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Rachel: Hello.
喂。
Monica: Hey, Rach, it's me.
嘿，瑞秋，是我。
Rachel: Hi!
嗨！
Monica: OK, I just got to Chandler's room and I caught him molesting himself.
我刚到钱德的房间，然后看到他正在猥亵他自己。
Rachel: Oh, that couldn't've been pretty. But you know, guys do that.
那画面可能不是很好看。但是你知道的，男生常那样做的。
Monica: Yeah, well, the weird part is...he was getting off to a shark attack show!
但是，很奇怪的是他在看的是鲨鱼攻击影片耶！
Rachel: Nooo!
好恶心！
Monica: Yes! Chandler watches shark porn!
是的！钱德竟然在看鲨鱼色情片！
Rachel: Well, watching sharks? Are you sure that's what he was doing?
在看鲨鱼的时候？你确定他是在做那档事吗？
Monica: Do you know how many times I've seen him jump up like that?
你知道我看他那样跳起来过多少次了吗？
Monica:Believe me, I know what he was doing.
相信我，我知道他在做什么。
Rachel: Man, sharks. I always knew there was something weird about that dude.
天啊！鲨鱼！我就知道那个人有地方不对劲。
Rachel:But you promised to love him no matter what.
但是你发誓过无论如何都要爱他的。
Monica: What means like if he gets like a disease or kills someone.
“无论如何”讲的是像如果他得病还是杀了人什么的。
Monica:Not if he gets his jollies to Jaws!
而不是如果他把小弟弟放到鲨鱼嘴里。
Rachel: Ah!
嗷！
Rachel:You know what hell honey? Guys are just different.
你知道吗？亲爱的男生是很不一样的。
Rachel:They like things that we can't understand.
他们喜欢一些我们无法理解的东西。
Rachel:You know, I once dated this guy who wanted to pretend that he was an archeologist and that I was this naughty cave woman who he unfroze from a block of ice.
我曾经约会过一个男的，总是想要假装……他是考古学家，而我是……他从冰块中解救出来调皮的山顶洞女人。
Monica: Eww, are-are you talking about my bother?
你是在说我哥吗？
Rachel: Yeah, I didn't disguise that very well, did I.
我装得不像，对不对？
Joey: Hey!
嘿！
Rachel: Hi.
嗨。
Joey: Listen to this...I went out with this girl last night. Half way through our date, I realized, I already slept with her!
我昨晚跟一个女孩子出去。我到一半的时候才发现，我已经跟她上过床了！
Rachel: So basically, you've slept with all the woman in New York and now you're just going around again.
所以你已经跟全纽约的女人上过床了，现在只是从头开始再来一次？
Joey: Well that's not even the weird part.
这还不是最奇怪的地方。
Joey:I don't think she remembered sleeping with me.
她竟然不记得跟我上过床了。
Monica: But you don't remember sleeping with her.
你也不记得跟她上过床啊。
Joey: Yeah, but she should remember sleeping with me! I am very memorable, you guys know.
但是她应该要记得的！我可是很令人难忘的，你们知道的。
Rachel: What, how do we know, we never slept with you.
我们怎么会知道呢？我们又没有跟你上过床。
Joey: And whose fault is that?
那是谁的错呢？
Monica: What's the big deal, you forgot, she forgot, maybe you were having an off night.
又没有什么大不了的，你忘了，她忘了，或许那天晚上你没有达阵。
Joey: Hey! I never have an off night, OK, although, sometimes if I'm a little bloated I don't feel that sexy, but even that I'm better than most!
嘿！我向来都有达阵的，好吗？虽然有时候如果我吃太胀可能就不会觉得很性感，但是即使是那样，我都比别人强！
Monica: Honey, why don't you just let it go and ask her out again?
亲爱的，你何不就此释怀再约她出去呢？
Rachel: Yeah, you're both so slutty you don't even remember who you've slept with! You're made for each other.
你们都是骚货，你们根本都不记得跟谁上过床！你们是天生的一对。
Joey: Interesting. You know. All right, Well I'll-I'll go out with her again and I'll try to get past it Oh salt, bloaty!
真有趣。好吧，我会再跟她出去，然后忘了过去，不吃盐，会胀气！
Monica: Joey.
乔伊？
Joey: What?
干嘛？
Monica: Joey, You don't think sharks are sexy do you?
