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如何停止忧虑 开始新的生活

来源:可可英语 编辑:Jenny   可可英语APP下载 |  可可官方微信:ikekenet

I spent most of my life constantly worrying about stuff.

我一生中大部分时间都在担心一些事情。
Now fast forward to today, and it's extremely rare that I worry about anything,
时间快进到今天,我基本不怎么担心了,
and when I do, it usually lasts about 20-30 seconds until I catch myself and stop.
当我担心的时候,一般会持续二三十秒直到我把自己拉回来为止。
And cultivating that has made my life literally a hundred times better.
培养不担心的能力简直让我的生活变好了上百倍。
So I think if you're looking for ways to stop worrying and stressing,
所以我想如果你在寻找停止担心和加压的方法的话,
you understand the benefits and I don't really have to sell you on it...
你就会明白其中的益处,我也不会真的向你推销…
But just to give you a very short summary: you can actually start having time to enjoy life.
但只是给你个简短的总结:你可以真正有时间去享受生活了。
You won't be constantly miserable, and you won't be destroying your health and making yourself constantly sick.
你不会再一直痛苦,你也不会损害自己的健康让自己一直病着。
And I think that sounds pretty good.
我想那听起来相当不错。
So the two books that had a huge impact on me were Eckhart Tolle's The Power of Now,
所以对我产生巨大影响的两本书是艾克哈特·托勒的《当下的力量》,
and Viktor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning, which I recommend everyone read.
和维克多·弗兰克的《活出生命的意义》,我建议每个人都去读读这两本书。
But today, I'm going to talk about four of my favorite ideas from another great book,
但是今天,我要讨论一下另一本好书里的我最喜欢的四个观点,
Dale Carnegie's How to Stop Worrying and Start Living.
这本书就是戴尔·卡耐基的《人性的优点》。
So the first big idea is: Ask yourself, what's the worst thing that can happen?
所以第一要点是:问问你自己,可能发生的最糟糕的事情是什么?
I remember the first year in college constantly worrying about my grades.
我记得大学第一年的时候一直担心自己的成绩。
What was I going to do if I got a B+ instead of an A?
如果我得了B+而不是A我会怎么办?
Well, surely my life would be over and I would never amount to anything in life.
那我的生活肯定就完蛋了,我再也不可能有任何成就了。
Like, that was seriously the thought process going through my 17 year old head.
好像那真的是我17岁大脑的思维过程。
Now fast forward five years, I was cleaning a few days ago and found my diploma in some weird place in my house.
快进五年,几天前我打扫卫生,在房子里一个奇怪的地方找到了我的学位证书。
Haven't even opened the box since I got it, and will never even end up using it for the rest of my life.
找到它以后我连盒子都没打开过,我的余生中也不会再用到它。
That is a perfect example of what your brain does to you.
这是大脑作用于你的一个很好的例子。
It starts to freak out with uncertainty.
它始于对不确定的恐惧。
If you don't clearly define the worst thing,
如果你不清晰的定义一下最坏的情况,
your brain will find a way to equate you getting a B+ to you completely ruining your life.
你的大脑会把得了B+等同于生活毁灭。
But in reality, the worst thing is never really that bad.
但事实上,最糟糕的事情其实没有那么糟糕。
I get messages all the time from people saying, "Hey, I'm really inspired by your channel."
我一直收到人们的消息,“嘿,你的频道很有鼓舞作用。”
"I want to start my own, but I'm experiencing a lot of resistance."
“我也想开一个,但是我经历了很多阻碍。”
And here's the thing... So did I.
事实上…我也是。
Your brain's default is literally to think, "I will make a video. people will hate it."
你大脑默认会想,“我要做个视频。人们都讨厌它。”
"Everyone will make fun of me." "People will get angry." "They will come and burn down my house."
“人们都会取笑我。”“他们会生气。”“会来烧了我的房子。”
Like seriously, those are your either conscious or subconscious thoughts.
真的,那些都是你有意识或下意识的想法。
