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Jay Leno: Is there any entertainment there? What are people doing?
哪里有娱乐？人们在干嘛？
Joey: All right! Here we go! 1999! The year of Joey!
来啰！1999年 乔伊“快乐”的一年！
Chandler: We're very happy for you.
恭喜你。
Joey: What's the matter? !
怎么了？
Chandler: We wanted to kiss at midnight, but nobody else is going to, so, you know...
我们想在午夜接吻，但其他人都没这个打算……
Joey: All right, I'll take care of it.
好，交给我。
Monica: Oh no, wait! Joey! It's 36 seconds till midnight. What're you gonna do?
乔伊，只剩30秒了，你能怎么办？
Joey: Will you just trust me?
相信我好吗？
Ross: 33! 32! 31!
33！32！31！
Joey: Ross! Ross! Ross, listen! Who are you kissing at midnight, huh? Rachel or Phoebe?
罗斯……你0点要亲谁？瑞秋还是菲比？
Ross: What?
什么？
Joey: Well you gotta kiss someone, you can't kiss your sister.
你得亲别人，又不能亲你妹妹。
Ross: Well who's gonna kiss my sister.
那谁要亲我妹？
Joey: Chandler.
钱德。
Ross: Awww, man! Really?
不会吧？
Joey: Dude-dude, who would you rather have kiss your sister, me or Chandler?
老兄，你觉得谁比较好，我还是钱德？
Ross: It's a good point.
有道理。
Joey: Yeah.
对。
Ross: Uh well, since I have that whole history with Rachel, I guess Phoebe.
我和瑞秋有太多纠葛，那就菲比吧。
Joey: Ok, great!
好。
Ross: All right.
好吧。
Joey: Pheebs! Pheebs! Listen, Ross wants to kiss you at midnight!
菲比！罗斯午夜想亲你！
Phoebe: It's so obvious, why doesn't he just ask?
太明显了，他大可直说。
Joey: Rach! Rach! Listen, I'm gonna kiss you at midnight.
瑞秋！我午夜要亲你。
Rachel: What?
什么？
Ross: Well, everyone's gotta kiss someone. You can't kiss Ross, you got the history.
大家都得找人亲，因为你俩的过去所以你不能亲罗斯。
Rachel: So?
所以呢？
Joey: So? Who would you rather have kiss you, me or Chandler?
所以你想让我亲还是让钱德亲？
Rachel: Oh, good point.
有道理。
Joey: Yeah!
对吧。
All: 3! 2! 1! Happy New Year!
3！2！1！新年快乐！
Chandler: Happy New Year!
新年快乐。
Monica: Happy New Year.
新年快乐。
Ross: Happy New Year, Pheebs!
菲比，新年快乐。
Phoebe: You too!
你也是！
Rachel: Happy New Year, Joey!
乔伊，新年快乐。
Joey: So did that do anything for ya?
刚才那个吻如何？
Ross: You know what? I'm gonna go out on a limb, and say no divorces in '99!
你们知道吗？我要召告天下，99年我不离婚。
Rachel: But your divorce isn't even final yet.
但你的离婚手续还没办好。
Ross: Just the one divorce in '99! You know what, I am gonna be happy this year. I am gonna make myself happy.
99年我只离一次婚，漂亮。我今年要过得很快乐，我要让自己快乐。
Chandler: Do you want us to leave the room, or?
你要我们回避吗？
Ross: Everyday I am gonna do one thing I haven't done before. That, my friends, is my New Year's resolution.
我每天都要做一件没做过的事，这就是我的新年新希望。
Phoebe: Ooh! That's a good one! Mine is to pilot a commercial jet.
好棒的希望，我是想开大型客机。
Chandler: That's a good one too, Pheebs. Now all you have to do is to find a planeload of people who's resolution is to plummet to their deaths.
这个也很棒，接着你得找一群希望自己坠机身亡的人。
Phoebe: Maybe your resolution should be not to make fun of your friends, especially the ones who may soon beflying you to Europe for free on their own plane.
也许你应该立志不取笑朋友，尤其是会免费载你去欧洲的人。
Monica: She has a better chance of sprouting wings and flying up your nose than you do of not making fun of us.
她开飞机的机率，比你不取笑我们还高。
Ross: In fact, I'll bet you 50 bucks that you can't go the whole year without making fun of us. Eh, you knowwhat, better yet? A week.
50元赌你无法1年不笑我们，干脆1星期好了。
Chandler: I'll take that bet my friend. And you know what, paying me the 50 bucks can be the "new thing youdo that day!" And it starts right now!
我赌了。输我那50元，就可以当你的“每日新鲜事”。就从现在开始！
Joey: All right, my New Year's resolution, is to learn how to play guitar.
我的新年新希望是学吉他。
Ross: Ohh.
