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Have you ever been labeled as awkward, or snobbish, but really you just feel tense around people?
你有没有被贴上过难以相处或自命不凡的标签，但实际上你只是在与人相处时会感到紧张？
If so, you may be shy and not really awkward.
如果是这样的话，你可能只是性格腼腆，并非不善交际。
While it's true that shyness and social awkwardness may have characteristics that overlap, there are some key differences that set them apart.
虽然性格腼腆和不善交际可能有重叠的特征，但也有一些关键的差异将它们区分开来。
To learn more about this, here are six signs you're shy, not socially awkward.
为了更好地了解这一点，这里有六个迹象表明你是性格腼腆，而不是不善交际。
Number one. You feel uncomfortable around strangers.
第一、你在陌生人面前你会感到不自在。
Do you tense up when you're in the presence of someone new?
当你出现在一个陌生人面前时，你会紧张吗？
Perhaps you clam up and find it hard to speak.
也许你沉默不语，觉得开口说话很难。
People who are shy often feel nervous and uncomfortable around strangers.
害羞的人在陌生人面前经常会感到紧张和不自在。
While those who are socially awkward, might also feel the same way, they're not limited to feelings of discomfort, as they may also have difficulty reading social cues.
虽然那些不善交际的人可能也有同样的感受，但他们并不局限于不适的感觉，因为他们也可能难以理解社交暗示。
For example, they may be outgoing and have a lot of things to say, but come off as a little weird, quirky, or even aloof.
例如，他们可能很外向，有很多话要说，但给人的印象是有点奇怪、古怪，甚至冷漠。
Shy people on the other hand, tend to be tense and awkward just at the start and willing to gradually open up and come out of their shell in time.
另一方面，腼腆的人往往一开始就感到紧张和尴尬，愿意逐渐敞开心扉，适时走出自己的外壳。
Number two. You don't like unfamiliarity.
第二、你不喜欢陌生的事物。
Is it nerve wracking for you to speak in front of a crowd, for the first time, or think about how your first day of school will be like?
对于你来说，第一次在人群面前讲话，或者想象上学的第一天会是什么样子，是不是令你很头疼？
People who are shy might not enjoy new environments as they often find comfort, holed up in their rooms, or in the company of people they already know.
害羞的人可能不喜欢新的环境，他们经常会躲在自己的房间里，或者和认识的人呆在一起，找到舒适。
They can be less open than outgoing people, but deep inside they also recognize the necessity of doing things despite their discomfort.
他们可能没有外向的人开放，但在内心深处，他们也认识到尽管不舒服，但做事情的必要性。
This aversion to unfamiliarity, can also make them seem uninterested or bored in new situations, but don't be fooled, shy people aren't completely against meeting new people, or venturing into new places.
这种对陌生的厌恶，也会让他们在新环境中看起来漠不关心或无聊，但不要被骗了，害羞的人并不是完全反对结识新朋友，或冒险进入新地方。
They'd just rather dip their toes first into something new, rather than jump straight into it.
他们一般先浅浅尝试一下新事物，而不会直接投入其中。
Socially awkward people may also feel this way, but not as much as those who are shy.
不善交际的人可能也会有这种感觉，但不像那些害羞的人那么严重。
Number three. Your parents are shy too.
第三、你父母也很害羞。
Do you ever wonder if you've carried over the traits of your biological parents?
你有没有想过你是否继承了你亲生父母的特征？
Surprisingly, genetics may play a role in whether you're shy or not.
令人惊讶的是，基因可能会影响你是否害羞。
According to a report published by Nemour's Children's Health, up to 20% of people have genes that dictate their shyness.
根据内穆尔儿童健康中心发布的一份报告，高达20%的人拥有决定他们害羞的基因。
However, it's also important to note that while your level of shyness can be influenced by genetics, it's also possible for some people to develop a shy temperament, depending on their life experiences.