你会觉得鲨鱼很性感吗？
Joey: No. Wait a minute, what was the little mermaid?
不会。等一下，等等，小美人鱼是鲨鱼吗？
Phoebe: It's open.
门没锁！
Ross: Hey!
嘿！
Phoebe: Hey! Mike called, we're going out again! Yay! Yay!
麦克打电话来了，我们要再约会了！
Ross: Yay! Quick thing, Um, I went to talk to Mike.
件小事，我去找麦克谈过。
Phoebe: What? Wh-what did you, what did you do, Ross!
什么？你做……你做了什么？罗斯！
Ross: Oh boy, you got mad at that part.
喔，天啊，光这样你就生气了。
Ross:I-I went over there you know to-to tell him how-how great you are, but, well you-you know me, blah blah blah, and I-I ended up telling him, um...that...
我过去找他，告诉他你是个很棒的人，但是……嗯，你知道我的，话太多了，然后我最后竟然告诉他……
Phoebe: What? !
什么？
Ross: Umm...you had a six-year-long relationship with a guy named Vicrum.
你有过六年的恋情……跟一个叫做伟软的人。
Phoebe: What? Why!
什么？为什么？
Ross: Well, he seemed bummed hard that you'd never been in a serious relationship.
因为，他……在我说你从未谈过认真的恋情之后，好像有点惊讶。
Phoebe: If you hadn't just had a baby with my best friend, I swear to Lucifer, a rabid dog would be feasting on your danglers right now!
如果你不是刚跟我最要好的朋友生下小孩，我跟撤旦发誓，一只狂犬病疯狗正要吃掉你裤档里的那根东西了！
Ross: Well Phoebe, I think you'll feel differently when you know a little bit about Vicrum.
我想如果你知道多一点关于伟软的事，你会感觉好多了。
Ross:Ok, he's a, um, he's a kite designer!
好的，他是……他是风筝设计师！
Ross:And he used to date Oprah!
而且他曾经跟于美人约会过！
Phoebe: I'm not going along with some lie you made up, Ross. No, I'm just, I'm just gonna be honest with him.
我不会跟你唱双簧说谎的，罗斯。我会跟他老实说。
Ross: Good, yeah, just-just be honest with him.
很好跟他老实说。
Phoebe: Yeah, I've nothing to be ashamed of.
我没有什么好隐瞒的。
Phoebe:OK, so, all right, I haven't been in a relationship that lasted longer then a month.
没错，就算我的每段感情没都有超过1个月，那又如何呢？
Phoebe:OK, I-I haven't had a real boyfriend.
是啊，我是没有过真正的男朋友。
Phoebe:You know, if he can't handle that, then he can leave.
如果他无法接受，那他可以离开。
Phoebe:Which he will, and you know, that's OK. So, I'll just be alone forever, you know, alright, I'll be...it'll be fine, it'll be fine. I'll go on, I'll go on walking tours with widows and lesbians.
我想他会离开的，而这一切都没有关系。我只不过会永远孤单而己，都没关系了，一切都会没事的，我就跟寡妇还有同性恋一起出去玩嘛。
Ross: I'll get it.
我去开门。
Phoebe: OK.
好的。
Mike: I'm trying to remember the last time I opened a door and you weren't there. Phoebe, are you OK?
让我想想有哪一次，开门的人不是你。菲比，你还好吗？
Phoebe: Uh huh, yeah. There's just, umm, there's something you should know... Vicrum just called.
还好，只不过是……有件事你必须要知道……伟软刚打电话来。
Hayley: So it was really a shock. After 25 years of marriage, my parents, a perfect couple, are getting divorced.
所以在经历二十五年的婚姻之后，这真是很让人惊讶，我的模范父母竟然要离婚。
Hayley:I kinda took it the hardest 'cause I was the youngest.
我真的很难接受，因为我年龄最小。
Joey: Uh huh, sure, yeah. How can you not remember me?
当然咯。你怎么会忘了我是谁？
Hayley: What?
什么？
Joey: How could you not remember that we slept together?
你怎么会忘了我们上过床？
Hayley: What! When?
什么？何时？
Joey: I don't know!
我不知道！
Hayley: I really, really think I would remember sleeping with you.