哦。
Phoebe: Really? ! How come?
真的？为什么？
Joey: Well, you know those special skills I have listed on my resume? I would love it if one of those was true.
我的履历表，不是列了一堆特殊专长吗？我希望有一项是真的。
Phoebe: Do you want me to teach you? I'm a great teacher.
你要我教你吗？我是个很好的老师。
Joey: Uh really? Who-who have you taught?
真的？你教过谁？
Phoebe: Well, I taught me and I loved me.
我教过我，我很喜欢我。
Joey: Yeah that'd be great! Yeah, thanks Pheebs!
太好了，谢谢你！
Monica: My resolution is to be less obsessed with being neat and clean.
我希望自己不要那么洁癖。
Rachel: Really? Hmm.
是吗？
Monica: Noooooooo!
不要！
Monica: Or something else.
换一个好了。
Rachel: Op, look! Claire forgot her glasses!
布莱儿忘了把眼镜带走。
Rachel: And she's gonna really be needing these to keep an eye on that boyfriend, who, from what I hear, needs to keep his stapler in his desk drawer, if you know what I'm talking about.
她需要这副眼镜来盯住男朋友，听说她男朋友得把订书机收在抽屉里，你们懂我的意思吧。
Monica: Hey Rach, maybe your resolution should be to umm, gossip less.
或许你应该让自己别那么八卦。
Rachel: Wh- I don't gossip!
我哪有八卦！
All: No, no.
不不。
Rachel: Well, maybe sometimes I find out things or I hear something and I pass that information on, you know, kind of like a public service.
或许我偶尔会发现一些事，或听到一些事，然后转述出去。当做一种公众服务。
Rachel: It doesn't mean I'm a gossip. I mean, would you call Ted Kopel a gossip?
这并不代表我很八卦，你们会说泰德·科佩尔（主持人）八卦吗？
Monica: Well if Ted Kopel talked about his coworkers botched boob jobs, yeah I would.
如果他说同事隆胸失败的话，我会的。
Rachel: Wh-wh? They were like this! All right. Ok. Fine, fine. My new year's resolution will be not to gossip! It's easy.
她隆成这样耶！好，我的新年新希望就是不八卦！这还不简单。
Monica: Oh easy, you have never kept a resolution.
简单？你从来没做到过。
Rachel: Yes I have!
我当然有。
Monica: Ok, let's see how you did last year...
好，来看看你去年的表现。
Rachel: No-no. Not my diary. No-you cannot read my diary.
不要拿我的日记，你不能看我的日记。
Monica: Dear Diary, I am so excited. My resolution is to write in you every day. I'll see you tomorrow. Nothing!
亲爱的日记：我好兴奋，我的新年新希望是每天写你。我们明天见，什么都没写。
Rachel: You know...not a lot happened last year. All right-all right I'll prove to you that I can keep it this time. No more gossiping!
去年没发生什么事。好，我这次会证明给你们看，我再也不八卦了。
Phoebe: I hate gossip. In junior high this girl said a lot of mean stuff about me and I set her bike on fire.
我恨八卦，初中时，有个女生说了我很多坏话，我就放火烧她的脚踏车。
Monica: Oh, what did she say about you?
她说你什么？
Phoebe: She said I was crazy. Well I guess she got hers huh.
她说我太疯狂了，得到报应了吧。
Woman: I'll see you tomorrow.
那就明天见。
Ross: Ok!
好！
Chandler and Joey: Hey!
嗨！
Ross: I just asked that girl out.
我约刚才那个女生出去。
Chandler: Nice!
很好！
Joey: Nice! Yeah! Is that part of your resolution, your new thing for today?
这算是你今天的新鲜事吗？
Ross: Yes it is. See.
没错，你们看。
Chandler: Elizabeth Hornswoggle?
伊丽莎白……逗你玩？
Ross: That's right, uh, Elizabeth Hornswoggle.
对……伊丽莎白逗你玩。
Chandler: Horn-swoggle.
逗你玩。
Joey: You ok Chandler? Is there something, something funny about that name?
你还好吗？这个姓有哪里好笑吗？
Chandler: No. No, I just think that maybe I've-I've heard it somewhere before.
没有，我只是觉得以前好像听过。
Joey: Oh really? Where? Somewhere funny I'll bet!
是吗？在哪里听过？一定是个很好笑的地方！
Ross: Hi, Pheebs!
嗨！
Phoebe: Hey!
嗨！
Ross: Oh-oh, guess what? I-I have a date with Elizabeth Hornswoggle.
菲比，知道吗？我要跟一个伊丽莎白逗你玩约会。
Phoebe: Hornswoggle? Ooh, this must be killing you.
逗你玩？你的嘴一定很痒。
Chandler: Not really.
才不会。
Ross: I haven't told you her middle name yet.
