I was not the only target of Mama's philosophy.
我不是妈妈处事哲学的唯一目标。
At one time or another, Mama had several dozen people in the neighborhood waiting for spring to relieve them of indigestion,
有那么一段时间,附近有几十个人等着春天时,妈妈帮他们解决消化不良、
mice, domestic difficulties, and trouble with the horizontal hold on their television sets.
老鼠、家庭琐事,以及电视机水平放置等等的各种麻烦。
Sometimes, sitting in school during history (which Mama promised me I'd find less boring in the spring),
有时,上历史课时(妈妈答应我,春天我会觉得不那么无聊),
I would daydream my mother into other places and other times.
我会白日做梦妈妈去了别的地方,或出现在别的时间。
Once I saw her patting Napoleon on the back, after he got the news from the Russian front.
有一次我看到她拍拿破仑的背,那是在他得到俄国前线的消息之后。
("Maybe in spring ...") She was beside George Washington at Valley Forge, brushing snow off his epaulets.
(“也许在春天……”)她在福吉谷和乔治华盛顿在一起,擦去他肩章上的雪。
("In spring, maybe, you'll win the revolution.") She was looking over Thomas Edison's shoulder, comforting him in his early failures.
(“在春天,也许你会赢得革命。”)她看着托马斯·爱迪生的肩膀,安慰他早年的那些失败。
("Don't worry; maybe in the spring you'll try something new.")
(“别担心,也许春天你会尝试一些新东西。”)
I have been worrying for weeks now about what to give my mother for Mother's Day.
几个星期以来,我一直在担心母亲节该送什么礼物给妈妈。
For most people, this is a modest problem, solved by the purchase of a bathrobe or a box of candy.
对大多数人来说,这并不是什么大问题,买一件浴袍或一盒糖果就可以解决。
For me, however, Mother's Day represents an annual challenge to do the impossible—find a gift that will make neither Mama nor me feel terrible.
然而,对我来说,母亲节是一年一度挑战不可能之事的时候,我要找到一份既不会让妈妈也不会让我自己感到难受的礼物。
Expensive gifts—which Mama defines as costing over $1.98—are out, because they make Mama feel terrible.
按照妈妈的定义,价值超过1.98美元的昂贵礼物已经过时了,因为它们让妈妈感觉很糟糕。
("This is awful," she says, examining an apron. "I feel just terrible. You shouldn't have spent the money on me.")
(“这太可怕了,”她边说边查看一条围裙。“我感觉糟透了,你不该把钱花在我身上。”)
Inexpensive presents—under $1.98—please Mama, but they make me feel terrible.
1.98美元以下的便宜礼物会让妈妈高兴,但它们让我感觉糟透了。
There is always the danger that a gift given to Mama will bounce swiftly back to the giver.
送给妈妈的礼物总有被迅速退回给送礼者的危险。
If I buy her something wearable, she perceives in an instant that it could be let in here, let out there, and it would fit me perfectly.
如果我给她买些可穿戴的东西,她会立刻意识到,它可以放在这里,放在那里,它会非常适合我。
If I give her a plant, she cuts off the top for me to take home and root in a glass of water.
如果我给她一棵植物,她就会把它的顶部剪掉,让我带回家,然后把根部放在一杯水里。
If I give her something edible, she wants me to stay for lunch and eat it.
如果我给她吃的,她会把我留下来吃午饭。
Papa, a sensible man, long ago stopped trying to shop for Mama.
爸爸是个聪明人,很久以前就不再为妈妈买东西了。
Instead, on Mother's Day, her birthday, and other appropriate occasions,
取而代之的是,在母亲节、她的生日和其他合适的场合,
he composes a short epic poem in which he tells of their meeting, courtship, and subsequent marriage.
他会写一首短诗,讲述他们的相遇、求爱和随后的婚姻。
After nearly 30 years of poems, Papa sometimes worries that the edge of his poetic inspiration has dulled, but Mama doesn't complain.
经过近30年的诗歌创作,爸爸有时担心他的诗歌灵感已经枯竭,但妈妈没有抱怨。
She comes into the room while he is struggling over a gift poem and says, "It doesn't have to rhyme as long as it's from the heart."
当他为一首作为礼物的诗歌苦苦挣扎时,她会走进房间说:“只要是发自内心的,就不必押韵。”
This year, finally, I think I, too, have found a painless gift for Mama.
今年,我想我也终于为妈妈找到了一份轻松愉快的礼物。
I am going to give her a magazine article, unrhymed but from the heart,
我要送给她一篇发表在杂志中的文章,没有赞美,但发自内心,
in which I wish her "Happy Mother's Day" and tell her there's nothing Papa or I could ever buy, find, or make her that would be half good enough anyway.
我在文章最后祝她“母亲节快乐”,并告诉她,我和爸爸无法买到、找到或作出什么礼物,能与这份礼物相媲美。