然而，同样重要的是要注意，虽然你的害羞程度可能受到基因的影响，但也有可能有些人会发展出害羞的气质，这取决于他们的生活经历。
Number four. You had negative past experiences.
第四、你过去有过消极的经历。
Did you go through a life defining experience in the past, that changed who you are?
你过去是否经历了一段改变人生的经历，改变了你?
It's possible that your negative experiences in the past have led you to become shy.
有可能是你过去的负面经历让你变得害羞。
Maybe you were always the new kid at school and had trouble making friends, or maybe you had a friend that betrayed you and so are more cautious in finding genuine connections.
也许你一直是学校里的新生，在交朋友方面有困难，或者有一个朋友背叛了你，所以在寻找真正的关系时更加谨慎。
The source of your shyness may not even necessarily stem from one event, but a culmination of many small events.
你害羞的根源可能不一定来自一件事，而是许多小事堆积的结果。
On the other hand, while social awkwardness can also stem from past experiences, it tends to manifest differently.
另一方面，虽然不善交际也可能源于过去的经历，但它往往表现得不同。
Instead of remaining reserved and quiet, like shy people socially awkward individuals may do other things like overshare in a discussion, or overreact inappropriately.
不像害羞的人那样矜持和安静，不善交际的人可能会做其他事情，比如在讨论中过度分享，或反应过度。
Number five. With friends you can be the life of the party.
第五、和朋友在一起，你可以成为派对的主角。
Being shy doesn't mean you can't have fun with your friends.
害羞并不意味着你和朋友玩不到一起。
In fact, when you're around people you know well, you might be a natural conversationalist and can go on chatting for hours.
事实上，当你和你熟悉的人在一起时，你可能会侃侃而谈，可以聊上几个小时。
In contrast, people with social awkwardness tend to act the same way around all people, regardless of how well they know them.
相比之下，不善交际的人往往在所有人面前都表现得一样，不管他们与别人有多熟悉。
They may not find it difficult to chat with a friend who they already know, but they may bring up topics that would strike others as strange, or not know when to end a conversation.
他们可能会发现和认识的朋友聊天并不困难，但他们可能会提出一些其他人觉得奇怪的话题，或者不知道什么时候结束对话。
And number six. You're selective with who you let into your life.
第六、你对让谁进入你的生活很挑剔。
Does it take a while for you to warm up to someone?
你需要一段时间才能对某人产生好感吗？
It's not that shy people don't wanna make friends, it's just that they're more selective with who they let into their lives.
这并不是说害羞的人不想交朋友，而是他们对让谁进入自己的生活更加挑剔。
Shy individuals are often very choosy about the people they talk to and the situations they put themselves in.
害羞的人通常对他们交谈的对象以及他们所处的环境非常挑剔。
They like to take their time in getting to know a person before completely opening up to them.
在完全向对方敞开心扉之前，他们喜欢花时间去了解对方。
Socially awkward people on the other hand, don't necessarily follow the same rules.
另一方面，不善交际的人并不一定遵循同样的规则。
They may talk to people indiscriminately, or be friends with everyone they meet.
他们可能会不加选择地与人交谈，或者与他们遇到的每个人都成为朋友。
So, which one do you relate to the most?
那么，哪条与你最接近？
Are you socially awkward, or just shy?
你是不善交际，或者只是害羞呢？
Let us know in the comments below.
请在下面的评论中告诉我们。
If you found this video helpful, be sure to like subscribe and share this video with those who might benefit from it.
如果你觉得这个视频有帮助，一定要点赞，并与那些可能从中受益的人分享这个视频。
And don't forget to hit the notification bell icon, to get notified whenever Psych to Go post a new video.
别忘了按下通知铃图标，这样，每当Psych to Go发布新视频时，你都会收到通知。
The references and studies used in this video, are added in the description below.
本视频中使用的参考文献和相关研究都添加在下面的描述中了。
Thanks for watching and see you in our next video.
感谢收看，下期视频见。