我还没说她中间的名字。
Chandler: Well, don't, just don't.
拜托不要。
Ross: All right, see you later.
待会见。
Joey: See ya! All right Pheebs, I am ready for my first lesson.
菲比，我可以上第一课了。
Phoebe: Ok. Oh no-no-no, you don't touch the guitar! No-no, first you learn here, then you learn here.
好。不行，不能碰吉他。先练手，再练琴。
Joey: Umm, ok.
好吧。
Phoebe: Ok, lesson one: chords. Now, um, I don't know the actual names of the chords, umm, but, I-I-I made up names for the way my hand looks while I'm doing them.
好，第一课，和弦。我不知道这些和弦的真正名称，不过我照手势帮它们取了名字。
Phoebe: So then, this is Bear Claw. Ok, umm, Turkey Leg, and Old Lady.
所以这是熊爪……火鸡脚……和老太太。
Chandler: What an interesting approach to guitar instruction. You know some might find it amusing, I myselffind it regular.
真有趣的吉他教学方式。有些人可能会觉得好笑，我觉得很普通。
Phoebe: Hey everybody, Rachel was so good today. She didn't gossip at all.
各位，瑞秋今天很乖，她都没有八卦。
Rachel: I didn't! Even when I found out...umm, all right, well let's just say I found something out about someone and let's just say she's gonna keep it.
没错，即使我发现……总之我发现了某人的某件事，但是我不会说出来。
Joey: Hey, Pheebs! Check-check this out.
菲比，你看！
Phoebe: Ooh, you-you nailed the Old Lady!
你搞定老太太了！
Joey: Yeah. Yeah listen so, I thought I was getting better, so on my way home today I stopped by this guitarstore and...
我觉得我进步了，就在回家的路上去吉他店……
Phoebe: Did you, did you, touch any of the guitars while you were there? Did you?
你在店里有碰吉他吗？有吗？
Joey: No.
没有。
Phoebe: Give me your hands. Strings. Gimme it! Pick. Do you want to learn to play guitar?
手给我。琴弦，这一只手，弹片。你想学吉他吗？
Joey: Yes!
想啊！
Phoebe: Then don't touch one!
那就不要碰吉他！
Ross & Ben: Hi!
嗨！
Monica: Hi, Ben!
嗨！班！
Ben: Auntie Monica!
莫妮卡姑姑！
Chandler: Ross is wearing leather pants! Does nobody else see that Ross is wearing leather pants? Someone comment on the pants!
罗斯穿皮裤！没有人看见罗斯穿皮裤吗？谁来说句话吧！
Rachel: I think they're very nice.
很帅气啊。
Monica: I really like them a lot.
我很喜欢。
Chandler: Not, what I had in mind! See, people like Ross don't generally wear these types of pants. You see, they're very tight. Maybe there's something in that area.
我想的不是这个，罗斯这种人通常不穿这种裤子。这种裤子很紧，也许可以评论一下这个地方。
Ross: Oh see, I-I needed a new thing for today and there's this leather store I go by that always smells so good and I thought to myself, "Wow, you know, I never owned a really good smelling pair of pants before."
很好看啊，在哪里买的？我还没做今天的新鲜事，我一直觉得这家皮衣店很香。于是我心想，我从来没买过一条很香的皮裤。
Chandler: Oh come on!
拜托啦！
Ross: Ok, seriously, what do you think?
说真的，你们觉得怎样？
Joey: You look like a freak. Yeah.
好怪。
Rachel: Awful, absolutely awful.
难看死了。
Ross: What- Hey- What're you doing, what're you doing?
你在干什么？
Monica: It's my New Year's resolution!
这是我的新年新希望。
Ross: To blind my child?
把我儿子弄瞎？
Monica: No! To take more pictures of all of us together. I mean I really think it's the best resolution because everyone can enjoy the pictures.
不，是多照照我们的相片。我觉得这样最好，大家都会喜欢。
Joey: Well, everyone will enjoy my music as well.
大家也都会喜欢我的演奏。
Ross: My God! These pants are burning up!
天哪，这条裤子热死了！
Ross: Oh come on, she wants to snuggle now! What is she trying to kill me? It's like a volcano in here! Are you hot?
她现在靠过来是想让我死吗？这里面跟火山一样。你热吗？
Elizabeth Hornswoggle: No.
不会。
Ross: Ok, it must just be me then.
那就是我在热。
Ross: That was just the pants on the couch. Umm, hey, do you, do you mind if I use your bathroom?
那是裤子跟沙发磨擦的声音。可以借用一下洗手间吗？
Elizabeth: Oh, go ahead.
请便。
Ross: Thanks.
谢谢。
Elizabeth: Hey, my favorite part is coming up!
我最喜欢的部分要来了。
Ross: Ok!
好！
Ross: Oh my God!
完蛋了！
