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From then on, she called every few days, when the yearning for home became too much.
从那以后，她每隔几天就打一次电话，因为她太想家了。
No matter what time it was, James picked up the phone, and she worried, imagining him sleeping at the kitchen table, or in his study beside the extension.
不管什么时候，詹姆斯都会接电话，她很担心，想象着他睡在餐桌旁，或者在分机旁的书房里。
Yet the one time she received no answer—James and the children, out of food, had been forced to the grocery store at last—she had panicked, imagining house fires or earthquakes or meteor strikes, and called again and again, every five minutes, then every two, until James’s voice had come across the line at last.
然而，有一次没人接电话，詹姆斯和孩子们没了食物，最后被迫去了杂货店。她惊慌失措，想象着房子着火、地震或流星撞击，一次又一次地打电话，每隔五分钟打一次，后又每隔两分钟，直到听到詹姆斯的声音。
Another time, when she called in the middle of the morning, James, exhausted, had fallen asleep at his desk, and Nath had picked up instead.
还有一次，她半夜里打电话，詹姆斯疲惫不堪，在办公桌旁睡着了，纳接了电话。
“Lee residence,” he had answered dutifully, just as she’d trained him, and Marilyn wanted to say, are you all right? are you being good? but found her throat swollen shut with longing.
“李公馆，”他毕恭毕敬地答道，就像她训练他那样，玛丽琳想说，你还好吗?你表现好吗?但她发现自己因为太过迫切，喉咙肿胀，说不出话来。
Nath, to her surprise, didn’t hang up at the silence.
令她吃惊的是，纳并没有因为沉默挂断电话。
He had knelt on the kitchen chair, which he’d climbed to reach the phone, listening.
他跪在餐椅上，一边听着，一边爬上椅子去拿电话。
After a moment, Lydia had tiptoed in from the doorway and crouched beside him, the handset sandwiched between their ears, for two minutes, three minutes, four, as if they could hear everything their mother was feeling and wishing in the gentle hiss on the line.
过了一会儿，莉迪亚蹑手蹑脚地从门口进来，蹲在他身旁，手机夹在两人耳朵之间，两分钟，三分钟，四分钟过去了，仿佛他们能从电话的嘶嘶声中听到母亲的一切感受和希冀。
They had been the ones to hang up first, and after the click, Marilyn had cradled the phone for a long time, hands trembling.
他们先挂断了电话，按了一下后，玛丽琳捧着电话很长时间，双手颤抖。
Nath and Lydia never mentioned this to their father, and James never reported the calls to the police.
纳和莉迪亚从未向父亲提及此事，詹姆斯也从未报警。
He had already begun to suspect that they were not much interested in helping him, and deep inside, where his old fears lay coiled, he thought he understood their reasoning: it had only been a matter of time before a wife like Marilyn left a husband like him.
他已经开始怀疑警察对此不感兴趣，内心十分恐惧，他认为自己明白了原因：玛丽琳这样的妻子早晚会离开他这样的丈夫。
Officer Fiske continued to be very kind, but James resented this even more; the politeness made it even harder to bear.
菲斯克警官仍然很和蔼可亲，但詹姆斯更加反感了。这种礼貌让人更不舒服。
For her part, Marilyn told herself each time she put down the receiver that it was the last time, that she would not call again, that this was proof her family was fine, that she had begun a new life.
对玛丽琳而言，她每次放下电话时都告诉自己这是最后一次，她不会再打了，她的家人安然无恙，自己也开始了全新的生活。
She told herself this so firmly that she believed it completely, until the next time she found herself dialing their number.
她坚定地告诉自己这是最后一次，结果下一次她仍会拿起电话。
She told herself that everything was possible now, in this new life.
她告诉自己，在新的生活中，一切皆有可能。
She subsisted on cereal and sandwiches and spaghetti from the pizza joint down the street; she had not known it was possible to live without owning a single pot.
她吃的是街上那家披萨店的麦片、三明治和意大利面；她不知道没有锅也能生活。
Eight more credits, she calculated, and she would finish her degree.
她算了一下，再修8个学分就可以拿到学位了。
She tried to forget everything else.
她试图忘掉一切。
She rolled Nath’s marble between her fingers as she wrote away for medical school brochures.
她一边用手指卷着纳的大理石，一边写信索要医学院的宣传册。
She snapped the clip of Lydia’s barrette—one-two, one-two—as she penned tiny notes in the margins of her textbook.
她啪地一声把莉迪亚的发夹打开又关上——一-二，一，二——在课本空白处记了些笔记。
She concentrated so hard that her head ached.
她太过专注，头都疼了。
That third day of July, Marilyn flipped a page in her textbook and black cotton clouded her view.
七月第三天，玛丽琳翻了一页课本，黑色的棉花挡住了她的视线。
Her head went heavy as a melon, pulling her off balance, buckling her knees, dragging her toward the floor.
她头重脚轻，失去了平衡，膝盖弯曲，一步步拖着走。
In a moment, her vision cleared, then her mind.
过了一会儿，她的视野开阔了，接着又清醒了。
She discovered a spilled glass of water trickling off the tabletop, her notes scattered across the tiles, her blouse clammy and damp.
她发现一杯溢出的水从桌上淌下来，笔记散落在瓷砖上，衬衫湿透了。
Only when her own handwriting came back into focus did she stand again.
只有笔迹再次清晰可见时，她才重新站了起来。
She had never fainted before, never even come close, even during the hottest days of summer.
她从未晕倒过，甚至在夏天最热的日子里也从晕厥。
Now she was tired, almost too tired to stand up.
现在她累了，累得几乎站不起来了。
Easing herself onto the sofa cushions, Marilyn thought, Maybe I’m sick, maybe I caught a bug from someone.
躺在沙发垫子上，玛丽琳想：也许我病了，也许我从别人那里染上了病菌。
Then another thought arrived and her whole body went cold.
接着她又有了一个想法，全身都凉了下来。
It was the third; she was sure of this; she had been counting down the days to this exam.
这是第三次;她对此深信不疑;她一直在倒数着考试的日子。
That meant she was nearly—she counted on her fingers, alert now, as if she’d been doused with icy water—three weeks late.
这意味着她几乎——她掰着手指数，开始警觉起来，就好像被冰水浸泡了三个星期。
No. She thought back.
不对。她想起来了。
Since before she left home almost nine weeks ago.
是九周，自她离家开始。
She hadn’t realized it had been so long.
她没有意识到已经过了这么久。
She wiped her hands on her jeans and tried to stay calm.
她在牛仔裤上擦了擦手，努力保持镇静。
After all, she had been late before.
毕竟，她以前也迟到过。
When she’d been stressed, or sick, as if her body hadn’t enough attention to keep everything running, as if something had to be put on hold.
当她感到压力或生病时，身体仿佛无法照常运行，好像有什么事要暂时搁置。
Working as hard as she was, perhaps her body could not keep up.
尽管她工作很努力，也许她的身体跟不上了。
You’re just hungry, Marilyn told herself.
玛丽琳告诉自己：你只是饿了。
She hadn’t eaten all day and it was nearly two o’clock.
她一整天都没吃东西，都快两点了。
There was nothing in the cupboard, but she would go to the store.
碗柜里什么也没有，但她愿意去商店。