我真的、真的认为如果有我会记得的。
Joey: Come on, come on, search your brain. All right. it was...a certain amount of time ago, ok, I was here, you were here, we had sex here, here, here, not there. Anything?
快点，快点，仔细回想，好吗？那就在……之前某个时候，我在这里，你在这里，我们在这里，这里，这里，没有那里，嘿咻。想起来了吗？
Hayley: No, it's not ringing any bells.
没，一点印象也没有。
Joey: My God, woman! How many people do you have to have been with not to remember any of this?
天啊，女人！你跟多少人上过床让你根本不记得我？
Joey:Hayley's roommate: Hey Hayley, you've really gotta fix that doorknob. Joey? !
嘿，海莉，我们真的要修理那个门把了。乔伊？
Joey: Oooooh, I slept with you!
我跟你上过床！
Joey:And you obviously remember me.
而且很明显的你记得我。
Joey:Hey! I still got it. So we're good. I'll let myself out.
嘿，表示我还不赖！所以我们还好嘛。我自己出去。
Phoebe: and I-I said, ok, Vicrum, you can't just call every time you get lonely, you know, you, you gave up that right when you slept with Rachel.
然后我说，伟软……你不能每次寂寞就打电话给我，在你跟瑞秋上床之后你就没有那个权力了。
Mike: But Rachel, I thought she just had a baby with Ross.
瑞秋？我以为她才刚生下罗斯的小孩。
Phoebe: Yeah, well yeah, you know, but Emma's birth certificate might say Geller but her eyes say Mookurgee.
是啊，嗯……是啊，艾玛的出生证明上或许生父是罗斯，但是她长得像伟软。
Mike: That is so wrong and on top of that he's a glue sniffer?
这实在太糟了，而且他还吸强力胶？
Phoebe: I know but he calls and my heart goes to him.
我知道，但是他打来时我的心就飞向他了。
Phoebe:You know that bastard is one smooth-talking freelance kite designer.
你知道的，那个浑蛋是个很会说话的风筝设计师。
Mike: If you want, you know, I'll mess him up for you.
如果你要的话，我可以帮你修理他。
Phoebe: You would do that?
真的吗？
Mike: Yeah! Unless he's big. I mean, if he's really big, I'll send the bum... a rude letter.
除非他很大只。如果他真的很大只，我会给他一封信，骂死他。
Mike:I just, I think there's somebody better out there for you, I mean you know, I'm not saying me, but... maybe me.
我想有更好的人在等着你，我是说，你知道的，我…… 我不是指我，但是……或许是我。
Phoebe: Oh.
哦。
Mike: And you don't have to worry about glue sniffing with me.
而且你不用担心我会吸强力胶。
Mike:Although I do smell the occasional magic marker, yeah. Ah anyway, I just, I think I can make you happy.
虽然有时候我会闻麦克笔的味道，是啊，反正，我只是……我想我可以让你快乐。
Phoebe: OK I can't do this.
好了，我办不到。
Mike: What's wrong?
怎么了？
Phoebe: Well, there is no Vicrum, Ross made him up because I-I really never have been in a long-term relationship, I've never, I've never lived with a guy, and I've never even celebrated an anniversary so...
根本没有伟软这个人，罗斯乱扯的，因为我……我从未有过爱情长跑，我从未跟男人同居过，从来没有庆祝交往一周年，所以……
Phoebe:you know if that's, that's too weird for you and-and you wanna leave I totally understand. In fact I'll-I'll close my eyes, make it less awkward.
如果这对你而言太奇怪……所以你想现在就走人我可以理解。事实上，我要闭上双眼，让这一切不至于太尴尬。
Phoebe:You kissed me.
你亲了我。
Mike: Uh huh.
嗯。
Phoebe: So you don't think I'm a total freak.
你不认为我是怪人吗？
Mike: No. Well...look, can I, can I think you're a little weird and also cool for telling me the truth and also wanna kiss you?
不。那么……那，我可不……我可不可以认为你有点怪，但又有点酷……因为你告诉我事情的真相，而且让我想亲你？
Phoebe: I guess so, can I, can I think it's cool that you kiss me and also wanna kiss you again? And umm, be a little concerned about the magic markers?
我想应该可以，我可不可以认为，你亲我真是很酷，而且我想要亲回去？有一点担心奇异笔的事可以吗？
Mike: Definitely.
