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I think-I establish before-there is no perfect person. Now it may seem perfect when we first meet.
我以前也说过了 没有完美的人 我们第一次见面的时候可能感觉是完美的
And during the honeymoon phase, it is perfect. He or she is perfect.
在度蜜月的时候 也是完美的 他或她是完美的
But beyond that, suddenly, we begin to identify flaws.
但是突然 我们开始发现对方的缺点了
Hey, that's not the person I thought I got together with initially.
那不是我一开始以为可以在一起的那人
Yes, of course it's not, if what I expect is Barbie or Ken. Straight line. But it's a human being.
当然 如果我期待的是芭比娃娃或肯的话 完美的 但是对方可是人
And if I expect perfectionism from the other, I will inevitably be disappointed.
如果我从对方身上期待的是完美 我肯定会失望的
And that leads to frustration, lacks of acceptance toward the partner, and very often, usually harms the relationship.
这也会引起沮丧 对自己的伴侣不认可 也常常会伤害到人与人之间的关系
Versus on-going growth of the relationship, as we'll talk about when we talk about relationships.
相对于持续成长的关系来说 这是我们会在谈论人际关系的时候谈论到的
The ideal relationship is not a relationship that is devoid of failure, that is devoid of disagreements.
理想的人际关系不是一个没有失败、没有不和的关系
The ideal relationship is one where there's mostly good stuff, but there's also disagreements, disappointments, fights.
理想的人际关系在包含众多积极因素 同时也会包含不和、失望和争吵
That's actually healthy. It helps the relationship become stronger over time. The issue is of degree.
那才是健康的人际关系 这让人际关系随时间变得更加稳固 关键是其中的度
How much positive versus negative do you have in the relationship?
你在人际关系中包含的积极因素与消极因素各是多少？
The issue is not having only positives and no negatives. That's not a healthy relationship.
这里的关键不是只有积极而没有消极的因素 这样的关系是不健康的
That's a relationship with a lot of suppression and repression at best.
这样的关系有过多的抑制与压抑
Perfectionism leads to anxiety, leads to stress.
完美主义会导致焦虑和压力
