By the time I got to making Black Swan, the experience was entirely my own,
当我拍《黑天鹅》时,整个经历都是属于我自己的,
I felt immune to the worst things anyone could say or write about me.
我感觉自己已经刀枪不入,不怕别人怎么用嘴喷怎么用笔骂。
And to whether the audience felt like to see my movie or not.
也不在意观众是否愿意到影院看我的片子。
It was instructive for me to see ballet dancers, once your technique gets to a certain level,
对我很有启示的是,对于芭蕾舞者,当你的技巧达到一定高度后,
the only thing that separates you from others is your quirks or flaws.
唯一能让你与他人不同的,就是你的怪异甚至瑕疵。
One ballerina was famous for how she turned slightly off balanced.
有位芭蕾舞者因转圈的轻微不平衡而出名。
You can never be the best, technically.
从技术上说,你永远不能做到最好。
Someone will always have a higher jump or a more beautiful line.
总有人比你跳的更高,或者有更美的姿态。
The only thing you can be the best at is developing your own self.
你唯一能做到最好的,就是发展你的自我。
Authoring your own experience was very much what Black Swan itself was about.
为你自己的体验做主就是《黑天鹅》所讲的事。
I worked with Darren Aronofsky the director whom changed my last line in the movie to: It was perfect.
达伦·阿伦诺夫斯基导演把我最后一句台词改成了:这真完美。
Because my character Nina is only artistically successful when she finds perfection and pleasure for herself,
因为我的角色Nina在艺术上的成功,只在为自己找到完美和愉悦之时出现,
not when she was trying to be perfect in the eyes of others.
而不是为了试图在别人眼中变得完美。
So when Black Swan was successful financially and I began receiving accolades.
所以当《黑天鹅》取得商业上的成功,而我也开始得到赞扬之时,
I felt honored and grateful to have connected with people.
我觉得荣耀和感恩的是,我接触到了人心。
But the true core of my meaning I had already established.
我已经建立了自己价值的真正核心。
And I needed it to be independent of people's reactions to me.
我需要它不受别人反应的影响。
People told me that Black Swan was an artistic risk.
大家告诉我《黑天鹅》是艺术上的冒险。
A scary challenge to try to portray a professional ballet dancer.
演艺职业芭蕾舞者是恐怖的挑战。
But it didn't feel like courage or daring that drove me do it.
但我觉得促使我去演的并非是勇气或胆量。
I was so oblivious to my own limits that I did things I was woefully unprepared to do.
而是我对自身局限的毫无所知,我对所做之事压根没有准备。
And so the very inexperience that in college had made me feel insecure and made me want to play by others' rules,
无经验让我在大学时缺乏自信,让我愿意遵循他人的规则。
now is making me actually take risks. I didn't even realize were risks.
如今,它让我敢于接受挑战。那些我根本没意识到是挑战的挑战。
When Darren asked me if I could do ballet,
当达伦导演问我是否能演芭蕾舞者时,
I told him that I was basically a ballerina which by the way I wholeheartedly believed.
我跟他说我基本就是个芭蕾舞者,当时我真心是这样以为的。
When it quickly became clear that preparing for the film that I was 15 years away from being a ballerina.
很快,在准备拍摄时我才明白,我距离芭蕾舞者还差15年的功夫。
It made me work a million times harder and of course the magic of cinema and body doubles helped the final effect.
这逼着我多付出了数百万倍的努力,当然特效和替身也帮忙造出了最终效果。
But the point is, if I had known my own limitations, I never would have taken the risk.
但关键是,如果我知道自己的局限,我绝对不会冒这个险。
And the risk led to one of my greatest artistic personal experiences.
而风险为我带来了最棒的艺术体验。
And that I not only felt completely free, I also met my husband during the filming.
我不仅感觉到完全的无拘无束,还在拍摄时找到了丈夫。