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In order to get close to someone, you must let your guard down.
为了亲近某人，就必须卸下自己的防备。
That's why it's always such a big risk to confess your feelings.
因此袒露自己的情感总伴随着巨大的风险。
Experiencing a few heartbreaks is to be expected in the world of dating
总希望恋爱时少经历心碎
but it's a whole nother problem getting involved with a sociopath.
但是和反社会者交往是一个截然不同的的问题。
Wondering if you're in danger? Here are eight warning signs you're dating a sociopath.
想知道自己是否中招？以下是你的对象是反社会者的8个警示。
1. They come off strong and move the relationship quickly.
1. 他们表现强硬，你们的恋情发展迅速。
Did your partner say they loved you after just a few dates?
你的对象是不是在约会几次后就说爱你？
Sociopaths thrive on speed and they move the relationship fast to prevent you from changing your mind.
反社会者讲求速度，他们迅速发展恋情是为了防止你改变想法。
It might seem exciting at first but you'll have a harder time untangling yourself from their web of lies
开始很刺激，但是你会越来越难以解开他们谎言网
and you'll believe they're more invested in the relationship than they actually are.
你会认为他们对这段关系投入很多，但其实并不是。
2. You can't stay mad at them for long.
2. 无法一直生他们的气。
Sociopaths are master, manipulators, they know which button to push to make you trust them.
反社会者是主人，是掌控者，他们知道按下哪个按钮能使你信任他们。
Psychologist Bill Eddy notes that common patterns to watch out for our big promises they make and can't live up to:
心理学家比尔·埃迪表示注意他们许下却无法实现的大承诺的普遍模式：
telling exaggerated stories and making big plans for the future that have no actual foundation.
说大话和制定没有实事基础的未来大计划。
3. They're incredibly good in bed.
3. 他们在床上很棒。
Yes, this is a sign before you roll your eyes, get this,
是的，这是一种迹象，
sociopaths are not only good with their words but good at sex.
反社会者不仅擅长花言巧语，性也一样擅长。
They'll make you feel like you have amazing sexual chemistry but they're not in it because they want to please you.
他们会让你感觉有种奇妙的性吸引力，但是他们并不享受其中，因为他们想要取悦你。
Instead, the sex is all for their ego, sociopaths love control and they will use sex as a weapon to remain dominant.
相反，性是为了他们的自我，反社会者喜欢控制，他们利用性作为掌控主导地位的武器。
4. They don't let you meet their friends and here's why.
4. 他们不会让你见他们的朋友，原因如下。
Sociopaths don't have close relationships with many people.
反社会者不会和多人建立亲密关系。
Psychotherapist Ross Rosenberg says that they don't want friends unless they need them.
精神治疗医师罗斯·罗森博格表示他们不想要朋友，除非他们需要。
So even if they claim to have friends, the connections they have are superficial.
所以即便他们称自己有朋友，他们之间的关系也很浅薄。
Although it's nice to spend quality time with your lover,
虽然和自己的爱人腻在一起很棒，
if your partner refuses to participate in group hangouts this might be a potential red flag.
但如果你的伴侣拒绝参与团体活动，这就要亮起小红旗了。
Before we continue any further, we just want to point out a really impactful abuse of X series by the wonderful illyamation
进入下一点之前，我们想说一下illyamation的X系列
if you haven't watched it yet be sure to check it out.
如果没看，一定要去看看。
5. They break the rules a lot.
5. 他们经常打破规则。
Who doesn't like a bad boy or a bad girl every once in a while. They really know how to live life on the edge but so do sociopaths.
谁没喜欢过坏男孩女孩呢。他们知道怎么给生活增加刺激，但是反社会者也一样。
Although not every sociopaths go often break the law,
虽然不是每个反社会者都会违法，
they have a tendency to be overly spontaneous and take pleasure from defying authority, all while disregarding other people's feelings.
但他们有过度无意识以及从违抗权威中获取快乐的倾向，同时无视别人的感受。
6. You often make excuses for them.
6. 你经常为他们找借口。
If there's one thing consistent about a sociopath it's their lack of taking responsibility for their own actions.
关于反社会者如果有一件始终如一的事，那就是他们缺乏为自己的行为负责的责任感。
Do you find yourself always apologizing even when you're not at fault?
你有没有发现自己总在道歉，哪怕不是你的错？
Or ever come home and discover more messes you have to clean up?
或是回到家，发现家里更加混乱需要你收拾？
Sociopaths will use people to get what they want but will play the victim card
反社会者将利用他人得到自己想要的，然后自己还扮演起了受害者
and say that they need you if you bring up any of your concerns.
如果你提出任何担忧，他们还会说自己需要你。
7. They never seem to grow up.
7. 他们从没有成长。
Initially, this might have been what attracted you to them.
最初，你会被他们的这一点所吸引。
Unpredictable, excitable and even reckless at times, they know how to keep you feeling young at heart.
神秘、刺激以及时而不顾后果，他们知道如何让你保持一颗年轻的心。
But there's a difference between youthfulness and immaturity,
但是年轻和不成熟是有区别的，
high-functioning sociopaths can hold down jobs but low functioning ones often do not.
高功能反社会者能保住工作，但低功能的通常不能。
The DSM, a tool psychologists use to diagnose patients
心理学家通常用于诊断病人的手册
also states that sociopaths frequently show poor judgment and fail to learn from their mistakes.
也说到反社会者经常有判断力低下的表现，且无法从错误中学习。
8. They seem too good to be true.
8. 他们似乎好得令人难以置信。
Sociopaths know how to charm the pants off anyone but especially to the people they want to get romantically involved with.
反社会者知道如何对任何人散发魅力，尤其是对那些他们想要发展恋爱关系的人。
They have an incapacity for love but know how to marry your emotions, making you feel closer to them than you really are.
他们对爱无力，但却知道如何逗你开心，让你感觉和他们更加亲密（事实并非如此）。
Initially you'll feel like the two of you are soulmates but in reality they simply know how to be everything you desire in a partner.
起初你会觉得你们俩是灵魂伴侣，但事实上，他们只是知道如何成为你想象中的伴侣。
Do you recognize any of these habits? Not sure what sets apart a sociopath from a psychopaths?
你知道其中这些习惯么？不知道反社会者和精神病患者的区别？
Psych2 go does have a video on this, so be sure to check it out. Thanks for watching.
我们有一期关于这个的视频，一定要去看啊。感谢收看。
