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Hey, Psych2Goers. Being in a relationship could be one of the most fulfilling experiences to have.
嘿，Psych2Go的观众。恋爱可能是最令人满足的经历之一。
Regardless of how things end, they open up parts of ourselves and our hearts that perhaps we didn't dare to explore, or didn't think existed.
不管恋爱的结局如何，它们开阔了我们自己、打开了我们内心的一部分，也许我们不敢探索，或者认为不存在。
But all relationships and feelings have stages that may not be completely mature types of love.
所有的恋爱和感情都有不同的阶段，可能不是完全成熟的爱。
And of course, that's okay.
当然，这也没关系。
There are many kinds of love.
爱有很多种。
Here are some ways to understand if what your feeling is mature or immature.
这里有一些方法来了解你的感觉是成熟还是不成熟。
Number one, idealization versus acceptance.
第一，理想化与接受度。
When you enter a relationship or start liking someone, everything feels new and exciting.
当你进入一段恋爱或开始喜欢上某人时，一切都会感到新鲜和激动。
You love and admire the other person's traits and attributes and find it hard to find faults.
你喜欢对方的特点和特质，并对此表示钦佩，并且发现很难找出缺点。
There's nothing wrong with idealizing your partner or crush.
将你的伴侣理想化或迷恋伴侣并没有错。
It's a natural and necessary part of being in love.
这是恋爱中自然而然和必要的一部分。
But the purpose of love and relationships is to move beyond the idealization phase.
但爱情和恋爱的目的是超越理想化阶段。
Both of you are supposed to grow in understanding and acceptance.
你们两个都应该在理解和接受方面有所提高。
In a mature relationship, you both accept each other's faults while motivating and supporting each other to do and be better.
在一段成熟的关系中，你们都接受对方的缺点，同时激励和支持对方做得更好。
Number two, jealousy.
第二，嫉妒。
Many people look down on jealousy in a relationship.
在恋爱关系中，很多人轻视嫉妒。
We think of it as an unattractive trait in ourselves or our partners, but jealousy that is healthy and not obsessive may be an unfulfilled desire.
我们认为嫉妒是我们自己或我们的伴侣身上的一种不吸引人的特征，但健康的、不受困扰的嫉妒可能是一种未实现的愿望。
In a relationship, these unexpressed desires are not material things.
在一段恋爱中，这些未表达的欲望是非物质的。
They may be emotional needs that you have.
它们可能是你拥有的情感需求。
So when you find yourself feeling jealous about something in your relationship, figure out what your unfulfilled desire is.
当你发现自己对恋爱中的某件事感到嫉妒时，找出你没有实现的欲望是什么。
Once you figured that out, talk to your partner.
一旦你弄清楚了这一点，就和你的伴侣谈谈。
It's best to talk instead of letting your jealousy fester.
最好是说出来，而不是让你的嫉妒情绪恶化。
Unresolved jealousy can create destructive patterns or distance.
未解决的嫉妒会造成破坏性的模式或拉远你们的距离。
Relationships survive when you both communicate.
当你们双方都交流时，关系才会继续下去。
Number three, stability.
第三，稳定。
A mature relationship needs to be stable.
一段成熟的关系需要稳定。
Both of you need to be on the same page and share the same goals and intentions.
你们两个需要站在同一条战线上，拥有相同的目标和意图。
During the early stages of a relationship, everything moves fast.
在一段关系的早期阶段，一切都进展得很快。
It feels passionate and dramatic, and red flags and boundaries are ignored.
这段恋爱充满激情和戏剧性，危险信号和边界被忽视。
But at this point, neither of you fully know each other.
但在这一点上，你们两个都不完全了解对方。
You just know the best parts of each other.
你只知道对方最好的部分。
As you get to know, understand, and mature in love, the dynamics of the relationship shift.
随着你对爱情变得了解、理解、越来越成熟，这段关系的动力也会发生变化。
As a result, you feel more stable in your love that you share.
因此，你会在你分享的爱中感觉更稳定。
And number four, support.
第四，支持。
Support is one way of showing someone you love them.
支持是对爱人表达爱意的一种方式。
In the early stages of a relationship, the most support many of us can offer is happiness, a promise to be happy around each other.
在一段关系的早期阶段，我们大多数人能提供的最大支持就是快乐，承诺在彼此身边快乐。
As the relationship grows, you both open up to each other, becoming more vulnerable with each other.
随着关系的发展，你们都向对方敞开心扉，彼此变得更加脆弱。
Eventually you both open up to each other, confiding and supporting one another through difficult times.
最终你们都向对方敞开心扉，在困难时期互相信任和支持。
The support and understanding motivate both of you to endure the adversities either of you might face.
支持和理解激励你们两个人忍受你们任何一个人可能面临的逆境。
So, do you think your relationship or feelings towards someone are more mature or immature?
那么，你认为你对某人的恋爱和感情是更成熟还是更不成熟？
Of course, there's no set formula for a long lasting relationship.
当然，长久的关系并没有固定的模式。
As long as you're happy and fulfilled in your relationship, don't stress too much.
只要你在你们的关系中感到幸福和满足，就不要有太大的压力。
Did you find this video insightful?
你觉得这个视频很有见地吗？
If so, don't forget to leave a like and a comment about your own experiences, and share this video with a friend if you think it might help them too.
如果是，别忘了点赞，谈谈你自己的经历，如果你认为这也能帮助到他们的话，把这个视频分享给你的朋友，
See you next time.
下个视频见。
