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Lust has a reputation for being the flame we jump into,
欲望是我们跳下的火海，
think of Fifty Shades of Grey or your classic bad boy or bad girl whose all games in danger with no strings attached.
想想《五十度灰》或是典型的坏男孩女孩，他们都喜欢没有条件的危险游戏。
But according to leading love expert Dr. Helen Fisher lust is the essential first stage of love.
但是首席爱情专家海伦·费舍尔博士表示，欲望是爱情的第一必备阶段。
Without the desire of wanting someone first, we cannot experience intimacy.
起初没有想要某个人的欲望，那么我们就无法体会亲密。
So how do we know if we're still stuck in the initial stage of attraction or
所以我们怎么知道自己是否困在了吸引的最初阶段还是
ready to transition into something more meaningful and long-lasting? Here are 6 key differences between lust vs love.
已经准备好向更有意义更长久的关系转变呢？以下是欲望和爱之间的6个关键区别。
1. Lust is driven by physical connection but love comes from emotional connection. It all comes down to our brain.
1. 欲望被身体接触所驱动，而爱来自情感连接。都和大脑有关。
Which areas are being activated when you hang out with your partner?
和伴侣约会时，大脑的哪个区域会被触发呢？
Research shows that lust lights of the regions associated with reward and motivation
研究表明欲望和奖励动机区域相关联
whereas love stimulates the areas that help you empathize.
而爱会刺激帮助你产生同理心的区域。
Lust happens when you and your partner don't have much to talk about but have great sex.
当你和你的伴侣除了性就无话可说时就会产生欲望。
This is common for two people who haven't been dating for too long.
这常发生在两个刚约会不久的人身上。
But love, on the other hand happens when you appreciate your partner for more than just their looks and can spend meaningful time with them.
但另一方面，当你不仅仅喜欢对方的外表，还能和他们共同度过有意义的时光时，这就是爱。
This is what ultimately forms the start of a deep and serious relationship.
这就是最终形成深刻正式恋爱关系的开端。
2. Overtime love grows stronger whereas lust becomes weaker.
2. 随时间流逝，爱情越来越强大，而欲望越来越小。
Psychologist of sex therapist Shannon Chavez states that as attachment and bonding grow over time so does love.
性治疗心理专家Shannon Chavez表示依附和密切连接会随着时间增长，爱也一样。
But lust is more temporary and fades when sexual desire fades away.
但是欲望更像是暂时性的，并随着性欲的消失而消失。
If a relationship is based solely on lust, there is inevitably no foundation to fall in love with each other.
如果一段关系仅仅依靠欲望维系，那么这段恋情必然没有爱上彼此的基础。
Lust feels like an exciting roller coaster but can only be sustained by physical pleasure.
欲望感觉像是刺激的过山车，但是仅仅只能依靠身体的欢愉维系。
When the real work kicks in, the dynamic either transitions into love or the relationship begins to fall apart.
当真正的工作开始时，这种活力要么转换成爱要么这段关系开始瓦解。
3. Lust is based on fantasies, love, however operates on the ground of reality.
3. 欲望基于幻想，但爱以现实为基础。
Have you ever looked back on past relationships and wondered how on earth you two got together?
你有没有回头看看过去的恋爱关系，想想你们到底是怎么在一起的？
I don't know about you but I sure do.
我就有过。
Imagination can come in handy when life gets mundane but more often than not it's like a double-edged sword.
当生活变得平淡无奇，想象就出现了，但是这通常像是一把双刃剑。
When you like the idea of someone more than who's actually in front of you, it can cause you to miss a lot of red flags.
当你喜欢幻想出来的某个人多于眼前真实的人，这就会让你错过很多红色警告。
Relationship experts state that there is only so much time before reality sets in and makes you realize
情感关系专家表示在现实来临，在你意识到你的伴侣和你一样会犯错
that your partner has faults just like you and that your expectations were unfair.
并且你的预期是不公平的之前，就只有那么多时间。
4. In lust, your romantic partners but in love, your lifelong friends.
4. 在欲望中你们是浪漫的伴侣，但在爱中，你们是一生的朋友。
Psychiatrist Judith Orloff discovered that people in lust are just lovers but true love is built on the foundation of a strong friendship.
精神病学家朱迪丝·奥洛夫发现深陷欲望中的人们只是情人，但真爱是建立在一段牢固关系基础上的。
Sure! Two people can agree to be in a relationship, go on fun dates and even meet each other's family
没错！两个人可以恋爱、约会甚至和双方家人见面
but if they lack compromise, communicate poorly and fail to understand each other the prospect of having a future together is very low.
但如果他们不会妥协、沟通，无法理解对方，那么他们未来在一起的几率很低。
5. Lust is all about thrill-seeking whereas love is the pursuit of stability.
5. 欲望是关于寻求刺激，而爱是追求稳定。
Researchers have looked at MRI scans of people in lust and found that their brains look similar when an addict gets a fix of cocaine.
研究人员观察了身处欲望中的人们的核磁共振扫描图像，发现他们的大脑和吸食可卡因的大脑很像。
Sounds intense, right? But that's why infatuation is not likely to last as long as love.
听起来很刺激，是不是？但是这就是为什么迷恋不能像爱一样长久的原因。
The drug effects wear off when you can no longer say she ate your sexual desires
当你说她再也无法挑起你的性欲时，药效也就消失了
whereas lust is about instant gratification, love is the relentless search for stability.
欲望是即可满足，而爱是不断地寻找稳定。
6. Lust is selfish but love comes from a selfless place.
6. 欲望很自私，但爱源于无私。
When you love someone you focus more on helping them reach their goals and care about their health and well-being.
当你爱上一个人时，你更多的关注帮助他们取得目标，关心他们的健康。
Lust, on the other hand is all about your own wants, like boosting your ego
而欲望是关于你自己，比如在有吸引力的伴侣旁
when you're next to your attractive partner or simply fulfilling your sexual desires.
满足自尊心或仅为了满足自己的性欲。
In order to move from the initial stage of lust to love,
为了从欲望的初级阶段转移到爱，
you must determine whether you could see yourself doing fevers or making sacrifices for your partner.
你需要判断你是否能够看到自己的热情或是为伴侣牺牲。
Do you think you're in lust or in love? We hope that this video helpe you differentiate between the two.
你觉得你们是身处欲望还是爱呢？我们希望本期视频能帮助你们区别两者。
Remember that just because you might only be experiencing lust doesn't mean that your feelings can't develop into love.
记住你仅体会到欲望并不意味着你们无法发展成爱。
Please share your thoughts with us below. Also be sure to subscribe to our channel for more helpful content and thank you for watching.
请在下方分享你们的想法。一定要订阅我们的频道获取更多有用内容，感谢大家的收看。