What is the reality though? The worst thing that will happen to you in reality is a negative comment. That is it.
那么事实是什么呢?现实中会发生的最糟糕的事情是消极的评论。仅此而已。
And it's the same thing with everything else like starting a business, or giving a speech.
其他的事情也是同样的道理,比如创业,或演讲。
I have basically no experience speaking in front of large crowds,
我没有在大众面前演讲的经历,
so if I gave a speech right now it would probably suck.
所以如果我现在做演讲的话肯定很糟糕。
I might have stage-fright, I might be awkward, but I would never, never refuse to do it. Why?
我可能会怯场,会尴尬,但我绝不会拒绝去做。为什么?
Because what's the worst thing that can happen? It's not that the whole world is going to make fun of me,
因为最糟糕的情况是什么呢?不会是全世界都在嘲笑我,
it's not that people are going to try to kill me everywhere I go after my speech. No!
也不会是在我演讲之后到哪人们都想杀了我。不!
It's some guy in the crowd who never even got invited up on the stage thinking that my speech isn't that great!!
是人群中没有机会上台演讲的家伙认为我的演讲不是那么好!
like who cares?! So let me give you another example... Our washing machine broke down.
谁在乎?那么让我举另一个例子…我们的洗衣机坏了。
Now, if I wasn't conscious of my worrying,
现在,如果我没意识到我的担心,
I would've gotten super pissed off, right? That's the normal reaction to it.
我会非常生气,对吗?那是正常反应。
Like I've never seen anyone saying, "Oh the washing machine broke down?" "That's great. no big deal."
我从来没听人说过,“噢,洗衣机坏了?”“太棒了。没什么大不了的。”
No, that's supposed to piss you off. Now you'll never have clean clothes again.
不,你应该会生气。现在你再也不会有干净的衣服了。
Look, I spent the first 17 years of my life washing my clothes with my hands with some shitty russian detergent.
看吧,我人生的前17年都在用劣质的俄罗斯洗衣粉手洗衣服。
So what's the worst thing that can happen?
所以能够发生的最糟糕的事情是什么呢?
That I have to wash a couple of shirts with this amazing coconut soap I have for a few days until the washing machine gets fixed?
我必须用这种神奇的椰子皂洗几件衬衫直到洗衣机修好?
Or, that I can't wear my favorite shirt, so now I have to pick from the twenty other awesome shirts in my closet?
或者,我不能穿最喜欢的衬衫了,那么现在我不得不从衣橱里的其他二十几件衬衫中挑选一件来穿?
I mean, it's so ridiculous! Always ask yourself, what's the worst thing that can happen?
我的意思是,那太荒唐了!问问你自己,可能发生的最糟糕的事情是什么?
Clearly define the worst outcome, and you'll soon start to realize how ridiculous most of your worries are,
清晰的描述出最糟糕的结果,你就会马上意识到你的大多数担心是多么荒唐,
which actually leads us to my next favorite idea... The absurdity of it all.
这让我想到了下一个很喜欢的观点…所有事情的荒谬性。
So I have a friend who's constantly worried about everything.
我有个朋友总是担心各种事情。
And he called me, and he started to tell me about all the stuff he's stressed out and worried about.
他给我打电话,开始告诉我他面临的压力和担忧。
And I said, "Okay. look. just stop."
我说,“好吧。快停下。”
Carnegie tells a story of this guy in World War Two,
卡耐基讲了二战中这个家伙的一个故事,
who's stuck in a submarine and basically knows that he'll be dying in the next few hours.
他被困在一个潜艇中,基本得知在接下来的几个小时中生还无望。
And he sits there thinking about all the stuff he used to worry about at home,
他坐在那里思考他在家里担心过的所有事情,
and how absurd it was, and makes a promise to never waste his life again like that if he survives.
多么荒唐,他发誓如果能够活下去他再也不会像之前那样浪费生命。
Now, that might be hard to resonate with, so let me give you a more contemporary example.
这个故事可能很难引起共鸣,我再讲一个更现代的例子。

如何停止忧虑 开始新的生活

People are having their heads chopped off every single day. Every single day!

