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Hey, Psych2Goers. Do you often question whether someone genuinely respects you?
嘿，Psych2Go的观众。你是否经常质疑别人是否真的尊重你？
No matter how hard you try, not everyone can respect you, and that's okay.
不管你怎么努力，不是每个人都会尊重你，这其实没什么。
But if you see yourself making enemies out of people that you just met, perhaps there's a blind spot that you can change for the better.
但是，如果你发现自己会与刚认识的人为敌，也许有一个盲区可以让你变得更好。
So with that said, let's take a look at six reasons why others might not respect you.
话虽如此，让我们来看看其他人可能不尊重你的六个原因。
Number one, you make everything about you.
第一，你把一切都围绕着你自己。
Do you dominate the conversation, talking about everything you've been doing in life without leaving the other person any room to speak?
你在谈话中占据主导地位，谈论你在生活中做过的每件事，而不给对方留下任何说话的空间吗？
While you may feel like you're participating in meaningful conversations, the other party might feel disinterested if they can't relate to what you're saying.
虽然你可能会觉得你在参与有意义的对话，但如果对方不能理解你所说的话，他们可能会感到没有意思。
They may feel like they're being talked at, rather than talked to.
他们可能会觉得自己是接收谈话的人，而非输出谈话的人。
If you feel that you conversation partner's starting to lose interest, ask them their insights and questions every once in a while to bring them back in.
如果你觉得你的谈话对象开始失去兴趣，每隔一段时间问问他们的见解和问题，把他们带回来。
Number two, you dismiss other people's ideas.
第二，你不理会别人的想法。
Do you easily dismiss other people's ideas?
你会轻易忽视别人的想法吗？
By doing this, you many unknowingly drive away your acquaintances.
这样做，你可能会在不知不觉中赶走你的熟人。
A study conducted by Joanna Rajchert and her team showed that rejection can threaten a person's need to belong and further discourages others to help you.
乔安娜·拉杰切特和她的团队进行的一项研究表明，拒绝会威胁到一个人对归属感的需求，并进一步阻碍他人帮助你。
This means that by constantly telling others that they're wrong or consistently dismissing their ideas, you may be slowly eroding your relationship with them.
这意味着，通过不断地告诉别人他们错了，或者不断地否定他们的想法，可能正在慢慢地侵蚀你与他们的关系。
Instead of criticizing their ideas, try to talk in a more supportive and empathetic tone instead, even if their ideas and yours are different.
与其批评他们的想法，不如试着用一种更支持、更有同情心的语气交谈，即使他们的想法和你的不同。
How you present yourself can leave a big impression.
你展示自己的方式会给人留下深刻的印象。
Number three, you try to control others.
第三，你试图控制别人。
Do you try to monitor your significant other's social media?
你会尝试监控你的另一半的社交媒体吗？
Or demand where someone is at all times?
或者要求某人在任何时候都在线等你吗？
Controlling behavior is one where someone tries to take charge of someone's life through manipulation.
控制行为是指某人试图通过操纵来掌控他人的生活。
Controlling behavior may not be present at the start but it could gradually escalate once the relationship starts to become more intimate.
控制行为在一开始可能并不存在，但一旦关系开始变得更加亲密，这种行为可能会逐渐升级。
This can make the other party not just lose their respect for you but fear you as well.
这不仅会让对方失去对你的尊重，还会让他们害怕你。
If you exhibit controlling behaviors towards others, it's something that should be addressed by both parties and a professional, like a therapist.
如果你表现出对他人的控制行为，这是双方和专业人士(如治疗师)都应该解决的问题。
Number four, you don't maintain boundaries.
第四，你不会维护界限。
Do you let things slide way too often?
你是不是频繁放任事情发展？
It can be difficult setting boundaries if you've never been accustomed to it.
如果你从来没有习惯过维护界限，设定界限可能会很困难。
But it's incredibly important because boundaries can protect you mentally and emotionally.
但这一点非常重要，因为界限可以保护你的精神和情感。
When you lack boundaries, you're giving the wrong impression that your identity is at the will of other people.
当你不设界限时，你就会给人一种错误的印象，认为你的身份是由其他人决定的。
With the wrong company, boundaries can be taken advantage of.
和错的人混在一起，边界可能会被利用。
To set boundaries, you have to define and communicate them.
要设定界限，你必须标明界限并传达给他们。
Then detail the consequences if they don't follow.
然后详细说明如果他们不遵循的后果。
This way, your relationships can be healthy.
这样，你们的关系才能健康发展。
Number five, you apologize too often.
第五，你道歉的次数太多了。
Do you say sorry, even when you don't mean it?
即使你不是故意的，你也会说对不起吗？
Why do we over apologize in the first place?
为什么我们一开始就过度道歉呢？
Oftentimes, you may apologize when you feel uncomfortable, insecure, and due to fear of disappointing the other person.
通常，当你感到不舒服、没有安全感、害怕让对方失望时，你可能会道歉。
You could also be doing it for so long that it's ingrained as a subconscious habit.
你也可能长期这样做，以至于它已经成为一种根深蒂固的潜意识习惯。
Over apologizing signals to the other that you're to blame for things that aren't even your fault, which may be a sign of low self-esteem.
道歉会向对方发出这样的信号:你应该为那些甚至不是你的错的事情负责，这可能是低自尊的表现。
If you want people to respect you, try to be careful with the language you choose and that entails being sorry only when you think an apology is warranted, rather than a fallback phrase.
如果你想让别人尊重你，慎选语言，这意味着只有在你认为道歉是必要的时候才道歉，而不是将其作为一个备用短语。
And number six, you break promises.
第六，你违背了诺言。
Do you say you're going to arrive in a few minutes but haven't even left the house yet?
你是不是说你几分钟后就到，但还没离开房子？
Or have you told your boss, teacher or lecturer you'd submit an assignment by the deadline but failed to meat it?
或者，你有没有告诉过你的老板、老师或讲师，你会在最后期限前提交一份作业，但没能如愿？
Before contracts existed, a verbal promise was one of the oldest human behaviors that showed your trust and cooperation with another person.
在合同存在之前，口头承诺是人类最古老的行为之一，它表明你与另一个人的信任和合作。
Even if you give only a glimpse of that secret to someone else, the intention can already tarnish the relationship you have with the secret teller.
即使你只给别人瞥了一眼这个秘密，你的意图也已经损害了你与讲秘密的人的关系。
If you show that you're not reliable enough to confide in, you could be showing others that you're not trustworthy and they could disrespect you in return.
如果你表现出你不够可靠，不足以信任，你可能是在向别人表明你不值得信任，作为回报，他们可能会不尊重你。
Everyone's unique and there's no 100% way of pleasing everybody but as long as you practice genuine kindness and empathy to yourself and others, you can naturally become someone people will like and respect.
每个人都是独一无二的，没有100%的方法可以取悦每个人，但只要你对自己和他人表现出真正的善意和同理心，你自然就会成为人们喜欢和尊重的人。
Do you do any of the things above?
你做过上面提到的任何事情吗？
Are you planning to change?
你打算改变吗？
Let us know in the comments and like and share this video with someone who may benefit.
在评论中告诉我们，点赞并与可能受益的人分享这个视频。
As always, the references and studies are listed in the description.
与往常一样，参考文献和引用研究都列在说明中。
Thanks for watching and see you next time.
感谢您的观看，下次再见。
