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I remember the moment I learned of the pregnancy so clearly — as if it has always been happening and will continue to be happening until the end of my life, as if it rang a heavy bell and the deafening note reverberates still.
我清楚地记得我得知怀孕的那一刻——仿佛那一刻一直在发生，而且将继续发生，直到我生命的尽头，仿佛那一刻敲响了沉重的钟声，震耳欲聋的音调仍在回响。
I took the pregnancy test in a restroom in the Biblical Studies Building.
我在圣经研究楼的厕所里做了验孕。
I had received my bachelor’s degree in English the week before but had stayed in town to guest-teach the literature unit of a monthlong course on women’s spirituality, led by one of my professors.
上个星期，我拿到了英语学士学位，但我留在城里作为客座教师教授一个月时间的文学单元课程---女性的精神，这些课程由我的一位教授负责。
At the break, after talking to the students about a poem by Marge Piercy —
课间休息时，在和学生们谈论了一首玛姬·皮尔斯的诗之后
In nightmares she suddenly recalls
在恶梦中她突然回忆起来
a class she signed up for
这是她报的一门课程
but forgot to attend
却忘记参加
Now it is too late.
现在已经太晚了。
— I took the test. The two pink lines appeared.
-我做了验孕测试。 出现了两条粉红色的线。
I felt a line sear its way through the middle of my body. I felt a physical splitting.
我感觉有一条线烧过了我的身体中部。 我感到身体分裂了。
Now it is time for finals: losers will be shot.
现在是决赛的时候了:失败者将被枪毙。
I was wearing a delicate pink sweater, a long dark green silk skirt and pretty sandals.
我穿着一件精致的粉红色毛衣，一条深绿色的丝质长裙和一双漂亮的凉鞋。
I remember realizing I had never been up against such a true moment of inevitability, of mandatory decision-making, before.
我记得我以前从未遇到过如此真实的不可避免的时刻，被迫做出决定的时刻。
I had never understood incontrovertible.
毫无疑问，我从来没有理解过。
In this way, it was my first encounter with the meaning of death.
就这样，这是我第一次体验了死亡的意义。
I went back to class. I was teaching from an anthology called “Cries of the Spirit.”
我回到教室。 我在教一本叫做《灵魂的呐喊》的选集
I pointed out a line in the preface in which the editor describes attending the lecture of a teacher she respected deeply,
我在前言中指出了其中的一行，在这一行中，编辑描述了他参加了一位她非常尊敬的老师的讲座，
relating that “throughout his presentation, he quoted from his teachers, from books, from the founders of Western thought — everyone from Aristotle to Auden — and not once did he mention a woman’s name or recall the words of a woman.”
讲述了“在他的演讲中，他引用了他的老师、书籍、西方思想的创始人——从亚里士多德到奥登——的话。 他一次也没有提到过一个女人的名字，或者回忆起一个女人说过的话。”
Next, Mary Oliver:
接下来是玛丽·奥利弗:
One day you finally knew
有一天，你终于知道，
what you had to do, and began,
什么是你必须得做，并开始去做，
though the voices around you
虽然你周围的声音，
kept shouting
一直喊出，
their bad advice —
其各种糟糕的建议——
though the whole house
虽然整个房子，
began to tremble …
开始颤抖...
I didn’t know. I didn’t know what I was doing, what I had done, what I would do.
我不知道。 我不知道我在做什么，我做了什么，我将做什么。
I had only recently, within those past few months, for the first time, come near the idea that the words of a woman could matter.
直到最近，在过去的几个月里，我才第一次有了这样的想法，即女人的话可能很重要。
I had only begun to see that they hadn’t, my whole life.
我的一生中，我才开始意识到他们并没有。
… as you strode deeper and deeper
伴你步步，
into the world,
深入世途，
determined to do
决心去做，
the only thing you could do —
你唯一能做的事——
determined to save
决定去拯救，
the only life you could save.
你唯一能拯救的生命。