当然可以。
Ross: This is Vicrum. I need to talk to you about the long-term relationship we had. Call me. I am in my kite-making studio.
我是伟软。我需要跟你谈我们之间那段长期的恋情。回电给我，我在我的风筝工作室。
Chandler: Hi honey, I'm home.
嗨，亲爱的，我回来了。
Monica: Hey, how was your flight?
嗨，旅途还好吗？
Chandler: Oh, It was great. I ordered a pool float from the Sky Mall.
不错，我从飞机上的购物目录订了浮板。
Chandler: Why'd I do that?
为什么我要订呢？
Monica: Why don't you sit down. Get yourself comfortable. Because I have a little surprise for you.
过来坐下吧。放轻松、舒服点。因为我有个小……惊喜要给你。
Chandler: Well, well, well. It must be 5:00 in Tulsa because it's "sex o'clock" in N.Y.C. !
哦，哦，哦。土尔沙现在一定是五点因为纽约现在是“六”点(音近性)！
Monica: OK.This is how much I love you.
好了，这代表我有多爱你。
Monica:The great white...
大白鲨……
Chandler: Honey, why am I watching a bunch of sharks swimming around?
亲爱的？为什么要我看一群鲨鱼游来游去呢？
Monica: Is this, is this not the good part? Do you want me to fast forward to something toothier?
这不是……这不是你爱看的吗？要我快转吗？转到露齿……比较多的地方吗？
Chandler: No, I'm-I'm just not sure that you got the right movie, that's all.
不，我只是想确定你是不是拿错了录影带。
Monica: Oh, this is the only one they had at our video store, but they did have something called crocodile killers. Or does it always have to be sharks?
录影带店里只有这一卷，不过他们倒是有一部叫“鳄鱼杀手”的。还是说，你非要鲨鱼不可呢？
Chandler: Does what always have to be sharks?
为什么我非要鲨鱼不可？
Monica: Honey, look, we can do something else, do you want me to get into the tub and thrash?
听着，我们可以来点别的，你要我到浴缸里……再用力扭吗？
Chandler: What's going on?
到底是怎么回事？
Monica: Sweetie it's OK, it's OK, I still love you, let me be a part of this.
没关系，没关系的，我还是爱你的，让我了解这一切。
Chandler: Let me be a part of this!
是你应该让我了解这一切！
Monica: I saw what you were doing in Tulsa. Angry sharks turn you on!
我看到你在土尔沙做的事。愤怒的鲨鱼让你“性”奋！
Chandler: No they don't.
不，并没有。
Monica: Then why were you watching them and giving yourself a treat?
那为什么你一边看着它们一边自己玩呢？
Chandler: Oh my God! When you came in, I switched the channel, I was just watching regular porn!
哦，天啊！当你一进来我就转台了，我本来只是在看一般的色情片。
Monica: Really?
真的吗？
Chandler: Yes, just some good old-fashioned American girl-on-girl action.
是的，只不过是一些正常老套、美式的女对女动作片。
Monica: I cannot tell you how happy that makes me!
这件事真是让我太高兴了！
Chandler: You are an amazing wife.
你是个不可思议的老婆。
Chandler:No really, you're amazing! I mean, you were actually gonna do this for me? I mean, where do you find the strength and understanding over something like that?
真的，太不可思议了！你真的愿意为我这样做？你是怎么会有这样的意志跟谅解呢？
Monica: I'm very, very drunk right now.
因为我现在非常、非常地醉。
Joey: See, ordinarily I would talk to her, but my confidence is shaken...did I sleep with her? did I not sleep with her?
通常我会去跟她搭汕的，但是我的自信已经动摇了……我有跟她上床吗？我没有跟她上床吗？
Phoebe: You know, maybe this is a wake-up call, you know, about-about your whole dating attitude.
或许该是你反省的时候了，检讨你的整个约会态度。
Phoebe:You're in your 30's and you have never been in a long-term relationship, you know you go from woman to woman, meaningless experience to meaningless experience, never even worrying that it doesn't turn into something more serious?
你已经三十好几了，没有谈过一个长期的恋爱女人，从一个换到另一个……没有意义的关系换到另一个没有意义的关系，从不担心这些恋情都没有任何的发展。
Joey: You're right! I love my life!
你说的没错！我爱死我的人生了！
Joey:Actually did sleep with her.
事实上我跟她上过床了。
