评论
打印
It's popular relieved that long-distance relationships never work out.
大家都认为异地恋是不会有结果的。
But sometimes absence does make the heart grow fonder
但有时缺席确实让彼此更加喜欢
and people learn to take their partners less for granted when they're not always around.
也让人们学会更加珍惜对方。
It's also worth noting that some couples far away from each other feel closer than couples who live with each other
值得注意的是一些异地恋情侣比那些住在一起的情侣感觉更加亲近，
because they're more willing to communicate their problems with one another.
因为他们更愿意交流彼此的问题。
It all boils down to one word: effort. Here's six tips on maintaining long-distance relationships.
千言万语归结为一句话：努力。以下是维系异地恋的六种小技巧。
1. Give them a personal gift to hold onto.
1. 送礼物。
Before the two of you depart, give each other something you can hold onto and remember one another by.
在两人分别之前，互赠寄托思念的礼物。
A few examples you may be inspired by include exchanging nightlights, stuffed animals, jewelry, hoodies or mugs.
比如夜间照明灯、填充玩具动物、珠宝、连帽衫或马克杯。
What you decide to give your partner doesn't have to be big or expensive.
送的礼物不必巨大或昂贵。
Instead, focus on how the object has served to bring meaning into your life.
专注那些对生命有意义的礼物。
2. Set routines and learn about each other's schedules.
2. 制定日常活动表并了解彼此日程安排。
Time zones can be tricky but learn to appreciate the differences.
时区是件麻烦事，但是要学会欣赏差异。
This can teach you the value of patience and remind you that
这可以教会你耐心的价值并提醒你
relationships don't thrive or grow from moments of instant gratification.
即刻的满足不能让你们的关系甜蜜成长。
Once you and your partner gets settled in and adjust to your new lifestyles,
一旦你和你的伴侣定下来就开始调整你的们的新生活方式，
let each other know about your schedules and routines,
让对方知道你们的计划安排和日常活动。
depending on how much of a difference your time zone is.
这些取决于你的们之间的时差。
You may need to take turns accommodating to each other's availability to set up Skype dates or phone calls.
你们需要相互适应彼此并制定视频或打电话的日期。
It may sound daunting but once the two of you figure out a rhythm
听起来很麻烦，但是一旦你们两找准一个合适彼此节奏，
that works for the both of you the rest will set sail.
剩下的就会顺利进展了。
3. Build trust and try not to jump to conclusions or assume the worst.
3. 建立信任，不要过早下结论或是往最坏了想。
Life can be unpredictable, so sometimes things come up such as family emergencies,
生活不可预测，所以有时事情就那么突然发生了，比如，家庭紧急情况、
working overtime or illness that may interrupt your usual communication patterns.
加班或是生病，这些或许会打乱你们的正常交流模式。
Rather than worrying about whether your partner is cheating on you
不要担心你的伴侣是否在欺骗你
or if they've grown bored of the relationship and may be spending more time with their friends
或是对方是否厌倦了这段关系，还是想和朋友多呆一会，
know that there's no actual proof or evidence to back up those anxious thoughts.
要知道你并没有真实的证据证明你的这些焦虑的想法。
Build trust with your partner and ask each other how you're feeling
建立和伴侣之间的信任，询问对方的感受
rather than bottling up insecurity and making the walls bigger.
而不是克制不安全感并建立起更大的阻隔。
Getting answers directly from your partner is better than over analyzing and filling in those gaps yourself.
直接询问对方好过过度分析和瞎猜。
4. It's not about how often you talk to each other, instead focus on quality communication.
4.重点并不是你们沟通的次数，而是沟通的质量。
Consistent communication is important when the two of you are apart from each other,
彼此分开的时候，不断的交流很重要，
especially when the physical aspect of the relationship is absent.
特别是当一段关系肢体方面缺席时。
But too much of it can also backfire and leave the two of you feeling smothered or burnt out.
但是过多也会适得其反并让你们感觉窒息或疲惫。
Rather than texting each other every hour of the day,
不要整天给对方发短信，
find balance and moderation and focus on the quality of your conversations instead of how frequently the two of you talk.
要寻找一个平衡并专注于你们交谈的质量而不是频率。
You may come to find that the more you talk to each other, the more you end up talking about the same things in circles
你会慢慢发现彼此交谈越多，你们以同一话题结尾的次数就越多
rather than delving into a meaningful conversation that makes you appreciate each other's intellect, ideas and perspectives.
却没能深入探索更有意义的话题，让你们欣赏彼此的才智、想法和看法。
5. Make time to see each other but know that every visit may not be ideal and that's ok.
5. 抽时间去看看对方，但是要知道并不是每次都是美满的，但这也没关系。
When you visit each other, you may want to make the best out of your time together and plan to do exciting things
当你们来看彼此时，你或许想要和对方度过最棒的一天并计划做一些刺激的事情
but we're all human, so allow room for flexibility instead of perfection.
但是我们都是普通人，所以要允许灵活性而不是完美主义。
There may be times when you're exhausted from traveling back and forth and just want to stay in and watch a movie with your partner.
有时当你结束疲劳的来回旅程后，只想待在室内和伴侣看电影。
Or perhaps there's a delay in your flight that may bleed into your dinner reservations.
或许你的飞机延误了，可能影响了你预定的晚餐。
Doing fun activities and bonding with your partner is important
和对方黏在一起开心的玩很重要
but sometimes it's good to just play things by ear and go with the flow.
但有时伺机而动，顺其自然也很好啊。
Remember it's about the company you're with and not necessarily what the two of you do.
记住重要的是陪伴而不是做了什么。
6. Embrace the challenges together.
6. 共同拥抱挑战。
Long-distance relationships are difficult but don't let the challenges tear you apart.
异地恋很艰难，但是不要让挑战将你们分开。
Instead, embrace them together.
相反你们要共同拥抱挑战。
Sometimes your insecurities may get the best of you,
有时你的不安全感将你击倒，
consequently, you may believe the two of you would be better off breaking up and meeting new people.
结果你就会认为你们两个人最好是分手。
Take a step back and think about why you held on for so long in the first place.
回头看看，想想你们为什么能够坚持那么久。
Whether the two of you are apart because you're going to different schools
不论是因为去不同学校读书
or because of a job promotion know that the long distance is only temporary
还是因为升职，这些分离都是暂时的，
and that you're working on yourselves before the two of you can be together again.
在你们再次相聚前，你们自己也应该加油。
It's a common misconception to think that in order for relationships to work,
人们常误以为为了使这段关系维系，
one person has to sacrifice their needs and desires for the other.
一个人应该牺牲自己的需求满足对方的意愿。
In reality, this is how relationships often break apart when people feel stifled and can't grow together.
现实是，这就是一段关系走向终点的原因，这么做会让人感到窒息，无法共同成长。
Never lose sight of the big picture and don't give up.
不要只看小枝小节，不要放弃。
Have you ever been or are currently in a long-distance relationship?
你有异地恋经历么？
Do you have some tips on how to deal with one? Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below.
你有什么建议？请在下方评论留言。
If you like this video, be sure to check out our website and other social media as well as our patreon account for more content.
如果你喜欢本期视频，请登录我们的网站和其他社交媒体，以及我们的patreon观看更多内容。
And don't forget to subscribe. Thanks for watching.
不要忘记订阅。感谢收看。
