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She would get food and eat it and then she would feel much better.
她会拿食物吃，感觉好多了。
Then she would get back to studying.
然后就可以回去学习了。
In the end, Marilyn would never take that exam.
最后，玛丽琳永远不会参加那场考试。
At the store, she put cheese and bologna and mustard and soda into her cart.
在店里，她把奶酪、腊肠、芥末和苏打水放进购物车。
She lifted a loaf of bread from the shelf.
从架子上拿起一条面包。
It’s nothing, she told herself again. You’re fine.
她又对自己说：没什么的，你很好。
With the grocery sack under her arm and the six-pack of bottles in her hand, she headed to her car, and without warning the parking lot spiraled around her.
她腋下夹着购物袋，手里拿着六瓶酒，朝她的车走去，停车场毫无征兆地在她周围盘旋。
Knees, then elbows, slammed into asphalt.
膝盖撞到了柏油路上，接着肘部也是。
The paper sack tumbled to the ground.
纸袋掉在地上。
Soda bottles shattered on the pavement, exploding in a spray of fizz and glass.
苏打水摔在人行道上，玻璃碎了，嘶嘶地冒泡。
Marilyn sat up slowly.
玛丽琳慢慢地坐了起来。
Her groceries lay scattered around her, the loaf of bread in a puddle, the jar of mustard slowly rolling away toward a green VW van.
食物散落在她周围，面包在水坑里，芥末慢慢地滚向一辆绿色的大众面包车。
Cola dripped down her shins.
可乐顺着小腿流下来。
She had cut herself on the glass: a deep gash right across the center of her palm, straight as a ruler’s edge.
她被玻璃划伤了：手掌正中有一道很深的伤口，像尺子边缘一样直。
It did not hurt at all.
一点也不疼。
She turned her hand from side to side, letting the light play on the layers of skin like sandstone strata: clearish pink, like watermelon, with flecks of snowy white. At the bottom, a river of rich red welled up.
她把手从一边转到另一边，让阳光照在皮肤上，就像照在砂岩层上一样：手呈透亮的粉红色，像西瓜，有点雪白。手底一条红色的河流涌了上来。
She dug in her purse for a handkerchief and touched its corner to her palm and suddenly the cut was drained dry, the handkerchief blotched scarlet.
她从钱包里掏出一块手帕，摸了摸手帕的一角，手上的伤口突然被吸干了，手帕上有一块猩红色的污渍。
The beauty of her hand amazed her: the pureness of the colors, the clarity of the white flecks and the thin lines on the muscle.
她的手很美，她不由得感叹：颜色如此纯粹，白色斑点清晰可见，肌肉多么分明。
She wanted to touch it, to lick it. To taste herself.
她想摸它，想舔它，想品尝自己。
Then the cut began to sting, and blood began to pool in her cupped palm, and she realized she would have to go to the hospital.
接着伤口开始刺痛，血开始在手掌里淤积，她意识到得去医院。
The emergency room was almost empty.
急诊室里几乎空无一人。
The next day it would be full of Fourth of July accidents: food poisoning from bad egg salad, burned hands from grill fires, singed eyebrows from rogue fireworks.
第二天，全国将充满7月4日的事故报道：坏鸡蛋沙拉引起食物中毒，烧烤引起火灾烧伤了手，烟花四散烧焦了眉毛。
That afternoon, though, Marilyn walked up to the front desk and held out her hand, and in a few minutes she found herself on a cot, a petite young blonde in white taking her pulse and examining her palm.
然而，那天下午，玛丽琳走到前台伸出手，几分钟后，她发现自己躺在一张小床上，一个身材娇小的白衣金发女郎在为她把脉，检查她的手掌。
And when the young blonde said, “Let’s get you stitched up,” and took a bottle of anesthetic from a cupboard, Marilyn blurted out, “Shouldn’t the doctor do that?”
年轻的金发女人说：“让我帮你缝针吧。”然后从橱柜里拿了一瓶麻醉剂，玛丽琳脱口而出：“医生不应该这样做吗?”
The blond woman laughed. “I’m Dr. Greene,” she said.
金发女人笑了，说道：“我是格林医生。”
Then, as Marilyn stared, she added, “Would you like to see my hospital badge?”
然后，玛丽琳盯着看时，她又说：“你想看看我的医院工作证吗?”
As the young woman closed the gash with neat black stitches, Marilyn’s hands began to ache.
当这位年轻女子用整齐的黑色缝线缝合伤口时，玛丽琳的手开始痛了。
She clenched her teeth, but the ache spread into her wrists, up to her shoulders, down her spine.
她咬紧牙关，但疼痛扩散到她的手腕、肩膀、脊椎。
It wasn’t the surgery.
这不是手术的问题。
It was disappointment: that like everyone else, she heard doctor and still thought—would forever think—man.
令人失望的是：和其他人一样，她听了医生的话，仍然想着，也永远想着男人。
The rims of her eyes started to burn, and when Dr. Greene tied off the last stitch and smiled and said, “How are you feeling?”
她的眼圈开始灼痛，格林医生缝好最后一针笑着问道：“你感觉怎么样?”
Marilyn blurted out, “I think I’m pregnant,” and burst into tears.
玛丽琳脱口而出：“我想我怀孕了。”然后突然大哭起来。
After that everything happened very fast.
从那以后，时间过得很快。
There were tests to be run, vials of blood to be drawn.
需要抽血检查。
Marilyn didn’t remember exactly how it worked but knew it involved rabbits.
玛丽琳不记得具体是如何操作的，但她知道与兔子有关。
“Oh, we don’t use rabbits anymore,” the pretty young doctor laughed, slipping the needle into the soft crook of Marilyn’s arm.
“噢，我们不再用兔子了，”年轻漂亮的医生笑着说道，把针插进了玛丽琳柔软的臂弯里。
“We use frogs now. Much faster and easier. Isn’t modern science wonderful?”
“我们现在用青蛙。更快更简单。现代科学不是很奇妙吗?”
Someone got Marilyn a cushioned chair and a blanket to drape over her shoulders; someone asked for her husband’s phone number, which Marilyn, in a daze, recited.
有人给玛丽琳买了一张软垫椅子和一条毯子，盖在她的肩膀上；有人问她丈夫的电话号码，玛丽琳茫然地回答。
Someone brought her a glass of water.
有人给了她一杯水。
The cut on her hand was closed and mute now, black sutures binding the raw flesh shut.
伤口合上了，悄无声息，黑色的缝线把生肉缝合起来。
Hours passed, but it seemed only a few minutes before James was there, radiant with amazement, holding her good hand while the young doctor said, “we’ll call you with the results on Tuesday, Mr. and Mrs. Lee, but it looks like you’ll be due in January.”
几个小时过去了，似乎只过了几分钟，詹姆斯就到了，他看起来容光焕发，又很惊讶。年轻的医生握着她未受伤的手说，“李先生，李太太，我们会在星期二打电话告知你们结果，但是你们的预产期好像是在一月份。”
Then, before Marilyn could speak, she stepped into the long white hallway and disappeared.
然后，玛丽琳还没来得及说话，她就走进了长长的白色走廊，消失在尽头。
