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When cooking naturopathically, it's really important that you start with natural ingredients, meaning only ingredients found in our solar system.
当遵循自然疗法做饭时，用天然的材料是很重要的，这意味着只能在太阳系找到的材料。
No dirty Alpha Centauri peppers or disgusting Kruger 60 black beans.
没有肮脏的半人马座阿尔法星甜椒，或者恶心的克鲁格60的黑豆。
Just Earth Stuff.
只有来自地球的食材。
Before we start, we're gonna tape up a few coffee filters over the window screen.
我们开始之前，我们要在窗户上贴几张咖啡滤纸。
That way all of the oxygen reaching our food is purified.
这样所有碰到食材的空气都会被净化。
This will also keep any coffee from entering the kitchen through the window as well.
这也能防止空气里的咖啡从窗户进入厨房。
We're gonna take an onion and give it a little acupunctural therapy.
我们要拿一个洋葱，给它做个针灸。
You're aiming to really stimulate those flavor meridians.
你得好好地刺激这些经络。
And get those layers flowing with as much chi as possible.
让每层都气血畅通。
And then smash it against the wall.
然后把它往墙上一砸。
And then safely sterilize your needles with crystal infused water.
然后用注入了水晶的水安全地给针消毒。
Then we're gonna take a vaccine-free red pepper and quickly put it through a past-life regression therapy session.
然后我们拿一个未免疫的红椒，迅速给它做一个前世催眠回溯。
Wow, you're a total loser, hahaha!
哇哦，你是个彻头彻尾的失败者，哈哈哈！
Now that the pepper's had a chance to confront its past life issues, you wanna gently pick it up and smash it against the wall.
在红椒有机会面对了自己前世的问题后，你要温柔得拿起它，然后把它砸向墙壁。
I'm gonna start the cooking process by magnetizing the pan because magnets.
我要开始烹饪了，先给锅磁化，因为有磁铁。
And instead of electricity, we're gonna cook with 100% positron flow.
我们不用电煮，而是用100%的正电子流来烹饪。
We're gonna coat the pan with a medicine from Central and South America called coconut oil.
我们要在平底锅上涂一层来自中南美洲的一种叫做椰子油的药。
It's a cure-all which is a really nice thing to use.
这是一种灵丹妙药，用起来真的很不错。
And we're gonna get that onion and get that red pepper in there.
然后我们把洋葱和红椒放进去。
Next we'll take a can of black beans, drain out the ayahuasca they've been marinating in and give them a clockwise sacred spiral hydro-swirl.
接下来我们要拿一罐黑豆，把浸泡黑豆的死藤水沥干，然后给他们一个顺时针的神圣螺旋水力旋涡。
Next we'll take an heirloom tomato.
接下来拿出祖传西红柿。
And we're going to use cupping to suck all the toxins to the surface.
然后我们要用拔罐器把所有的毒素都吸出来。
Chop off the toxic part and put that inside an airtight container.
把有毒的部分切掉，把它放进一个密封容器中。
Keep in mind that toxins are toxic.
记住，毒素是有毒的。
So be careful to dispose of them in a suitable place in a safe and secure manner with a proper label so no-one will be harmed.
所以要小心地以安全的方式将它们放在一个合适的地方，贴上合适的标签，这样就没人会被伤害到了。
And now the rest of the tomato is perfectly healthy.
现在，这个番茄剩下的部分就是完全健康的了。
I'm gonna take a block of cheddar here and marinate it in some green smoothie.
我要拿一块切达干酪放在绿汁里腌一下。
Much like the cupping, this will help to detoxify and make it extra healthy.
跟拔罐很像，这样有助于排毒，让它变得更健康。
Then we'll rinse that off and throw it against the wall to express any residual anger we might have been holding on to, and then we'll shred it.
然后我们把它冲洗掉，把它往墙上一扔，发泄我们可能一直耿耿于怀的愤怒，然后把它磨碎。
Let's add the tomato and black beans into the pan mixture.
