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Hey, Psych2Goers, welcome back to our channel.
Psych2Goers，欢迎回来。
Do you often feel drained and unhappy in your relationship?
在你们的关系中，你有没有经常觉得累或者不快乐？
The person you once fell in love with just doesn't seem to be there.
他好像已经不是你曾经爱的那个人了。
And the relationship seems to have taken a turn in the wrong direction.
你俩的关系似乎在朝着错误的方向发展。
Healthy relationships sometimes take work but the positive feelings often take the front seat.
健康的关系有时需要维护，而积极的感觉往往最重要。
They say they love you, but because of the negative feelings, maybe you sense their love for you might be a toxic one.
他们嘴上说爱你，但你的消极的感觉可能会导致你觉得他们的爱是有毒的。
To help you identify if this may be the case, here are seven signs their love for you is toxic.
为了帮助你判断是否真的是这样，这里有七个迹象表明他们对你的爱是有毒的。
Number one, you give up on your needs because they just don't care.
第一，因为他们不在乎，所以你放弃了自己的需求。
Have you expressed your needs and wants in a relationship to your partner, only to have them ignored?
你有没有向你的伴侣表达过自己的需求，但却被忽视了？
It's unhealthy for our needs to be suppressed or put off. And this goes the same for our relationships needs.
抑制或推迟自己的需求是不健康的，人际关系需求也是如此。
Perhaps you desire a strong connection, affection or respect, but every time you bring up what you need as a couple, a fight erupts.
也许你渴望一种强烈的联系、情感或尊重，但每次当你们提出夫妻的所需时，就会爆发一场争吵。
Maybe they bring up accusations as a deflect, or maybe they decide to mock your needs instead.
他们可能会提出指责来转移你的注意力，也可能会嘲笑你的需求。
These are all toxic relationship behaviors.
这些都是有害的关系行为。
You may even give up on bringing up the topic because you simply want to sway away from another argument.
你甚至可能会放弃提出这个话题，因为你只想摆脱另一场争论。
But suppressing your feelings is never healthy.
但压抑自己的情感是不健康的。
Instead, both of your needs should be discussed in order to set the relationship back on a healthy track.
相反，为了让你们的关系回到健康的轨道上，双方的需求都应该被讨论。
Number two, hostile communication.
第二，敌对的沟通。
Does criticism take the lead in your conversations with your partner?
在你和伴侣的谈话中，批评有没有占据主导地位？
Are arguments a regular occurrence? Do you expect your partners sarcasm around every corner?
争论会经常出现吗？你希望你的伴侣整天挖苦你吗？
A healthy couple should value kindness and respect.
健康的夫妻应该珍视善良和尊重。
Respect and communication are one of the most important aspects of any relationship, without them your connection may falter.
尊重和沟通在任何关系中都是最重要的方面之一，没有它们，你们的关系可能就会摇摇欲坠。
Sooner or later, you may even avoid meaningful discussions.
到最后，你甚至会避开有意义的讨论。
Hostility, sarcasm and criticism are all signs of toxic communication.
敌意、讽刺和批评都是有害沟通的迹象。
Number three, you put in all the work.
第三，你付出了所有的努力。
Do you find that you're the only one putting in the effort?
你有没有觉得只有自己在努力？
Successful relationships require effort from both sides.
成功的关系需要双方共同的努力。
You may think you need to work just a little harder.
你可能觉得自己需要多努力一点。
Give a little more of yourself in order for the relationship to last.
为了这段关系的持久自己多付出一点。
You feel exhausted. Look back and ask yourself, have they ever put in any effort? Do they simply not care?
久而久之，你累了。然后回过头看看，问问自己对方是否付出过努力？对方是否有一丁点儿在意？
It's important to remember work from both sides needs to be given in order for a healthy relationship to last.
重要的是，要记住，为了维持健康的关系，双方都需要付出努力。
Number four, they're jealous.
第四，嫉妒。
Trust is huge in a relationship.
信任在一段关系中是非常重要的。
If you can't trust each other, that should be a red flag.
如果俩人之间不能互相信任，那么这应该是一个危险的信号。
If your partner often gets ridiculously jealous and takes it out on you, there's likely some trust issue is present.
如果你的伴侣经常莫名其妙地嫉妒你，把气撒在你身上，那么很有可能是你们之间的信任出现了问题。
This may even lead them to extreme behavior.
这甚至会导致他们做出极端的行为。
Do they over question you after a night out with friends?
和朋友出去玩儿一个晚上之后，他会问你很多问题吗？
Do they try to control your actions and enforce rules?
他是否会试图控制你的行为并制定规矩？
All, toxic behaviors.
所有这些都是不良行为。
Number five, resentment.
第五，怨恨。
Does that ever feel like your partner is keeping a tally sheet of all the mistakes you've made?
你有没有觉得你的伴侣在记录你犯过的所有错误？
They can't seem to stop bringing up past mistakes to use against you, even when you thought you'd resolved them.
他们似乎会一直提你过去的错误来对付你，即便你认为这些都是已经纠正的错误。
Holding onto graduates won't benefit anymore.
揪着过去不放不会有什么好处。
If they continue to hold on to their frustration and resent you, it will likely only grow.
如果对方一直宣诉自己的沮丧和怨恨，那么这种情绪只会持续增长。
Number six, they're controlling.
第六，控制欲强。
Does your partner seemingly question your every move?
你的伴侣会质疑你的每一个举动吗？
Have they suggested as that of over restricting rules for you to follow?
他们有没有建议你遵守一些过分限制的规则？
Controlling behavior fears are extremely toxic and could even be a sign of abuse.
控制行为恐惧是非常有害的，甚至可能是虐待的迹象。
You should never have to feel like someone else controls your actions as if they own you.
觉得别人控制了自己的行为，就好像他们拥有你一样，这种感觉永远都不应该出现。
And number seven, dishonesty.
第七，不诚实。
Communication and respect play a huge role in the strength of any relationship. But honesty is just as important.
沟通和尊重在任何关系中都扮演着重要的角色，而诚实也同样重要。
Communication has to be sincere in order for it to work.
沟通必须是真诚的，这样才能起作用。
And if you respect someone, you know they deserve the truth.
如果你尊重一个人，他们就值得知道真相。
If your partner often lies to you or simply avoid certain topics, it may be a sign, there needs to be a change, whether that means having an honest, open conversation or for you to move on.
如果你的伴侣经常对你撒谎或者只是回避某些话题，这可能是一个信号，说明是时候改变了，可以进行一次诚实、开放的对话，或者开启一段新的人生。
