则会低头尖叫，而他假装没有注意到她的头发在他肩上晃荡。“她在那儿！莉迪亚在那儿！”
He'd spin faster and faster, Lydia clinging tighter and tighter, until he collapsed on the rug, letting her roll, laughing, off his back. She never got tired of it.
他越转越快，莉迪亚越抱越紧，直到他倒在地毯上，让她在他背上滚来滚去，笑个不停。她从来没有厌倦过。
Found and lost and found again, lost in plain sight, pressed to his back, her feet clasped in his hands. What made something precious? Losing it and finding it.
找呀找，找呀找，明明白白地找不着了，她紧贴着他的背，双手合掌。是什么使东西变得珍贵？失而复得。
All those times he'd pretended to lose her. He sinks down on the carpet, dizzy with loss. Then he feels small arms curling round his neck, the warmth of a small body leaning against him.
他一直假装失去她。他一屁股坐在地毯上，茫然不知所措。然后，他感到有一双小胳膊蜷曲在他的脖子上，一个温暖的小身体靠在他身上。
"Daddy?" Hannah whispers. "Will you do that again?" And he feels himself rising, pushing himself back up to his knees. There is so much more to do, so much yet to be mended.
“爸爸，”汉娜小声地说，“你还会这样做吗？”他觉得自己站了起来，把自己推到膝盖上。还有许多事情要做，还有许多事情需要修补。
But for now, he thinks only of this, his daughter, here in his arms. He had forgotten what it was like to hold a child—to hold anyone—like that.
但现在，他只想着这个，他的女儿，在他的怀里。他已经忘记了像这样抱着一个孩子——抱着任何人——是什么滋味了。
How their weight sank into you, how they clung instinctively. How they trusted you. It is a long time before he is ready to let her go.
他们的重量是如何在你身上下沉，他们是如何本能地粘在你身上。他们是多么信任你。过了好长一段时间他才准备让她走。
And when Marilyn wakes and comes downstairs, just as the light is fading, this is what she finds: her husband cradling their youngest in a circle of lamplight, a tender look of calm on his face.
玛丽琳醒来下楼时，光线正在减弱，她发现：她的丈夫在灯光下环抱着他们最小的孩子，脸上流露出温柔而平静的神情。
"You're home," Marilyn says. All of them know it is a question.
“你在家，”玛丽琳说。他们都知道这是个问题。