我们把番茄和黑豆加到锅里的混合物中。
Get out some salt, Triple P, maybe cumin, some hot sauce.
拿出盐，胡椒粉，或许来点孜然，一些辣酱。
If hot sauce is too hot for you, you can easily make homeopathic hot sauce by putting a drop into a container of water.
如果辣酱对你来说太辣了，你可以往一个装有水的容器中滴一滴，很容易就能做出顺势疗法辣酱。
Pour that water into a bathtub full of water, take some of that water and pour that into the ocean.
把它倒进蓄满水的浴缸，盛一点出来，倒进大海。
And now the whole ocean is homeopathic hot sauce.
现在，整片海洋都是顺势疗法辣酱了。
But be careful, it could make your dish taste cold.
但是注意，这可能会让你的菜尝起来很凉。
Now I'm gonna take a tortilla and remove the bio frequency healing stickers I put on here.
现在我要拿出一张玉米饼，把我贴在这里的生物频率治疗贴纸揭掉。
They're NASA grade, carbon lined, infused with subharmonic signals obviously.
这些贴纸是NASA级的，碳衬里，显然还注入了次谐波信号。
I've got some on my arms here, too
我胳膊上也有一些。
I'm rocking the sacred six frequencies, which have their roots in Gregorian chants, so I'm feeling pretty fxxking good right now.
我带着神圣的六频贴纸，它们起源于格里高利圣歌，所以我现在感觉超爽。
We're gonna take another pan and spray it with some chemicals because being too healthy can make you sick.
我们再拿出一个平底锅，喷上一些化学物质，因为太健康会让你生病。
Gonna throw down that tortilla, put down a layer of cheese, put in some of that filling, then some more cheese, and another tortilla on top.
把玉米薄饼放在上面，放一层奶酪，放一些馅料，再放一些奶酪，再放一个玉米薄饼。
We'll let that heat up for a bit.
让它加热一会儿。
And before you flip, use some acupressure to keep the quesadillas from getting motion sick.
在你给它翻面之前，用指压疗法让这个墨西哥夹饼不晕动。
And a good technique for flipping is to take another pan and create a therapeutic isolation chamber and then just flip that over.
翻面的一个好方法是，拿出另一个平底锅创造一个治疗隔离室，然后翻面就行了。
If you don't have an extra pan, just take some clothes pins to lock down the edges.
如果你没有多余的平底锅，就用一些夹衣服的夹子把边缘固定住。
This is a real stress-free way to flip a quesadilla.
用这种方法给墨西哥夹饼翻面完全毫无压力。
Throughout this whole process, you want to make sure you're getting a reflexology treatment as well.
在整个过程中，你也要确保自己得到了反射足疗。
How's that going Devin?
戴文，怎么样了？
Well I'm just focusing on clearing channels...
好吧，我只是在集中精力疏通经络……
Be quiet Devin, your negative voice vibrations ruin everything.
安静点，戴文，你消极的声音毁了一切。
If you want to make a more authentic Mexican quesadilla, you can take some Oaxaca cheese, put in some ham, more cheese, then fold it over like a smart person for easy flipping.
如果你想做更正宗的墨西哥夹饼，你可以拿出一些瓦哈卡奶酪，放一些火腿，加更多的奶酪，然后像聪明人那样把它折起来，这样容易翻面。
You can add some steak to the other one, but don't tell anybody because cows aren't naturopathic.
你可以在另一块上加一些牛排，但不要告诉任何人，因为牛不是自然疗法的。
And that's basically it.
基本就是这样了。
It's hard to go wrong with quesadillas.
做墨西哥夹饼很难翻车。
You can put anything you want inside of it.
你可以在里面放任何你想放的东西。
If you're finding it just doesn't quite taste right, you might not have stimulated the onion's flavor meridians quite enough.
如果你觉得味道不怎么样，那你可能没有充分刺激洋葱的味道经络。
Instead you can start by putting the onion inside the onion as a self-awareness ceremooo...
相反，你可以先把洋葱放在洋葱（烤箱）里面，作为一种自我意识仪式……