每天都会有人们被杀害。每天!
The only reason it's not you is because you were born in a certain place and they weren't. That's it!
之所以不是你是因为你出生在一个好地方而他们不是。仅此而已!
Now going back to my friend, I told him, "Look, here's what I want you to do."
现在回到我朋友的那个例子,我告诉他,“看,这是我想让你做的。”
"Every day, you will start your morning by watching somebody's head being chopped off."
“每天,你从看到别人被杀开始你的一天。”
"And then you'll go about the rest of the day."
“然后过完这一天剩下的时间。”
And he started freaking out about how he can't do that and how he doesn't like blood and whatever...
他开始害怕不能那么做,他不喜欢见血之类的…
Now, here's the thing. I know that's really crass and morbid, but I don't care!
事实是,我知道那很粗鲁很恐怖,但我不在乎!
If you don't worry about stuff, great! You don't have to watch anything.
如果你不担心,那太棒了!你不必看任何东西。
But if you're worried about stupid shit all the time, you have a disease!
但如果你一直担心那些蠢事,你就是有病!
So you either treat yourself, or never ask about how you can stop worrying again. Ever.
要么治好你自己,要么永远不要问怎么停止担心。永远。
Here's what I will guarantee you. If you start your day by watching someone else have their head chopped off,
我向你保证。如果你的一天是从看别人被杀开始的,
nothing and I mean absolutely nothing could possibly happen to you for the rest of the day
那么那天就绝对不会,我是说绝对不会发生
that you could get pissed off about and not feel like a complete retard.
让你生气还不觉得是浪费时间的事情。
Yes, when you've seen someone's head chopped off,
是的,当你看到某人被杀的时候,
you will have a weird feeling inside you as soon as you start to complain about how you deserve to be paid more at your job,
你一旦开始抱怨本该得到更多的报酬,
or what you're going to do now since you got a B+ instead of an A, or how your washing machine is broken.
或因为得了B+没得A而不知所措,或洗衣机怎么坏了,内心就会有一种奇怪的感觉。
you'll realize that if that guy had been given the chance to live
你要意识到如果那个家伙有生存的机会,
and wear that same dirty shirt for the rest of his life without ever being able to wash it,
余生都穿那件相同的脏衬衫而且不能清洗,
he would have been the happiest man alive. Realize the absurdity of it all.
他也会是活着的最幸福的人。意识到所有一切都是荒唐的。
The third big idea: Staying busy.
第三要点:保持忙碌。
Now I don't mean the average busy person. Actually, those are the people who worry the most.
我不是指一般忙碌的人们。实际上,他们才是担忧最多的人。
The guy who works 12-hour days, and then comes home and watches fox all night worrying about
那个一天工作12小时的家伙,回到家整晚都在看狐狸还担心着
whether some guy can marry another guy or about all the foreigners who will come and take his job,
是不是谁和谁结婚了,或是担心所有来抢他的工作的外国人,
you know, because he is the only one entitled to that job.
你知道吗,因为他是唯一有资格做那个工作的人。
I'm not talking about that kind of busy...
我不是讨论那种忙碌…
Here's how I like to stay busy... Read a book that I like.
这才是我喜欢的保持忙碌的方式…读一本我喜欢的书籍。
Go to the gym with my girlfriend. Play around on the piano and compose.
和女朋友去健身房。弹弹钢琴并做点小曲。
Cook amazing food. Work on a project I'm passionate about.
做好吃的。专注于一个我很热衷的项目。
Now, here's what happens when you do that...
当你那么做的时候会发生…
Your brain can't think of two things at one time. It just doesn't have that capability.
你的大脑不可能同一时间思考两件事情。他没有那种能力。
You can try right now if you want. You can't think of your broken washing machine and at the same time,
如果你想,可以马上试一下。你不可能在琢磨你坏掉的洗衣机的同时,
think of how much you love playing soccer.
还想着你多么喜欢踢足球。
It's not how your brain works.
你的大脑不是那样工作的。
So the best way to get rid of the negative thoughts in your head is to actually start putting positive thoughts in there.
所以摆脱脑海里消极思想的最好方法是开始往里面灌输积极的思想。
Get busy with what you love and your brain simply won't even have the ability to worry.
做自己喜欢的事情,让自己忙起来,那样你的大脑就没有能力再去担心了。
