评论
打印
Cookies are a really great way to get everybody to like you for a short period of time.
曲奇是一种让所有人短暂地喜欢上你的好办法。
We're going to make simple peanut butter cookies, you only need three ingredients.
今天我们做简单的花生酱曲奇，只需要三种原料。
I mean, you can make them with four.
当然，用四种原料也行。
Umm, but, you can use as few as one ingredient if you wanted to just take a bit of peanut butter, put it in a circular shape on a plate, and let it dry out and call that a cookie.
嗯，其实最少一种原料就够了，把花生酱在盘子里涂抹成圆形，然后晾干，然后说这也算一种饼干。
Put Peanut Butter on a Plate And Call It a Cookie or Make Actual Cookies
“做糊弄版曲奇”或“做真正的曲奇”
Ok. We're going to start by taking one cup of peanut butter.
好的，首先倒一杯花生酱。
Congratulations. You're one-third done.
祝贺你，已经完成了三分之一。
So, now we're going to take a cup of brown sugar.
现在倒一杯黄糖。
What's this? The hell?
这是什么？什么鬼？
Looks like a treasure map.
好像是藏宝图。
Search for Treasure or Continue Making Cookies
“寻找宝藏”或“继续做曲奇”
You're gonna throw that in the bowl.
把黄糖倒进碗里。
So the only other ingredient you absolutely need is an egg.
只剩一种必不可少的原料，就是鸡蛋。
Let Eggs Say Goodbye to Each Other or Continue Making Cookies
“让鸡蛋彼此道别”或“继续做曲奇”
See ya. Bye.
再见。拜拜。
If your arm gets sore from this repetitive motion, just know that it's natural and it's nothing to feel bad about.
如果你的胳膊因为重复这个动作而酸痛，要知道这是正常的，不要对此感到太难受。
And now you can decide if you want to add anything else into your peanut butter cookies, like chocolate chips or......really, I mean the sky's the limit here.
现在你可以决定是否要在花生酱曲奇中加入其他配料，比如巧克力碎，或者（黄油、小苏打、椰子、核桃、你的正直品格、美味），讲真，地上有的都能放。
Form balls out of these. Table spoon size.
把它揉成球，勺子大小就行。
No grease in the pan. No foil.
烤盘不用刷油，也不需要垫锡纸。
It's almost like the pan's perfectly clean when you're done.
做完饼干之后，烤盘会干干净净的。
I really don't know what I'm talking about. It's really on there, you know.
我有点懵了。竟然真的粘在上面了。（事后翻车）
And you can take a fork. And press them down a little bit.
可以拿一把叉子，把面糊往下压。
Oh, these are not pressing down. They're really super sticky.
哦，不太好压。真的超级粘。
I don't know what happened. What's going on?
我不知道这是什么情况。什么鬼啊？
Oh, that one turned out good. Let's just pretend that one is all of these.
哦，这一个压得不错。我们就假设所有饼干都是那一个。
These look perfect.
这样看起来就很完美。
If you have a Fork Compressotron 1, you could use that instead.
如果你有一台叉子按压加速器，也可以换成这个。
Oh, see that does a f...a far better job.
哦，这个就好用多了。
Onion's on 350.
烤箱350度。
So while that's cooking you're going to notice you have, uh, enough left over for, maybe another...
让饼干烤着，你可以注意到还剩下很多面糊，或许可以......
Oh. I got, uh, selected to go on this mission to Mars.
噢，我被选中去火星执行一个任务。
Go to Mars or Wait for Cookies
“前往火星”或“等曲奇烤好”
Mission control to YSAC, initiate remote sequence.
任务控制中心向“厨艺弱爆”讲话，启动远程序列。
Remote sequence is good.
远程序列已启动。
Light switch check.
检查电灯开关。
Switches are good.
开关已检查。
Initiate radio check.
启动无线电检查。
Radio is good.
无线电检查完毕。
Cartridge entry, go.
弹药填充，开始。
Cartridge in.
弹药已填充。
Initiate beep sequence.
启动哔声序列。
Beeps initiated.
哔声已启动。
Enter navigation coordinates.
输入导航坐标。
Navigation locked.
导航已锁定。
Engage hyperdrive.
启动超光速推进装置。
Mission control, we have a major problem. I just realized I left the cookies in the onion.
任务控制中心，有一个大麻烦。我刚想起来烤箱里还有我的饼干。
Copy that YSAC, what the f*** are you talking about?
收到，你特么的在逗我吗？
Continue to Mars or Turn off Onion
“继续飞往火星”或“回家关烤箱”
Ahh, well that's a bummer.
啊，真是遗憾。
But, least I got some cookies.
但是，至少我还有曲奇饼干。
They're probably better with, um any other ingredient that you could possibly put in a cookie.
可能加点其他配料也会不错，加什么都可以。
Basically, just look up a real recipe, I guess, and follow that.
基本上，只要找一份靠谱的食谱，然后照做就行了。
You could give these out and try to buy people's friendship with them, or you could hoard them all for yourself.
你可以把饼干分给其他人吃，用饼干收买和其他人的友谊，或者也可以把它们囤起来自己吃。
Buy Friendship with Cookies or Hoard Cookies
“用饼干换取友情”或“留着自己吃”
I'd like to be a pirate. I really think I'd like to try it.
我想成为一名海盗，我真的很想试一试。
I know I just can't deny it except for being shot at all the time and losing a leg.
我知道我无法抗拒，除了要整天吃枪子，甚至废掉一条腿。
Then I got to spend my whole day carving a peg.
然后我就只能坐在船上雕木头，
And I'm getting all antsy because I'm stuck on a boat.
心里烦躁不安，因为我被困在一艘船上。
And I don't know how to swim and I probably can't float.
而且我不会游泳，掉进海里也漂不起来。
And I have to always wear the same pair of wet shoes
只能穿同一双湿哒哒的鞋子也没得换。
And I'm stuck in a dark room that's full of unclean dudes.
和一群脏兮兮的家伙挤在一个黑漆漆的房间里。
And the ship makes me sick because it's rocky and swervey.
船摇摇晃晃，让我头晕想吐。
And at least a couple times a year I come down with scurvy.
每年至少有几次，我肯定会晕倒。
Getting bored of the food and I end up marooned.
食物也都吃腻了，我会被流放荒岛。
And I never really learned to navigate by the moon.
我从来也没学会根据月亮调整航向。
And I'm constantly prone to unpredictable weather.
变幻莫测的天气总是出现。
And my back is sore from carrying all this heavy treasure.
背着沉甸甸的宝藏，压得我腰酸背痛。
And I don't really like being out in the sun.
其实我也不喜欢晒太阳。
And I never ever ever want to hurt anyone.
我也永远永远不想伤害任何人。
But I'd like to be a pirate. Yeah!
但除此之外我想成为一名海盗，耶！
Don't really mean to romanticize it. No!
我并不想把海盗生活浪漫化，不！
They lived in a better climate Yeah!
他们当时可能风和日丽，是的！
I want to be a swash-buckling pirate. Maybe!
我想成为帅帅的海盗，乘风破浪，也许吧！
