But three minutes later, I go to the fridge again, just to make sure it's still there.
但是在三分钟以后 我回到冰箱那看蛋糕还在不在
Why? Those of you who know my brother understand why. My brother is much bigger than I am.
为什么 你们中认识我兄弟的都明白 我兄弟块头比我大多了
And he likes my mom's cooking no less than I do.
他对我母亲的厨艺的喜爱一点不在我之下
So I was just making sure that it was still there. And it was.
所以我去确定蛋糕还在那 确实还在
And then 10 minutes later, I had to go back because my brother had just disappeared from my eyes a few minutes.
再过了十分钟 我必须再去检查一遍 因为我兄弟在我视线内消失了几分钟
I thought he went to the fridge. So I opened the fridge again and it was still there. So I was relieved.
我以为他到冰箱那去了 所以我又打开了冰箱一次 蛋糕还在 然后我感到一阵轻松
And then about 5 minutes later I had to go back to the fridge.
大约五分钟以后我又回到冰箱那里
I opened the door and two minutes later, there was no cake.
我打开冰箱门 两分钟以后蛋糕就不见了
All or nothing. Either I don't touch it, or I devour it. This is the schema that a perfectionist has.
要么全部要么没有 要么我不碰 要么我吃完 这就是完美主义者持有的基模
It's not "OK, let me have a slice of it." It's nothing or all.
不会说 “好吧 我就吃一块” 要么不吃要么吃完
And this is the schema that perfectionists have: either I'm a supermodel or I'm overweight.
所以这就是完美主义者的基模:我要么成为超级模特 要么超重
All or nothing. And it's destructive. It hurts so much on so many levels. As opposed to the healthy approach.
要么全部要么没有 这是很有破坏力的 这会对我们产生各个层次的严重伤害 相对于健康的方式而言
OK, so I'll have a slice. So I'll have a little bit. OK, so I gained a couple of pounds-big deal?!
好的 我就吃一小块 好的 我重了几磅 这算大事吗
I'm human. I'm not a machine. I'm not a Barbie. Or Ken.
我是人 我不是机器 也不是芭比娃娃 更不是肯
I caught myself there. Hurts self-esteem. Why? Because…
我说错话了 这很伤自尊 为什么 因为
Nathaniel Branden who writes about self-esteem-we'll talk a lot about him in that lecture 3 weeks from now.
纳撒尼尔·布兰登写过很多关于自尊的文字 我们在未来三周内将会更多地讲到他