And finally a question that really resonated with me.
最后一个真正引发我共鸣的问题。
Here's what you're going to do in your life...
这就是你在生活中所做的事情…
You're going to work and worry your entire life so you can gather a bunch of stuff,
你去工作,担心你的生活,以至于你会收集很多东西,
like your house and all the stupid shit in it.
就比如你的房子和里面所有愚蠢的东西。
Now... If you're lucky, after 50 years of all that worry and stress,
现在…如果你够幸运,50年之后所有的担心和压力,
all your stuff might be worth a million dollars.
所有的东西都可能值上百万美元。
Here's the question, would you sell your legs for a million dollars?
问题来了,你愿意为了一百万美元卖掉你的双腿吗?
Let me ask you this, would you sell your legs for a billion dollars?
让我问一下,你愿意为了10亿卖掉你的双腿吗?
I wouldn't. And you probably wouldn't either.
我不愿意。你应该也不愿意。
Would you sell your arms for another billion dollars? No?
你愿意为了另一个十亿卖掉你的胳膊吗?不?
There you go, you already have something that you value at two billion dollars!
那就是,你已经拥有价值二十亿美元的东西!
Actually, hopefully more... But, you don't have to be all zen,
事实上,期望值更多…但是,你不必成为禅宗,
you could be a greedy capitalist like me and understand this.
你应该成为像我一样的贪婪资本家,并明白这些。
Now here's what you're going to do...
你是这么做的…
You're going to ignore and not utilize something worth two billion dollars,
你会忽略,不去使用那价值二十亿美元的东西,
because you're too busy worrying and stressing about the things
因为你太忙于担心和关注那些
that might amount to 1 million dollars at the end of your life.
在你生命尽头可能价值一百万美元的东西。
Oh, and you'll be considered really lucky if that happens by the way!
噢,如果顺便那么发生了,那你太幸运了!
Alright, so I don't know if you're seeing how crazy that is,
好吧,我不知道你有没有看到那是多么疯狂,
but that's kind of like having a huge mansion, a personal jet, every single car you ever wished for,
但那有点像是拥有大别墅,私人飞机,你期望的每辆车,
and not using and enjoying those things,
然而却不去使用和享受他们,
because you're too worried about one day being able to buy a Corolla.
因为你过于担心有一天要买一辆卡罗拉。
That is crazy! ...and sad. You already have everything that you value at billions and billions of dollars.
那简直疯了!…还很悲哀。你早已经拥有了价值几十亿美元的东西。
So stop ignoring, wasting, and treating it like shit for hours and days,
不要因为担心抱怨话费怎么从100美元涨到了120美元这样的小事
so you can worry and bitch about how your phone bill went up from a $100 to a $120.
而忽视、浪费那些价值几十亿的东西,并把它们当垃圾一样闲置着。

重点单词   查看全部解释    
morbid ['mɔ:bid]

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adj. 病态的,不正常的

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conscious ['kɔnʃəs]

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adj. 神志清醒的,意识到的,自觉的,有意的

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rare [rɛə]

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adj. 稀罕的,稀薄的,罕见的,珍贵的
ad

 
outcome ['autkʌm]

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n. 结果,后果

 
ignore [ig'nɔ:]

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vt. 不顾,不理,忽视

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miserable ['mizərəbl]

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adj. 悲惨的,痛苦的,贫乏的

 
define [di'fain]

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v. 定义,解释,限定,规定

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reaction [ri'ækʃən]

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n. 反应,反作用力,化学反应

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passionate ['pæʃənit]

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adj. 热情的,易怒的,激情的

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ridiculous [ri'dikjuləs]

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adj. 荒谬的,可笑的

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